We here at Cooler than Stupid know that last year, a few readers were enlightened with the st. patty's tradition i shared. in order to keep on spreading the word of the pinch, allow me to repost last year's st. patrick's day tale.
Pinch Me! It can't be true!
i've recently discovered something horrific, which resulted in me conducting a survey. This all started yesterday when i was im'ing my friend. I was saying something to the effect of 'i wish this weekend were a regular weekend because i don't want to deal with having to wear green and pinching and people throwing up everywhere.' To which my friend (New Jersey) responded "pinching??" I couldn't believe she had no idea what i was talking about, so i im another friend of mine. i reiterate the story to her and just as i'm about to say something like 'can you BELIEVE she doesn't know about the pinching?!', friend #2 (Massachussetts) says "pinching?!?" and I flip out again. So at this point, I determine that it's time to get some answers. I im another friend (New Jersey) and I turn around to the coworker behind me (New Jersey) and say "what happens when you don't wear green on St. Patrick's Day?" Both respond: "i don't know, what?". At this point my mind is being blown, because a good portion of my childhood was made up of fear of forgetting st. patrick's day, forgetting to wear green, and spending the entire day getting pinched. So i google the words "green st. patrick's pinch" and a page of results comes up that proves to me that i'm not delusional or creating some sort of fairy world with fantasy memories. After this, I run to the next nearest coworker and i say "what happens when you don't wear green on St. Patrick's Day?" She (Florida) responds "you get pinched!" I thank my lucky stars at this that i am not alone. you see, this weirds me out so much because i grew up in approximately three different places (germany, texas and hawaii) and this tradition existed in all of them. So i figured it was pretty much a known thing that happens, and the fact that i'd already encountered four people that didn't know what the hell i was talking about made my whole world as i knew it fall apart. When i got home for the day, i asked my two roommates what happens on St. Patrick's day when you don't wear green. Oregon said "you get pinched!" and new hampshire said "you get slapped in the face?" (she can be violent sometimes). So, now i guess i'm taking this time to educate the northeasterners and anyone else who doesn't know about the pinching. it's unfair that the rest of the world grew up fearing st. patty's day -- fearing the assholes that would tell you it's not the right shade of green, or the jerks who said that it wasn't enough green (or that the green on your underwear doesn't count), and loving the teachers that would have clovers cut out of construction paper to pin on the kiddies that forgot in order to lessen the amount of violence going down on this oh so irish holiday. I hope some people learned a lesson today, and I hope those people will promptly forget about it after drinking themselves into a slushy puddle on the curb.