Wednesday, October 28, 2009

I'll treat you right

I know I've been super absent recently. I'm in the middle of moving my entire life halfway across the country and working full-time and trying to say goodbyes and clear my dvr but gah! there's not enough time. I did get this handy blogger app for my phone, which I didn't know existed until recently, so I'll try to be better. I'll treat you right babies. Just wait for me.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone, suckas!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

my chariot awaits

Meet my new car! Ain't she (or he) kyeut?

this baby is currently chilling in Oklahoma waiting to carry me the last leg of my NY to Austin road trip and she is sitting there without a name.

I always figured I'd probably want to name a car, but never actually thought I'd have to do it. I've never been good at naming. I was a joint contributor for beagle Ben and cat Einstein, but other animals were named by others. Beyond that, I've named a few iPods-- two of which have the same name (albeit separated by a II) and I have one name prepared for a daughter (I'm screwed beyond that).

I considered not naming it because, know it doesn't really need one...but it wouldn't be polite to get inside this lady without knowing her name first. ifyouknowwhatimean.

SO I thought I'd get someone else to name it in our first ever Car Naming Contest!!!!! Enter by submitting your suggestion in the comments (duh). Enter as many names as you want. If somebody else doesn't pick this car's name, I'll probably end up calling it Putt Putt. Whoever wins gets the first makeout with me in the backseat, (unless we are related..then i will select a different prize) but your trip to Texas is at your own expense.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

paper bag chronicles

alright guys. here's the deal. this is the 700th post (wee!) and sadly, i think it's been at least a hundy since we've seen becca around these parts. i had this big plan for the 700th post, but it might take a little more time than i originally thought. and sometimes i can't say all i need to say in a 140 character tweet. and shit, i got stories to tell. so whenever the original 700th post ends up happening, we'll make a big deal of it. cool?

even though i'm not as hardcore as some of the other earth lovers out there, i do my best to cut my waste down. i recycle and reuse stuff as much as i can. whenever i go to the grocery store, i take a plastic bag full of plastic bags to deposit in their handy little plastic bag recycler. my point is, i make an effort.

this job that i started two and a half weeks ago (and any production job, really) gives me enough financial comfort where i feel i can do things like, say, eat breakfast. so on my way in, i get a fried egg and cheese (and turkey bacon, bitches!!) or a lil yogurt/granoley, or some sort of cream cheese doohicky, and every time they give me a bag. they are too quick for me to turn it down. the same thing happens at lunch. so i'm getting all these bags, and i don't want to throw them away. they're perfectly good bags. i can save them for when i have kids that are old enough that i need to pack their lunches in brown bags. (you think i'm kidding. you don't know how much stuff i save 'just in case' my future kids need it.) so i started saving these brown bags on the corner of my desk.

before i go on, let me drop some info bombs on y'all. i sit on the farthest side of the office, with a luxury bathroom view. every time someone needs to use the toilet, they need to pass me. (and everytime they need to drop a deuce, i get the first air freshener whiff.) also, every time they pass my computer, there's a good chance they get a glimpse of something i'm researching for work, which in these past few weeks have included photos of lynchings. add to this loner skinhead status that belch that i forgot to put the silencer on for, plus my corner stack of paper bags and i'm probably quite the weirdo.

my original goal in saving the first 5 or so bags was to take them out with me and just offer them to reuse instead of being given a new one. this method was problematic for several reasons. number one -- bags on the corner of my desk don't help when i'm getting breakfast on my way into the office. number two - when i would go out for lunch, i would take only my phone and my wallet, and would constantly forget to bring a bag with me. ONCE. once i remembered and i felt like the greatest little earth saver.

this brings us to today. today i felt like i wanted to make extra effort to make my bag dreams come true. i had even remembered to put a handful (i probably have about twenty at this point) in my bag so that i would have something for the way in. well, missed my shot at breakfast time because i skipped that meal today. as i'm leaving to get lunch, i surprise myself and remember to take my shoulder bag with me, knowing that i just put brown bags in it the night before. i head out and pick up a sandwich. the lady offers me a bag and i say 'no thank you! i came packing'. i grab my shit and turn around to pull out a little bag and see that my bag is empty. in all my wisdom, i took the handful of bags out at my apartment last night (i guess to put them in the Future Children's Belongings pile). so i just shove the sandwich in my shoulder bag and head to a bodega to get a beverage.
as i'm pulling change out of my pocket to pay for the chicka cherry cola, the too fast for me bodega lady has already slid my bottle into a bag and moved on to the next. why i didn't just give the bag back, we'll never know. but i took it. so on a journey that i should've had negative bags, i STILL ended up with one extra.

oh also, another time i had gotten some turkey chili and the girl offered a bag. i said no and she was all 'it's really hot. you're gonna need a bag'. why is the world against me saving it?!?!