Thursday, December 10, 2009

desperate housewives

because of my recent move, i had to start over with a new dvr box. i lost the 15+ movies i had recorded and several shows i didn't get to see since i was working crazy hours that last week in ny. usually when i have nothing to do, i'll watch whatever saved shows or movies i have. i rarely watched live tv. i don't really know what to do when i have to sit through commercial breaks. i never really used the hundreds of channels i had because i always had something prerecorded to get by on. however, the new dvr put an end to that.

not only was i starting with a clean slate, i had also recently begun a new way of life in which i don't waste time on things i don't really care about. i cut the amount of tv shows i tried to watch weekly by a pretty good percentage. now the only shows i watch are the ones i can't wait to see. because of this, usually everything i record nightly gets watched that night. sometimes i'll save a show or two to get me through the next day, but no longer will i have a backup of 60+ shows. literally that will no longer happen because my current dvr has about 25% capacity that my last did. so that also keeps me in check.

anyway, all of this preface is to get to this show i recently discovered since i have been forced to watch tv live these days. i remember someone once mentioning it in passing (christine maybe?), so when i was bored and flipping through the guide a while ago, i decided to give it a shot. The show, called "Snapped", is about normal, everyday women that one day SNAP and KILL...usually their husbands. it's kind of fascinating, if unnecessarily graphic at times, to watch these stories. especially when you take into consideration the yarns these women spin to make it seem like the death was "an accident" or "a surprise".

that first night i discovered it, i think they played three episodes in a row (some are half an hour, others are an hour long). whenever i found myself searching through the guide, i found that i would usually put it on Snapped if it was on. and it was on a lot. then, about a week ago, they had a snapped marathon. all day, all snapped. i thought to myself "damn, where'd they find all these killer womenz?" again today, i find myself watching a mini marathon of snapped episodes and what comes on but a commercial for the new year's eve Snappedfest -- another full day marathon of Snapped episodes. this started to concern me when i realized that this show isn't on the True Crime channel or A&E like i thought, but actually on Oxygen. is it a little disconcerting to anyone else that the channel that caters mostly to housewives is CONSTANTLY playing a show about how women killed their husbands and almost got away with it?

greetings from the wasteland

in my thorough investigation of the internets, i have left many an abandoned site username in my wake. usually i really don't sign up for accounts for things unless i know i'm going to use it (or unless it seems like it's something i have to do for whatever i'm trying to get accomplished in that minute). recently, i've realized just how long and random that trail is. various websites like knockknock (which i signed up for to buy my brother an awesome set of novelty cards that were never delivered), world of pop (when i was really into entertainment weekly/vh1's pop culture trivia contests), and emode (we all did those quizzes to pass the time) all have logins attributed to one of my emails even though i haven't been to those sites in years. then there are the sites i used to be on religiously, like friendster, that i should really just close out instead of leaving loose web ends.

one such site is of course myspace. i used to be a strong myspace defender (over facebook) until facebook finally won me over. the sparkly holiday banners and random gifs would almost result in epileptic seizures if i didn't close the window quick enough. but the account is still there because there are some people (...musicians...) who insist on continuing to use it, so i keep it open just in case. i usually hate signing on even just to reject friend requests because in the five minutes you are signed on, you get five more random friend requests. but alas, one of those aforementioned musician friends recently sent me a message telling me he misses me, so i had to sign on in to respond.

i was able to make a quick getaway once the message was responded to, but not before seeing another message. this message was not from anyone i've ever known. the contents of the message were thus:

"we should makeout. lol."

i think...first of all...if you are going to be so bold as to message a random stranger proposing a makeout, you should own it completely and not second guess yourself with an lol. second of all, people need to stop just putting lol after sentences. i went to the store lol! i bought some milk lol! the expiration date is in a week and a half lol!! and third of all...whaaaaatt?

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

santas all around

can you imagine being an old white man whose personal preference is the full-bodied beard? this look -- old man with beard -- is a pretty basic non-fancy look to sport, but if you are fat and your hair is white, you are automatically santa. even if you are just trying to live your life, you are santa. so, are these guys that choose to rock a full, snowy white beard in their twilight years doing so with full knowledge and not a care in the world that they are rocking the santa look? does it even cross their minds? do they know that i grew up in hawaii, so even if it is not wintertime and i see an old red-faced man with white hair and a white beard wearing a flower print shirt and some khaki shorts it makes me think "HAWAIIAN SANTA!!!"?

Monday, December 07, 2009

phone conversations with my mother

me: today is bianca's birthday.
mom: how old is she?
me: um...let's see, i'm 27--
mom: --YOU'RE 27?! i thought you were--- someone just asked me how old you were and i told them 26 but then i was like 'maybe she's 25'.
me: ...
mom: i can't believe you're 27. you're old!
me: ...and ricky's 30, so that means bianca is 29.

is this endearing or should i worry that my mother is losing it?