Sunday, March 02, 2008

WRC: ANTM - New York is SO Homeless!!

Here we are in New York City with 14 bitches...that is, one bitch too many. how will this ever be corrected?! kim gloats about how special she feels considering how many other girls would kill for her spot. note this for later. amy officially informs us that her new name is Amis. here's how you remember it - it rhymes with anus.

the girls go to their new digs. they are shocked to learn there are only two bedrooms; one bedroom has (not enough) bunk beds and the other has a giant tila tequila-style bed for multiple occupants. welcome to new york, sluts, two things you should know -- our bedrooms are few and we like to get freaky.

Ok, let's step aside for a minute...because i don't want ya'll to think i'm belittling fatima's (eek) circumcision or marvita's rape, buuut i swear if it comes up every episode, i'm gonna be pissed. and if there is a constant battle between the two over who has had a worse life, then i'm gonna hate them both quick. i hate fatima's unstraightened hair already. and i think she might be a sociopath.

atalya interviews that she's never really been away from home before. hon, you're from brooklyn. this...doesn't count.

the girls are taken on a tour of nyc and dumped in times square for an impromptu badgley mischka fashion show. let me tell you who sucked: marvita, amis, and lauren. ok, then we go back to the house and meet the stupidest thing yet..tyra mail this cycle is on a scrolling marquee thing that scrolls way too slow and all the girls read along like this is 1st grade morning circle time. this is going to get eye stabbingly annoying.

paulina poroskova (aka the new judge) meets the girls at elite to have a practice round of being the mean judge. she tells amis she has bad skin and dominique that she's a transvestite. (at least paulina's honest.) god anya is annoying. i'll tell you who i love though -- Claire. i am on team claire. she's gonna take this competition. i'm also starting to like aimee, but i need more time to feel her out. a giant suv limo cab picks the girls up and A) tyra, how dare you put that monstrosity on the streets of new york and B) guess you don't care about going green anymore.

photoshoot - the girls are posing with homeless people. they will be dressed as homeless and the homeless in high fashion. welcome to new york, a third thing you should know is that we have homeless people. lots of 'em. fatima and marvita have a talk out so marvita can stop being paranoid about fatima's desire to crush her. fatima admits she put up a tough facade because she doesn't want to get walked all over. don't turn sideways. marvita brings up the rape and molestation AGAIN (no disrespect) but fatima amazingly hadn't yet heard about this. friends 4ever!!!11!

kim..i don't know if kim understands what modeling is. or this competition for that matter. won't matter.

paulina is introduced as the new judge and dominique is all "shit". Tyra says "about a year ago, on my talk show, The Tyra Banks Show, I was homeless." One, did she really say "on my talk show, the Tyra Banks show" and 2 -- you were not homeless. nor were you ever grotesquely fat. dressing up for 3 hours does not make you experience suffering equal to these people who live thier lives like this day in and day out.

lauren, anya, aimee, fatima, dominique, whitney, marvita, katarzyna, claire, and stacey ann turn out decent to great pics. Amis, Allison, and Atalya do not. kim comes up for her eval, the judges make fun of her outfit, miss j brings up kim's disinterest at the fashion show, kim says again how she doesn't agree with high fashion, tyra scolds kim for taking a spot while 6 girls were left crying (here we see video footage of the crying girls. hard-hitting), kim says she's just being honest, tyra says 'do you wanna just go home?', kim says "yeah" (!!!), tyra says "bitch, go home." After she left, tyra says it's sad because her pic was beautiful. man i called kim as an early out, but this was a wonderful surprise. tyra voices over that they're still eliminating someone. claire is covergirl of the week. yes! it starts. anya is called first, claire second, and everyone else til we're at amis and atalya. atalya is boring and not memorable and amis doesn't have a clue. atalya gets the boot. thank god i kicked her off my team to make room for awesome claire. i wonder if they just gave her a metrocard to go home with. next week, i think amis and stacey ann might be in trouble. maybe allison, but i'm not ready to kick her off my team yet. also, MAKEOVERS!!!

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