Viewer discretion advisory...gentle reminders of how awesome season 1 was...Omg I'm SO excited. Ok, so herez the rulez: There are 11 sexy singles, both male and female. Their goals are to a) secure a roommate (hence the odd number) and b) of course, stay the longest. Once someone is ejected from the hotel, someone new is brought in. omygod i love this show.
ok, cheesy credits introduce us to Chelsea, James, Tidisha, Mike, Charté (!), Rahim, Lauren, Nathan, Tanya, Ryan, and Krista. Looks like we have 6 girls and 5 boys...so if i remember correctly, the girls will be the first to have to worry. Amanda Byram! Welcome back, you irish ho! how have i lived almost five years without this show?!
so here's a quick first impression rundown of our game players based on the first things they tell us about themselves-- Chelsea is a ho, tanya is a drunk, charté is a princess, lauren is...from jersey, tidisha is gonna be a fighter, krista is the virgin, james is an ass, mike is 'the funny guy', rahim is the player, nate is...kind of nerdy, and ryan is the surfer dude with a weird fuckin nose.
let's take a moment to discuss why this show is so awesome. basically, actual people in the world volunteer to get videotaped while trying to fulfill their main purpose -- get really drunk and hookup with someone(s) to survive. and then we're treated to all these people discussing their shared pot of meat without abandon. who does that?
The Paradise Hotel List of Amazing:
1)Amanda Byram very enthusiastically says "Are you guys ready?!!", pauses for an excited reaction (presumably cheers) and is met with dead silence. "...Because this is gonna be the time of your life!!" Pause. Silence. "...You'll never know what's gonna happen here!!" Pause. Silence.
2)Somebody in life has actually said in all seriousness, "if a man's got rhythm, a man's got rhythm" whilst undulating his torso, this man is mike. and now i think he's gay.
3)Amazingly Gross -- Rahim makes a speech to the guys pleading them not to pick lifetime partners because they're gonna switch it up next time and 'sharing is caring'. gross.
4)man, my9 is such a shitty network.
5)mike makes the list again with this gem "if i had to choose, it'd be between chelsea...and...that of Tanya."
Time for roommate picking. If any guy has only one lady, they are paired off as roomies. if a guy has multiple girls, he must choose one. leftover girls then choose leftover guys (if there are any) and the last girl standing must room alone. she has a couple days to try and break a couple up, and whichever girl ends up being alone at the next ceremony is the one that must pack her bags. Chelsea picks James, then its Lauren/Ryan, Charté/Nate, Krista/Mike..haha, Rahim hasn't been picked yet. he sux. Tihidra picks rahim, but i think only because he was last available and she knew tanya wouldn't go for him. she'd be right..tanya goes for james. james must now choose between tanya and chelsea. james has too much of an owen wilson thing going on. he chooses chelsea, so tanya must room alone.
List of Amazing, Cont.
6)Tidisha admits to the girls that she only picked rahim because he was the last left.
7)we witness rahim begging tidisha not to put on pjs (after the group's underwear party). BEGGING.
8)mike grossly and creepily tries to make out with krista. ewwwww its so gross and such a line. yuck. crash and burn dude. don't mess with the virg.
9)chelsea's line is 'so you don't put out on the first night?' and is DENIED!
10) night vision shot of tanya, alone, rolling around in bed muttering "I want sex!!"
11)first an underwear party, and now a disco party turned stripper party? oh, paradise!
12)Amanda Byram mixes it up by announcing that no one can go without a roommate twice in a row, so tanya will be safe at the next ceremony. good for t, because she is about to start humping the furniture.
13) Chelsea and Ryan sneak off to make out. Then, to do it.
Ack! It's over! Until next week!!
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