I'm watching arrested development as I unpack and it may be one of the best ideas I've ever had. The episode that's playing while I tackle the kitchen is the one in which Lucille crashed the car, but put Michael in the driver's seat to make it look like it was his fault. And they keep mentioning that a bump in the back of the head causes short-term memory loss.
This reminds me (but vaguely and fuzzily) about a tidbit from that car accident I was in several years ago. I remember trying to deduce what caused my head injury. And since I was wading through some pretty severe short term memory loss of my own, this was like a fun game of Clue.
The evidence I had were my busted sunglasses, bent on one side (but not the side the window was on), the book en espanol I was reading on the journey, cover now torn, and the lunchbox. Ah, the lunchbox. One of those harmless 80's plastic boxes that came with matching thermos. That lunchbox was residing on the space over the shoulders of the backseat. And since my seatmate got the force of the rear windshield in her back upon impact, I'm assuming that I got the force of the 'box nailed into the back of my noggin. The lunchbox contained our first aid kit. Between that and how the seatbelt-wearing may have screwed my back up for life, I'm beginning to lose my trust in safety.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone, suckas!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Saturday, November 07, 2009
I promise I'm not a threat
This week I drove about 2,500 miles around the country with my bestie without incident (well...one very very minor incident). No speeding tickets, no crashes, no murdered animals (though an idiot possum nearly lost his life to our front left tire), no gas station abductions in Mississippi. Then David headed on his way back to New York and I on my 500 mile solo journey from oklahoma back to Austin. And on my first full day with my brand new car, I got pulled over by a texas state trooper.
Now before you have a heart attack, I wasn't speeding. However, in my twelve years of driving, I have never been pulled over. Not in Hawaii, not when I was manhandling fifteen passenger vans in New York...never. So I was cursing myself out even though I knew that I wasn't speeding. Well, as it turns out, I better brush up on my Texas state driving handbook before getting a Texas license because I was pulled over for a rule I didn't know about -- not moving to the left lane when passing a cop who has pulled over somebody else. I even ALMOST did this. I considered moving to the left as I laughed at the guy who was probably pulled over for speeding, but I was in an area littered with signs saying the left lane was for passing only and didn't want the patrolman to get me for being in the wrong lane. Dummy.
The patrolman was very nice, he explained why he pulled me over and I very innocently told him I had just moved here and was unfamiliar with that particular law. He asked where I moved from and I told him New York. "New York? Not Oklahoma?" he says. My plates that I had just gotten earlier in the day were Oklahoma plates. "Well, my dad lives in oklahoma, and he got me this car." He asked where I was headed and I told him austin. He asked if I was a student and I said no. He then asked for my insurance card and license. This is when I hand over my Hawaii driver's license, to which he exclaims "Hawaii?!". Great, I have now given this guy four different places where I am supposedly from. I'm surprised he didn't cuff me right there for being shifty. We make more conversation about how my life journey has taken me these places and then he tells me he's going to let me off with a warning. Luv him.
So, for my first cop experience, I think it was as painless as it could have been. However, it was pretty much the least bad ass thing I could've been pulled over for, and may ruin my street cred. Also, I really think the only reason he was able to catch up with me was because the car my dad bought me is fire engine red which just screams "I dare you to find me again, oh wait I'm right here."
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone, suckas!
Now before you have a heart attack, I wasn't speeding. However, in my twelve years of driving, I have never been pulled over. Not in Hawaii, not when I was manhandling fifteen passenger vans in New York...never. So I was cursing myself out even though I knew that I wasn't speeding. Well, as it turns out, I better brush up on my Texas state driving handbook before getting a Texas license because I was pulled over for a rule I didn't know about -- not moving to the left lane when passing a cop who has pulled over somebody else. I even ALMOST did this. I considered moving to the left as I laughed at the guy who was probably pulled over for speeding, but I was in an area littered with signs saying the left lane was for passing only and didn't want the patrolman to get me for being in the wrong lane. Dummy.
The patrolman was very nice, he explained why he pulled me over and I very innocently told him I had just moved here and was unfamiliar with that particular law. He asked where I moved from and I told him New York. "New York? Not Oklahoma?" he says. My plates that I had just gotten earlier in the day were Oklahoma plates. "Well, my dad lives in oklahoma, and he got me this car." He asked where I was headed and I told him austin. He asked if I was a student and I said no. He then asked for my insurance card and license. This is when I hand over my Hawaii driver's license, to which he exclaims "Hawaii?!". Great, I have now given this guy four different places where I am supposedly from. I'm surprised he didn't cuff me right there for being shifty. We make more conversation about how my life journey has taken me these places and then he tells me he's going to let me off with a warning. Luv him.
So, for my first cop experience, I think it was as painless as it could have been. However, it was pretty much the least bad ass thing I could've been pulled over for, and may ruin my street cred. Also, I really think the only reason he was able to catch up with me was because the car my dad bought me is fire engine red which just screams "I dare you to find me again, oh wait I'm right here."
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone, suckas!
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Jitters
I'm two-thirds of the way through
my transition from New York to Austin and it's weirding me out how eerily calm I am about this. The day I left my college after graduation I cried the whole half hour drive to the hotel, then continued to cry in my mother's lap the rest of the night, falling asleep there like a big pussy. I was expecting probably something similar or a little more mature this time. After all, everything I know and love - aside from my family and my homestate - is in New York. To be honest, there was one night I had a soft cry and I'll leave you all to think it was the night I hung out with you that that happened (but really it was the night I hung out with you). Other than that, I'm aware that I'm sad about leaving a list of things, but it's been pretty okay. Every once in a while when I'm the one driving I kind of realize I'm not going back to New York and I panic a little. I'm still expecting it to sink in more eventually, but I also feel like all signs point to me making the right decision here.
Weird. Sorry. I'll try not to do more serious times here.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone, suckas!
my transition from New York to Austin and it's weirding me out how eerily calm I am about this. The day I left my college after graduation I cried the whole half hour drive to the hotel, then continued to cry in my mother's lap the rest of the night, falling asleep there like a big pussy. I was expecting probably something similar or a little more mature this time. After all, everything I know and love - aside from my family and my homestate - is in New York. To be honest, there was one night I had a soft cry and I'll leave you all to think it was the night I hung out with you that that happened (but really it was the night I hung out with you). Other than that, I'm aware that I'm sad about leaving a list of things, but it's been pretty okay. Every once in a while when I'm the one driving I kind of realize I'm not going back to New York and I panic a little. I'm still expecting it to sink in more eventually, but I also feel like all signs point to me making the right decision here.
Weird. Sorry. I'll try not to do more serious times here.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone, suckas!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
I'll treat you right
I know I've been super absent recently. I'm in the middle of moving my entire life halfway across the country and working full-time and trying to say goodbyes and clear my dvr but gah! there's not enough time. I did get this handy blogger app for my phone, which I didn't know existed until recently, so I'll try to be better. I'll treat you right babies. Just wait for me.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone, suckas!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone, suckas!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
my chariot awaits
Meet my new car! Ain't she (or he) kyeut?
this baby is currently chilling in Oklahoma waiting to carry me the last leg of my NY to Austin road trip and she is sitting there without a name.
I always figured I'd probably want to name a car, but never actually thought I'd have to do it. I've never been good at naming. I was a joint contributor for beagle Ben and cat Einstein, but other animals were named by others. Beyond that, I've named a few iPods-- two of which have the same name (albeit separated by a II) and I have one name prepared for a daughter (I'm screwed beyond that).
I considered not naming it because, well...you know it doesn't really need one...but it wouldn't be polite to get inside this lady without knowing her name first. ifyouknowwhatimean.
SO I thought I'd get someone else to name it in our first ever Car Naming Contest!!!!! Enter by submitting your suggestion in the comments (duh). Enter as many names as you want. If somebody else doesn't pick this car's name, I'll probably end up calling it Putt Putt. Whoever wins gets the first makeout with me in the backseat, (unless we are related..then i will select a different prize) but your trip to Texas is at your own expense.
this baby is currently chilling in Oklahoma waiting to carry me the last leg of my NY to Austin road trip and she is sitting there without a name.
I always figured I'd probably want to name a car, but never actually thought I'd have to do it. I've never been good at naming. I was a joint contributor for beagle Ben and cat Einstein, but other animals were named by others. Beyond that, I've named a few iPods-- two of which have the same name (albeit separated by a II) and I have one name prepared for a daughter (I'm screwed beyond that).
I considered not naming it because, well...you know it doesn't really need one...but it wouldn't be polite to get inside this lady without knowing her name first. ifyouknowwhatimean.
SO I thought I'd get someone else to name it in our first ever Car Naming Contest!!!!! Enter by submitting your suggestion in the comments (duh). Enter as many names as you want. If somebody else doesn't pick this car's name, I'll probably end up calling it Putt Putt. Whoever wins gets the first makeout with me in the backseat, (unless we are related..then i will select a different prize) but your trip to Texas is at your own expense.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
paper bag chronicles
alright guys. here's the deal. this is the 700th post (wee!) and sadly, i think it's been at least a hundy since we've seen becca around these parts. i had this big plan for the 700th post, but it might take a little more time than i originally thought. and sometimes i can't say all i need to say in a 140 character tweet. and shit, i got stories to tell. so whenever the original 700th post ends up happening, we'll make a big deal of it. cool?
even though i'm not as hardcore as some of the other earth lovers out there, i do my best to cut my waste down. i recycle and reuse stuff as much as i can. whenever i go to the grocery store, i take a plastic bag full of plastic bags to deposit in their handy little plastic bag recycler. my point is, i make an effort.
this job that i started two and a half weeks ago (and any production job, really) gives me enough financial comfort where i feel i can do things like, say, eat breakfast. so on my way in, i get a fried egg and cheese (and turkey bacon, bitches!!) or a lil yogurt/granoley, or some sort of cream cheese doohicky, and every time they give me a bag. they are too quick for me to turn it down. the same thing happens at lunch. so i'm getting all these bags, and i don't want to throw them away. they're perfectly good bags. i can save them for when i have kids that are old enough that i need to pack their lunches in brown bags. (you think i'm kidding. you don't know how much stuff i save 'just in case' my future kids need it.) so i started saving these brown bags on the corner of my desk.
before i go on, let me drop some info bombs on y'all. i sit on the farthest side of the office, with a luxury bathroom view. every time someone needs to use the toilet, they need to pass me. (and everytime they need to drop a deuce, i get the first air freshener whiff.) also, every time they pass my computer, there's a good chance they get a glimpse of something i'm researching for work, which in these past few weeks have included photos of lynchings. add to this loner skinhead status that belch that i forgot to put the silencer on for, plus my corner stack of paper bags and i'm probably quite the weirdo.
my original goal in saving the first 5 or so bags was to take them out with me and just offer them to reuse instead of being given a new one. this method was problematic for several reasons. number one -- bags on the corner of my desk don't help when i'm getting breakfast on my way into the office. number two - when i would go out for lunch, i would take only my phone and my wallet, and would constantly forget to bring a bag with me. ONCE. once i remembered and i felt like the greatest little earth saver.
this brings us to today. today i felt like i wanted to make extra effort to make my bag dreams come true. i had even remembered to put a handful (i probably have about twenty at this point) in my bag so that i would have something for the way in. well, missed my shot at breakfast time because i skipped that meal today. as i'm leaving to get lunch, i surprise myself and remember to take my shoulder bag with me, knowing that i just put brown bags in it the night before. i head out and pick up a sandwich. the lady offers me a bag and i say 'no thank you! i came packing'. i grab my shit and turn around to pull out a little bag and see that my bag is empty. in all my wisdom, i took the handful of bags out at my apartment last night (i guess to put them in the Future Children's Belongings pile). so i just shove the sandwich in my shoulder bag and head to a bodega to get a beverage.
as i'm pulling change out of my pocket to pay for the chicka cherry cola, the too fast for me bodega lady has already slid my bottle into a bag and moved on to the next. why i didn't just give the bag back, we'll never know. but i took it. so on a journey that i should've had negative bags, i STILL ended up with one extra.
oh also, another time i had gotten some turkey chili and the girl offered a bag. i said no and she was all 'it's really hot. you're gonna need a bag'. why is the world against me saving it?!?!
even though i'm not as hardcore as some of the other earth lovers out there, i do my best to cut my waste down. i recycle and reuse stuff as much as i can. whenever i go to the grocery store, i take a plastic bag full of plastic bags to deposit in their handy little plastic bag recycler. my point is, i make an effort.
this job that i started two and a half weeks ago (and any production job, really) gives me enough financial comfort where i feel i can do things like, say, eat breakfast. so on my way in, i get a fried egg and cheese (and turkey bacon, bitches!!) or a lil yogurt/granoley, or some sort of cream cheese doohicky, and every time they give me a bag. they are too quick for me to turn it down. the same thing happens at lunch. so i'm getting all these bags, and i don't want to throw them away. they're perfectly good bags. i can save them for when i have kids that are old enough that i need to pack their lunches in brown bags. (you think i'm kidding. you don't know how much stuff i save 'just in case' my future kids need it.) so i started saving these brown bags on the corner of my desk.
before i go on, let me drop some info bombs on y'all. i sit on the farthest side of the office, with a luxury bathroom view. every time someone needs to use the toilet, they need to pass me. (and everytime they need to drop a deuce, i get the first air freshener whiff.) also, every time they pass my computer, there's a good chance they get a glimpse of something i'm researching for work, which in these past few weeks have included photos of lynchings. add to this loner skinhead status that belch that i forgot to put the silencer on for, plus my corner stack of paper bags and i'm probably quite the weirdo.
my original goal in saving the first 5 or so bags was to take them out with me and just offer them to reuse instead of being given a new one. this method was problematic for several reasons. number one -- bags on the corner of my desk don't help when i'm getting breakfast on my way into the office. number two - when i would go out for lunch, i would take only my phone and my wallet, and would constantly forget to bring a bag with me. ONCE. once i remembered and i felt like the greatest little earth saver.
this brings us to today. today i felt like i wanted to make extra effort to make my bag dreams come true. i had even remembered to put a handful (i probably have about twenty at this point) in my bag so that i would have something for the way in. well, missed my shot at breakfast time because i skipped that meal today. as i'm leaving to get lunch, i surprise myself and remember to take my shoulder bag with me, knowing that i just put brown bags in it the night before. i head out and pick up a sandwich. the lady offers me a bag and i say 'no thank you! i came packing'. i grab my shit and turn around to pull out a little bag and see that my bag is empty. in all my wisdom, i took the handful of bags out at my apartment last night (i guess to put them in the Future Children's Belongings pile). so i just shove the sandwich in my shoulder bag and head to a bodega to get a beverage.
as i'm pulling change out of my pocket to pay for the chicka cherry cola, the too fast for me bodega lady has already slid my bottle into a bag and moved on to the next. why i didn't just give the bag back, we'll never know. but i took it. so on a journey that i should've had negative bags, i STILL ended up with one extra.
oh also, another time i had gotten some turkey chili and the girl offered a bag. i said no and she was all 'it's really hot. you're gonna need a bag'. why is the world against me saving it?!?!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Twitter Me This
Well now I've gone and done it. I finally caved to the pressures of society and this ever-changing internet universe and gotten myself a twitter account. i have spent weeks agonizing with this decision, and i figured i was going to do it at some point, might as well just git 'er done. so, i've rationalized it in as many ways as i can think of. i am approaching it not as a way to tell everyone about every aspect of my personal business, but more as an outlet for things i don't feel like writing an entire 140+ character blog about. also, next week i'm going to try an experiment of sorts. Instead of the Reality Corner recaps, I'm going to instead try live "twittering" ("tweeting"? i don't know the lingo yet. call me an old lady, but i actually watched their how-to video. i didn't want to come off as "uncool" to the "twittering masses"). Next week's Top Model will be the guinea pig. so if you're on and interested, you can follow me @pudepaw. there's also a little box on the right side of this blog with recent tweets if you don't feel like signing up.
also, a side note. there might be a little bit of a delay in posting for a little while. i'm trying to coordinate something to happen, i just don't know exactly when it will. so, if you need your fix, twitter will probably be your best bet for now.
also, a side note. there might be a little bit of a delay in posting for a little while. i'm trying to coordinate something to happen, i just don't know exactly when it will. so, if you need your fix, twitter will probably be your best bet for now.
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