Thursday, March 13, 2008

WRC: ANTM - Meat Panties

Previously: Tyra says mirror like "mirra", allison was ungrateful and tyra doesn't put up with that shit.

So, i didn't have my weekly top model party, which means that i haven't seen the episode yet and you get this from my eyes to my fingers. And you're in luck, because I'm deliriously tired!!! hopefully, this will make up for the tardiness of my previous antm post.

dominique immediately starts talking smack like, after they leave panel. the panel at which she was just in the bottom two. i'm also over any pretty she may have had. lauren, i'm also way tired of your awkward girl storyline. i just now realize that marvita doesn't so much have a horse-do, but more of a mullet. a horsey one for sure. and you can throw the word 'fashion' in front of 'mullet', but you're still left with a mullet. over a montage of the girls practicing their walks (in slutty firemen outfits), we hear miss jay say 'strength! power!' hey! that's what we say in boxing too! we aaaare the wooorld.

i thoroughly despise fatima, and i think she might be in trouble this week. why is amis such a tard? like...really? So, Dominique's hair is now the color Tyra wanted. Nope, still fug.

the girls are gonna walk in a House of Tulah show. stupid Ann Shoket shows up with jaslene. they announce that the winner of the challenge will get to be in seventeen with jaslene. they must also do a quick change. stacey ann does well, whitney (they put the plus size in a bathing suit?! tyra you are taking this too far) showed boob, lauren was awkward (shocker), aimee was awesome, katarzyna looks like a mix between ginger spice and posh spice...that must be why i like her! Fatima sux. Dominique was a hot tranny mess. ditto for marvita. claire RULZ! anya..has no eyebrows. amis is such a goof. a dirty-faced fug goof. katarzyna wins and picks marvita and amis (fug and fugger) to be in the shoot with her. Smart girl. It will make her look even prettier. i think marvita may have a crush. lemme just take a moment to say that i didn't like marvita at first...but now that she's staying out of drama and acting like a child discovering a world that actually has nice people in it, she's growing on me. Lauren! You're awkward! You don't fit in! You know your way around the subway system and OF COURSE you live in williamsburg. WE GET IT.

the girls are taken to the meatpacking district, and champion meat packer jay manuel is there looking like a toasted marshmallow. oh lord. they're told they will be posing with hunks of meat and wearing meat. gross. anna nico--whitney, playing her plus size role to a t, says "I eat steak. It wouldn't bother me to like, put it on." of course it wouldn't. i think tyra was expecting more of a reaction from the girls. so what do we think? amis and fats in the bottom? by fats i mean fatima. Before we are led into panel, we see amis get up 15 minutes before they have to leave and "gets dressed'..if you can call it that...and she is lookin a mess. So we can definitely be sure amis is down there.

For some ungodly reason, tyra sings the entire judges' intro. it's no Shake ya body

Stacey ann was meh, whitney had a pretty great pic, aimee has...done better, katarzyna does well but needs to go further, fatima sux and has weird bottom teeth, anya unfortunately does great, claire rox, dominique has improved, lauren gets scolded for her (awkward) runway, but knocks the picture out of the park, amis' pic is meh but she states the obvi and says she covers her nerves with goof and costume. marvita -- paulina said it best "beautiful but unremarkable". Hey, just like Ramiele.

Claire! Cover Girl of the Week AGAIN! woo!!

Paulina and i are on the same wavelength about so much. this might be the start of a beautiful friendship.

anya wins the week, whitney is second and katarzyna is third. tyra makes sex noises to her. it's awkward for everyone. except tyra of course. everyone else follows until amis & fatima (cha-ching! i calls 'em like i sees 'em). Fatima stays because we all know that tyra does not stand for indifference. there's the worst voice over they've ever done (which is saying a lot) of tyra advising amis to stick with it but take it seriously. boring.

next week: i don't know! my dvr cut off the next ons.

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