Monday, February 11, 2008

help me stupid responds to Friendless Fighter!

Dear Friendless Fighter,

Well I suppose it comes as no surprise that people in a fighting class are mean! right? Although, I can't imagine anyone giving little old you a tude! here are a few surefire boxing class newbies vs. oldies friendship making strategies:

1.Normally the one surefire way to make even the most standoffish jerk crumble is a nice 12 pack of dunkin donuts for the group....but in this case i'm not all that sure that my method would work, since everyone in your boxing class is probably trying to watch their figure. so my solution is to buy everyone (even the newbies in your class) a juice box of muscle milk!
2. Judging by the classes I've taken at gyms and such....the turnover rate is rather high. So in about six months you'll most likely be one of the "seasoned vets" thumbing their collective noses at the newbies.

3. I would normally tell you not to resort to physical violence when it comes to solving problems, however this a boxing class. So if all else fails, knock a few of their teeth out*.

Your welcome loser!


*New York State Law states that I am not responsible if your gym membership gets revoked by using this technique.


Friendless Fighter said...

Thanks Stupid! This is surely sage advice. I know i will either have lots of friends soon, or lots of toothless classmates. either way, i look forward to 6 months from now, when i will be a seasoned vet. it'll be like my very own real world/road rules gauntlet. thanks again!

Ricky said...

i think you should tear the throat of the the alpha wolf. then all the follower wolves will respect your power.

littlejeans said...

Muscle Milk... ahhhhh!