Thursday, May 24, 2007

SRC: Idol Finale - STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS EDITION

RED CARPET SPECTACULAR - Yeah, I watched it. Jennifer Hudson -- this first thing this ridiculous Dorothy Lucey (plus one other nobody and someone who i think used to be jillian barberie) says to j. hud is "You're skinny!" Idiot. How did these 3 musketeers get this job? Things get awkward. They shuffle j. hud out of the way for simon. this is so awkward. god it would be awesome if jordin lost. just for the look on her face this will all be worth it. randy jackson is on fuckin' ecstasy. during blake's interview, randy, is basically like 'oh blake, you're gonna lose, but you'll definitely have a record out.' why is teri hatcher always on american idol? this is so awkward!! taylor hicks and teri hatcher should have a news show together. paula's like 'shut up about the nose!' 'NO i'm NOT in pain, i'm HIGH! weeeeeeeeeee!' also, she's turning into robin, founder of the pussycat dolls. zac efron's appearance is totally scripted. these jokers wouldn't have recognized him. and zac's not a great actor. Melinda!!! Ok, this crap is finally over. Onto the show!!
FINALE - HOUR 1 - 12:15am. Sanity Level 5 (10 is crazy)
Paula is WASTED! gwen stefani is all over idol too! was idol purchased by stefani and hatcher inc? kelly clarkson! golden idol awards! why? just make the show an hour. margaret fowler makes me so so sad. top 6 boys perform. who dat black boy? smoky! we have a guy that does our phone stuff at work named smokey. i wish you guys could see him. I wonder if doug e. fresh's kid trashed their greenroom. The song with him and blake was pretty cool. top 6 girls - why don't we see malinda until she introduces gladys knight? after the performance, melinda and gladys make out. i'm so nervous that tony bennett will have a heart attack during this performance. this amanda and antonelle package is hilarious!! clap for the special kid and the bush baby. oh melinda! i love you!! blake and jordin get mustangs. carrie underwood performs. we're 2 for 5 so far. what the shit is this bullshit award, CLIVE. stop wasting my time! hour: something, sanity level: 7. screaming african children just ran onstage. it was as though they've been storing these children behind that moving backdrop since idol gives back and now they've been released and are performing their song of freedom for us. ugh. why are we still giving sanjaya attention! i fall asleep in the middle of green day's performance and wake up right before the end of it, but i'm pretty sure the whole time i was sleeping, they were repeating the same line. taylor hicks comes out. 3 for 5. ruben, number 4, comes out with jordin for a duet because he's boring by himself. they should get together and have huge fucking babies. oh hey, bette midler. how old is she these days? the wind beneath paula's wings is oxycodone. jerry springer = '07's hasselhoff aka c to d level celebrity caught crying after a performance. God how LONG is this show? Surprise surprise, jordin wins. you can tell she's been practicing her surprised face all day.

ok that's all for this season of idol. thanks for reading!

2 comments:

ricky said...

this has been the best recap so far. i like how you teeter on the brink of insanity, because that was truly the Idol Finale experience. Can I refer you to the Idolator liveblogging of the event? It's worth reading:
http://idolator.com/tunes/idolator.s-american-idolatry/live+blogging-the-finale-part-ii-please-tell-us-that-we-make-you-proud-263096.php

Sara said...

thanks for that recommendation rick, i thoroughly enjoyed reading it. i was also happy to see idolator and i shared similar wtf moments. now can i refer YOU to the gilded moose's liveblogging of the event? it's worth it just to note how we all feel everything together: http://thegildedmoose.blogspot.com/2007/05/american-idol-final-finale-live-blog.html