Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Help Me Stupid Responds!

Dear Sleepy as Shit in the City,

My oh my, are you preaching to the choir here. As you mentioned, it's wonderful to have more light in the day, however Daylight Savings Time can really fuck one's life up, especially for those of us that originally hail from a state where they don't partake in this clock switching activity. I know I personally have been walking around like a Zombie Stripper ever since I was pleased at myself for finishing a project at 2 am, and then one second later it was 3 am. Let me share with you some words of advice and some helpful tips that work out well for me.

First and foremost, don't keep last week's night hours and this week's day hours. This results in a one hour loss of sleep. Also, while it's easy to say "Oh, it's 2am right now, but REALLY it's 1am" when you're going to bed, it does not work as well when you stroll into your office an hour late and use that line on your boss.

Secondly, I recommend getting at least 11 - 13 hours of sleep per night, to make sure you're fully rested, and don't forget to take a multivitamin every morning.

I find that keeping a chafing tray full of hot water in front of your keyboard is a great deterrant for the sleepys. If you end up nodding off at your desk, the scalding water on your face will wake you up right quick*. I would also recommend hiring someone to run up to you at random intervals and surprise slap you. You should probably utilize this method only in dire situations, as these individuals charge by the hour. If all else fails, might I suggest Cocaine?


Hope this helps, you lazy slacker!


*cooler than stupid is not responsible for any burns suffered from employing this method.

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