SRC: Top Model - GIRLS WILL BE BOYS EDITION

Previously: Felicia was getting too cute, so Tyra sent her home.

We start with Natasha on the phone with the husband that picked her from a catalogue. She makes weird noises on the phone with him and there's also some meowing. Also, who knew she had a baby? Also, does the baby have a name? or is it "Baby"?

Later in the house, Whitney and Diana are talking about how great it is to have 2 plus size girls in the house. At this point, my roommate says one of them is going home. I not only agree, but predict that it will be down to the two of them.

Some model and some lady from Elite teach the girls how to dress. The girls then go to Sears to participate in a style challenge/get an application for a job should this modeling thing not work out. They break into groups of threes. My favorite reaction is from Dionne, who says "They told me my groupmates were Sarah and Renee, and I was like 'hmmmm...Sarah and Renee.'" Amen, Dionne. Life further sucks for D when she completely styles Sarah, but Sarah gets credit for it and wins the challenge. And never speaks up about it. I hate her even more now. The best thing she ever did was accurately compare Natasha to a used car salesman.

At the photo shoot, the girls are posing with dudes. But the dudes dress like girls and the girls dress like dudes.

JASLENE does great
BRITTANY looks like Will Forte
RENEE does aight
JAEL is hilarious
DIONNE looks like Chris Rock
SARAH is stupid
WHITNEY is boring
NATASHA is the most amazing thing here. I definitely give her props for how much studying she puts in
DIANA is boring.

Afterwards, Jay asks Diana why she wants to be ANTM and she puts the final nail in her coffin by responding "Just 'cause." I think she wanted to be there but she just wasn't articulate or maybe very smart. Like those kids from school that always got in trouble and would answer to their teachers with their heads hung saying 'just 'cause'.

As predicted, it's down to the chubs --Whitney and Diana. I personally think that Diana has more potential as a model than Whitney, but we all know that in the Top Model Universe, not wanting to be there trumps anything. So, Diana goes home. And Whitney will probably go next week.

SRC: Top 9!

After the quick recap of what went on during Tuesday's episode, Ryan gets down to business and starts to pick out the bottom 3. Phil is the first to get sent over, which i get ecstatic about. I didn't pick him to be there because i feel like he has a solid fan base, but i'm glad i was wrong. at this point, i figure then that chris richardson is safe. We move down and get to Sanjaya who is safe this week. So this means that he's not even in the bottom three. we're never going to get rid of him and Howard Stern and his cronies have effectively ruined this show. And allow me to rant about this for a few seconds because it really pisses me off. This isn't because i take the show too seriously because everyone knows that the singers that are talented and appealing to people will get their record deals and sell records and do wonderful things in life whether or not they win (jennifer hudson,katharine mcphee, chris daughtry, clay aiken, etc), but this is something that a large amount of the american television viewing audience enjoys and this whole vote for the worst crap is like the bully on the playground that hates himself and therefore doesn't want other people to have fun. and this kid. this poor 17 year old kid is the national punchline in this. he's the target for a nation full of jaded dudes and he doesn't know any better so he thinks he's doing great and really it's just everyone in the country is making fun of him to his face. he's gonna be some sort of drug addict in two years time if this keeps going on. it's like, if you hate the show and everything it stands for then just don't watch it. you don't have to try and destroy it and this poor kid's soul with it. especially because every week that boy is still there, i hate him more. and that's just irrational.

ok, enough of that. so, we move to haley and she's in the bottom three. and before we find out who rounds out the bottom 3, gwen stefani performs with akon. i heart gwen stefani and i love that akon showed up to do the "woos". we come back and it's down to sligh and gina. and i cross my fingers for my girl, especially because she did wonderfully last night. fortunately, sligh is the last in the bottom. They save phil (yet again) and send him back to the group, so it's between sligh and haley. i know neither will win, but i cross my fingers that haley will stick around at least another week. Sligh gets sent home and he's the first of the bottom 12 who actually has enough time to sing us out. which is unfortunate because tonight he's even worse than the performance show.

oh and can i just say that the arrangement and singing for those stupid ford commercials that everyone hates (but the idols are required to do) come off as though they are sung by and for the Kidz Bop crowd.

Next week: Tony Bennett (i think) and some cheesy songs i bet.

SRC: Top 10 Performances!!!

Sorry this is a little late today, i had some issues with my vcr last night and thus work has gotten in the way of my youtube viewing. heeeere we gooooo--

LAKISHA - Every time someone sings "Last Dance" on this show, they go home the next day... (see Ryan Starr, Brenna Gethers)... but Lakisha is pretty untouchable right now, and she is separated from those aforementioned two by the enormous amount of talent she possesses.

CHRIS SLIGH - I appreciate sarcasm and dry humor as much as the next guy, but Chris...maybe overdoes it. I'm growing tired of him for many reasons. Including his Pat-like hair.

GINA - I think this was a great week vocally for Gina and I continue to be a fan.

SANJAYA - I love how Gwen Stefani was all "this song is hard...Sanjaya sux...so...good luck with that." Man, I would not want to be hated by Gwen Stefani..and then proceed to ruin one of her songs. Sanjaya has a stupid pony'hawk. Ugh. Please just go.

HALEY - She's gorgeous, she's got a good voice, and she knows how to work those getaway sticks of hers...but she was a little boring this week.

NOSPHILATU - I swear to god Phil gets more and more eye makeup each week. He'd make a pretty lady. Regardless, he still creeps me out.

MELINDA - she's so damn cute and wonderful and i love her.

BLAKE - I was kind of bored during this performance but he looked so adorable!

JORDIN - I think Jordin is what Ugly Betty would look like after a makeover (not that america ferrera isn't a beautiful girl). I understand that she has a good voice, I personally am not a big fan of her singing style. And there's just something about her that's not winning me over.

CHRIS R - M'boy better not be in the bottom again. >:(

my guess for tonight's bottom three are Sanjaya, Chris Sligh, and Haley. If this crazy Sanjaya thing keeps going on, Chris R could be in the bottom as well.

anyone want to add anything??

Also, check out these ADORABLE HAND-HOLDING OTTERS OMG!:

party bike update!

when i was in times square last friday i saw a party bike! does this mean that they were not banned? Maybe the ban hasn't taken effect yet and i was lucky enough to witness one of the last occurances of the party bike in it's natural habitat...or maybe the bike driver just never got the memo.

SRC: Top Model - CRIMINAL EDITION

Renee realizes that everyone hates her and makes a decision to start being nice. Benny Ninja pulls the girls over dressed as the least convincing police officer there ever was and starts to vogue. Felicia is adorable. Diana is awkward. Brittany and Natasha make me uncomfortable. Dionne impresses me. Jael does her whole challenge with BJ face.

Back at the house, Jael burns her face with a curling iron (even though she has half an inch of hair). i love that drug addled weirdo.

At some sort of Tyra "Bank", Benny Ninja is wearing an illfitting onesie. seriously, this guy is worse off than nicole richie. The girls have to go all catherine zeta-jones on us by stealthily posing through beams of light. Benny demonstrates and of course he makes it through without triggering the buzzer because he's the one that sounds the buzzer. Some girls are good, some girls suck. It's hard to tell with all the cuts. Whitney wins.

Photo Shoot - Crime Scene Victim

RENEE - POISONED - Renee finally does a good job on her shoot. Also, she admitted to Jay that the girls hate her because she's a bitch - so at least she's aware. To me, her pic looks like she's thinking, not like she's dead.

JASLENE - PUSHED OFF A ROOF - stellar as always.

BRITTANY - ELECTROCUTED - ugh.

DIANA - STOLEN ORGANS - Diana is pretty, but I'm starting to think that's it.

SARAH - PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS - i still don't get it

JAEL - STRANGLED - It's mean that they did this shoot so soon after her friend died. Tyra sucks.

FELICIA - DECAPITATED - i thought hers was that her throat was slit. because it's not like her head was separate from her body or even hanging off. anywho, she didn't do great in the shoot. she was super confident in this episode and as soon as i saw that i was nervous for her.

WHITNEY - STABBED - I'm still not that impressed by her. She's kind of child-like sometimes too.

NATASHA - DROWNED - Natasha is so frickin weird and foreign. i love it.

DIONNE - SHOT IN THE HEAD - I'm still a big fan of D.

It comes down to Felicia and Dionne. I was bummed about this because I love them both. Dionne doesn't give them the impression of a model. Felicia was getting prettier than Tyra, so Tyra had her murdered. I mean booted. For the first time I can remember (i don't know if it's happened before) Tyra takes the time to say goodbye to Felicia and give her advice. Normally she dismisses them with a thank you. also, both plus sizes has lasted longer (probably) than other plus size girls of the past. this means tyra's making a statement this cycle.

SRC: Top 10

This week, Ryan told the kids in groups of three if they made up the bottom. Peter Noone performed and something that i thought was pretty amazing was when Ryan was introducing him, there was footage of Noone on the huge screen in the background that made him look like he is mildly retarded. it was him gaily clapping and doing hand movements, clearly in some sort of session with someone, but it was all very weird how it was placed and muted and in slo mo. Lulu performed one of my fave songs (to sir with love) and she's a little spitfire, isn't she? ryan went through three groups of three, telling them they were all safe. the last group of three consisted of Sanjaya, Gina, and Haley ..and i guarantee that was the idol producers wanting to trick america into thinking that was the bottom three since that's probably what everyone was guessing. i was onto them though, and as the three of them stood awaiting their fate, i frantically searched the group to see who hadn't stood, because by my count, two people hadn't been called and they definitely had to be in the bottom. I knew stephanie was one of them (and although it was sad, it wasn't much of a surprise for me). I couldn't figure out who the second person would be until ryan told him to stand up --- and america, what the fuck was chris richardson doing in the bottom two?!?!?!??! we need to rethink our priorities, assassinate anyone associated with votefortheworst, and get rid of the crying girl from the performance show who gives sanjaya the belief that he has fans and talent. because this season is gonna be the worst if we let the pranksters take over.

ps. stephanie went home this week.

SPRING Reality Corner Debut!!!! Top 11: Performances

This week, I'm going to type up my notes just as I wrote them. No amendments, no introductions or segues. Starting.......now:

Woah, ppl got HAIR-cuts!

forgetting lyrics last week -- ooh. ouch on brandon. wait, who?

Theme this week: British Invasion. Guests: Peter Noone (Herman's Hermits) for boys, Lulu for girls. I want to be best friends with this Lulu.

HALEY: Tell Him is one of my fave songs. Don't ruin it, Scarnato. Woah. Haley forgot her pants and brought her stripper shoes. That'll get her votes.

CHRIS R: Peter Noone hates Chris. Da-yum. I don't like this "moustache" he's "growing". He reminds me of the cheshire cat with it. Paula wants to fuck him. Amen. ...Ryan does too.

STEPHANIE: This could be amayzing. ...but it wasn't. What's happenin', Savannah?

--something weird happens here with ryan and a phone and a weird yelp.

BLAKE: Peter Noone looks like a small guy wearing a big mascot head and shoulder pads. I love this song. The only thing that bothers me about Blake is the way he moves his mouth when he sings. ps why did the sign saying 'blake is great' get featured? BORING.

--Ryan dances and sings. awk-ward. and then asks blake who his daddy is.

LAKISHA: I wish LaKisha had listened to Lulu. She'll be fine though.

NOSPHILATU: meh. he has a good voice but he makes me uncomfortable.

JORDIN: Yeah, ok she did great. she still seems annoying.

--ugh, in Sanjaya's tease, he does a lot of weird stuff with his tongue that I think is actually supposed to be "wild"

SANJAYA: Oh, this is gonna be terrible. Oh god no. What is he wearing? What is he doing? Some girl in the audience is crying. I'm crying too. ps she's been crying the entire show. nobody discusses how bad this is. poor kid.

GINA: Yes. I like this one. But ouch on simon. that could hurt her chances.

CHRIS S: I wish he looked different. I'm shallow.

MELINDA: Melinda. My girl. And crying audience girl is still crying. I think she might be hurt.

My guess for the bottom 3: Phil, Sanjaya, and Stephanie. Though I'm nervous for Gina. I refuse to attempt to guess who gets booted for as long as sanjaya is still there. it's really throwing things off.

A message to Sara

Oh please Sara, i hope you have something to say about the crying little girl on American Idol last night. I only caught the very end, and other than Melinda Doolittle she was the most engrossing performer of the (5 minutes that I saw) show.

WRC: Out with the Fuggleton! Edition

Tyra realized that even after the makeover, Cassandra was still ugly.

So this week was everyone's favorite episode - the MAKEOVER episode. Hooray!! Of course, Tyra feels the need to do some sort of skit (she really needs to stop with those). This time, she does one where she throws a fit about getting her "hair" cut off. The biggest drama this cycle though, was that Jael's first look didn't take, so they put her through hell trying to fix it. and in my opinion, she was a pretty good sport about it.

I thought that post-makeover, Jaslene, Dionne, Felicia and Diana look great. Renee, Jael, and Whitney looked pretty good. Brittany, Natasha and Sarah looked eh. and Cassandra was an improvement, but there was just no hope. My roommate thinks that they only kept her around until they could take that wig out of her head.

Also dramatic for Jael this episode was her Tragic News. And again, for how serious it was, she did a pretty good job of keeping it together (for the most part).

So the challenge this week was one of those where they have to put on a full face of makeup in a certain amount of time whilst running from place to place. Cassandra got disqualified because she got stuck in a tree and was late. ha. The photoshoot theme was candy and sweets and naked poon. the girls stripped down and were painted with pictures of candy and covered in syrup and it all looked delicious and messy.

Sarah - looked like an ice cream gnome

Dionne - i love this girl. they still aren't showing too much of her personality though.

Brittany - can't stop FUCKING complaining. SHEESH.

Diana - I still like her so far, despite the fact that she's shown a little bit of bitchery.

Renee - fucking excuse making finger pointing shit stirrer. ugh.

Whitney - I'm still eh on her. she seems like a really cool person though.

Jael - is still in the running towards becoming my next top fave

Felicia - the hair made such an improvement. i think she's a strong contender. the hair also makes her look her age, but she can still work it.

Jaslene - Beautiful. a huge improvement with the makeover too. (i wish she weren't so skinny)

Natasha - i would like for natasha to stick around if just for her crazy foreignisms.

At panel, it came down to Cassandra and Diana. They kept saying stuff about cassandra like 'beautiful personality' 'beautiful on the inside' 'heart of gold'. haha. you're ugly. go home. though i still think my favorite part was when they first revealed her photo and it was so silent. i wish they had put some cricket chirps in there. anyway, i can't even remember what they didn't like about diana (i feel like it was her body, but they had to know what they were signing on for what with her being a plus size model and all). regardless, fuggleton got the boot and sara rejoiced. Next week: i'll probably still be waiting for renee, brittany and sarah to get kicked off.

Pinch Me! It can't be true!

i've recently discovered something horrific, which resulted in me conducting a survey. This all started yesterday when i was im'ing my friend. I was saying something to the effect of 'i wish this weekend were a regular weekend because i don't want to deal with having to wear green and pinching and people throwing up everywhere.' To which my friend (New Jersey) responded "pinching??" I couldn't believe she had no idea what i was talking about, so i im another friend of mine. i reiterate the story to her and just as i'm about to say something like 'can you BELIEVE she doesn't know about the pinching?!', friend #2 (Massachussetts) says "pinching?!?" and I flip out again. So at this point, I determine that it's time to get some answers. I im another friend (New Jersey) and I turn around to the coworker behind me (New Jersey) and say "what happens when you don't wear green on St. Patrick's Day?" Both respond: "i don't know, what?". At this point my mind is being blown, because a good portion of my childhood was made up of fear of forgetting st. patrick's day, forgetting to wear green, and spending the entire day getting pinched. So i google the words "green st. patrick's pinch" and a page of results comes up that proves to me that i'm not delusional or creating some sort of fairy world with fantasy memories. After this, I run to the next nearest coworker and i say "what happens when you don't wear green on St. Patrick's Day?" She (Florida) responds "you get pinched!" I thank my lucky stars at this that i am not alone. you see, this weirds me out so much because i grew up in approximately three different places (germany, texas and hawaii) and this tradition existed in all of them. So i figured it was pretty much a known thing that happens, and the fact that i'd already encountered four people that didn't know what the hell i was talking about made my whole world as i knew it fall apart. When i got home for the day, i asked my two roommates what happens on St. Patrick's day when you don't wear green. Oregon said "you get pinched!" and new hampshire said "you get slapped in the face?" (she can be violent sometimes). So, now i guess i'm taking this time to educate the northeasterners and anyone else who doesn't know about the pinching. it's unfair that the rest of the world grew up fearing st. patty's day -- fearing the assholes that would tell you it's not the right shade of green, or the jerks who said that it wasn't enough green (or that the green on your underwear doesn't count), and loving the teachers that would have clovers cut out of construction paper to pin on the kiddies that forgot in order to lessen the amount of violence going down on this oh so irish holiday. I hope some people learned a lesson today, and I hope those people will promptly forget about it after drinking themselves into a slushy puddle on the curb.

A nerdy surprise!

I was watching Jeopardy last night when there was the first ever three way tie in Jeoparty History! Seriously exciting! I really have nothing funny to say about it, i just thought it was cool. I guess this post also proves my loserdom, since I was indeed home on a Friday evening watching Jeopardy.

We are a family, like a giant tree

shout out to a coolfacelet!!!! My very own brother, and one of the original members of the fellowship, recently got interviewed for pinkergreen because he is an artistic genius. Also, he so lovingly gave our witto blog a shout out. What a guy! Hooray for Ricky!!

Check out the interview here!!!

WRC: Top 11

So there's good news and there's bad news and then there's news that could go either way...

The bottom three this week consisted of NosPhilatu, Sanjaya, and Brandon -- all boys i could do without. i think it's awesome that the bottom three were all dudes....i wish when they cut it down from 24 that it wouldn't be strictly 2 boy 2 girl each week because you know we could've been spared sanjaya for sabrina. anyway, i don't rule the world, so i'm over it. Phil turned out to be safe, leaving the bottom two as Sanjaya and Brandon. So of course the world thinks it'll be sanjaya because he clearly NEEDS TO FUCKING LEAVE but i think "well it definitely could be brandon - never underestimate a gaggle of tween wannabe hags." So the bad news is that Sanjaya is still around. The good news is that Brandon is out (i was a couple weeks early on calling that one) and i, for one, am pleased. The news that could go either way is that Sanjaya had the second least amount of votes. It is possible that his fanbase will notice this and double the votes next week, but i really hope he just goes. there's only one other person that i wouldn't mind sacrificing before him but beyond that it won't be cool if he beats out more deserving people.

WRC: Top 12 Performances

Brandon - I don't really like this guy...ever since his 'tude that one time. and i think he's a little sleazy.

Melinda - Paula's first official random crying y'all!!! I love how Melinda has the right amount of confidence when it comes to performing..but then right after it disappears...like she blacked out to perform or something. I heart MD.

Chris Sligh - No glasses on this dude makes me uncomfortable. I think this is the point of the competition where you can't just rely on having a great voice. I also hated his arrangement

Gina - I really hope gina makes it through a few weeks. i'm pleased with her.

Sanjaya - I hate how he holds the mic, I hate how he moves on stage. He is so wrong for this competition and I'm so mad that he's still here. He also went opposite of his flat-iron girl hair last week and had a justin guarini curly fro this week. I feel like everyone is doing everything they can (judges, hair stylist, me) to get this kid kicked off. for his own sake. except america.

Haley - I think she might be around for a couple weeks because she's the only girl like her there. her comments were better than they have been, but she might've screwed herself by doing so much visible self-doubting.

Phil - creeps me out. good voice, but the problem is we have to look at him. he's too nosferatu for me.

LaKisha - wonderful as usual

Blake - he'll be fine whatever he does for now i think

Stephanie - I love this girl, but I totally agree with Simon re: I kept waiting for that song to start.

Chris R - it definitely was a terrible vocal and he's had way better performances in the past, but I totally love this guy and he'll always do right by me. (for now)

Jordin - Jordin...allow me to be a little bold about jordin here. I feel like she has done 3 mediocre performances in a row and everyone was being nice to her because they thought she should definitely be in the top 12. and now that she's there, she's (in my opinion) still doing mediocre performances. i love the land before time, but that song showed her youth, it bored me, and i don't think it was as vocally perfect as the judges said it was. it seems like the judges are trying to push her into the finals for whatever reason...but i remain unimpressed. and she seems like she'd be kind of annoying in person.

All in all, if it's a girl, it will probably be a vote split that stephanie will likely suffer from. If it's a boy, it better be Sanjaya. Either way, it better be sanjaya. if america is stupid again, then i think chris sligh is in trouble. though i'd rather see phil go first.

HAPPY 200!!

It's our 200th post!!! Hooray for everyone!! In celebration of our 200th post, I'd like to let everyone know that we've now gone through and labeled all the posts so, for example, if you want to see all the "reality corner" posts that there have ever been, click on 'reality corner'. if you want to see everyone who has been inducted into the coolfacelets, click on 'coolface fam'. if you want to remind yourself of the wonderful A. Rock, click on "a. rock". I LOVE ORGANIZATION!!!

Secondly, I saw on the news last night that Queens is looking for a new poet laureate. I'd like to take this opportunity to nominate our very own Becca Jones. Becca lives in Queens and comes from a long line of poets. Just check out this pedigree!!!

Excuses Excuses

Sorry for the lack of becca posts. I admit it, i've been partying a little too hard lately.



Damn! those american girl doll enthusiats know how to party!

Please note: I did not actually attend this party. I was not invited. It's cool I'm not hurt...........................Ok. I admit it yes, yes i am hurt.

Official Induction

Please meet the latest member of the Fellowship of the Coolfacelets:

CHRISTINE!!!



christine is the best and everyone should love her the mostest.


Make yourself known and YOU could be the next inductee!!

WRC: high school!!!!

This week's episode of top model is all about high school --- which I think for the viewing audience is a blast from the past novelty, but for the contestants, it's basically like going back to yesterday or something. anyway, the girls got some walking lessons from one j and had to do a runway show for a high school as the challenge, and then did a photo shoot with the other jay where they had to embody high school stereotypes. and can i just say that between a runway show for high school students and last week's runway show for the goodwill employee/parking lot loiterers, i think ANTM might be losing its clout. and can i also say that i was at the gym today watching something with a bunch of stunners on vh1, so i thought it was that one show the agency...and i was like, no wonder antm keeps getting average looking contestants, all the hotties are actually models! imagine my surprise when i realized i was not watching the agency, but rather Australia's Next Top Model. between those girls and the dudes i met last weekend, i'm convinced that that's where all the beautiful people come from.

Ok, so last week's fight was about burping, this week was about jaslene's trantastic self esteem. now that we're all caught up, let's move on to the list. i've also got all the girls' names this week, so i'll make the proper corrections:

Renee (fka Renee) - CLASS CLOWN - UGH!!! Stop with the excuses. This girl's got a sack of excuses always at the ready and her son in her back pocket. I would really like for someone to punch Renee in her pretty little bitchy face. She also complained about two people watching her photo shoot, but then you see that she sat in on everyone else's. ugh. can't stand her.

Whitney (fka Plus Size #2) - MEAN GIRL - I dunno. I don't see what tyra sees. i don't have any opinion on her except that she needs to find better fitting tops.

Jael (fka Jael) - BOOKWORM - bitch can work an 80's look. and a nerdy look. i think that really she might be able to work any look. I might love this girl. and if i don't, i definitely could.

Felicia (fka Tyra Jr) - JOCK - brows on the loose!!! seriously, i'm jonesin for makeover episode for this girl. otherwise, lil tyra is fab

Cassandra (fka Fugalicious) - CHEERLEADER - i think it's hilarious that they made the fugster fuggleton the cheerleader. They took her shirt off so you wouldn't look at her face.

Jaslene (fka Jaslene) - WEIRDO - This girl can take a fucking picture.

Diana (fka Plus Size #1) - STUDENT BODY PRESIDENT - i tried really hard to make some sort of joke tying 'student body' with the fact that she's a plus size model, but then i gave up. Regardless, this is the plus size steed I'm choosing.

Brittany (fka soccer mom) - VALEDICTORIAN - i can't understand why the judges love this girl so much. Eck. I can't roll with this.

Dionne (fka Deanna) - BAD GIRL - We haven't really seen too much about this girl, but I'm pleased so far.

Natasha (fka Russian Mail Order Bride) - TEACHER'S PET - of course the russian's name is Natasha. i think the language thing is going to make things so difficult on her and that the judges are eventually going to cut her loose because they don't want to deal with trying to convey their thoughts to her.

Sarah (fka Sarah) - CLASS FLIRT - Is not a model to me. Does nothing for me.

Samantha (fka Brows) - BAD REPUTATION - She needs to get over who she is and step into her characters. She's such a dud. i don't think she realizes that if she wants to be a model, she's often going to be in situations (and have jobs) that require her to be a different person than she is...and she just seemed really resistant to that...


...Which is why Brows and her brows got the boot this week. Unfortunate because i really was looking forward to seeing her post-makeover, but whatevs - good riddance i say. she was one of the prettiest ones there, but she was also too conservative for this fickle fickle world.

Some final notes:

-CariDee's My Life As A Covergirl are byfar the best ones.

- People i would love to see leave: Cassandra, Renee, Sarah, Brittany, and Whitney.

OUR BIGGEST WEEK EVER!!! ...i think

i just wanted to give a shout out to all our loyal readers and a hello to any new guys pokin' around the joint. We had over 300 visits this week and I know that to any other blog that's effing pocket change or something, but to us that's pretty huge. We've had some big numbers as of late and here are the public thank yous i'd like to give. Becca can add on with any more that she might think of...

1) People who like to see Maggie Gyllenhaal's baby hole covered in fur.

- for a while, we were blindsided by the amount of traffic directed our way based solely on one picture and one mention of maggie gyllenhaal on this blog. but then we decided not to question and just to accept it--life hasn't been the same since.

2) Dolly Parton, Queen of the World

- we all know how fucking awesome dolly is so let's not waste any time there. Without Dolly, we wouldn't have the dolly fans who have come out in crowds THREE TIMES as large as gyllenhaal's supporters. Dolly wins everything. Dolly should be a contestant on american idol, america's next top model, AND the Amazing Race. and i don't even watch the amazing race.

3) Anyone with McPheever

- some kids at idol forum came across a post of mine and that day gave us record-breaking numbers (probably). never underestimate what kind of information superfans will scramble for.

4) fourfour.typepad.com

- if you're a consistent reader of this blog, then you know i have a special place in my heart for Rich from fourfour. aside from just having an awesome blog, he does amazing recaps of top model with screen shots and videos and sound clips and hilarious but spot-on observations. he also has a hamburger head cat named winston and another cat whose name i don't know. i pimp out his blog at any opportunity i have because i think the world would be a better place if everyone read it. anyway, he recently linked us on his blog and i couldn't be more excited.


5) the steadfast members of the coolfacelets

- all 3 official inductees. make your presence known and you could very well be inducted. i'm thinking our next inductee may or may not be a gentlelady named christine.

WRC: YOUR top 12

so i ended up watching the results show before i got a chance to finish watching the guys sing, but it appears i didn't really need to write much more than i had. I was correct about Jared getting kicked out. and THANK GOD, finally america got the hint and Antonella is out. carrie underwood comes out and performs and i wonder if she's thinking 'i'm a grammy winning superstar, when will i be able to stop coming back to perform for these wannabes'. then we get to the interesting part -- they send everyone through to the top 12 until 10 spots are filled and we're left with four people: Sanjaya, Sundance, Sabrina, and Haley. Sabrina and Haley are called up and you look at the two of them and think "oh, sara was right on because there's no WAY that sabrina/nosella is going home right now and that haley has ever done better than her. And then sabrina/nosella gets sent home and haley gets through to the top 12. and you can tell by how hard haley takes it that she knows it should've been her. then i start to wonder that maybe some people are confused and think that they are still voting for katharine mcphee when they vote for haley. then there's some long thing about how idol is gonna save the world or something. when it FINALLY ends, seacrest calls up sanjaya and sundance and the world thinks "well, sundance isn't gonna win, but he definitely deserves the last spot more than sanjaya does. god damn, sara is good!" so the last spot goes to sanjaya. it's just, really a waste of a top 12 spot there. he doesn't have a chance unless he is able to gain confidence and lose awkwardness and i will protest until these tween girls stop voting for the little boy whose hag they all totally want to be. ugh. i'm so over america sometimes.

WRC: Idol Top 16

****UPDATE****I still haven't seen all the boys, but apparently I clairvoyantly mentioned all the boys that were affected in last night's results show. i don't know when (or if) i'll get to watching the rest of that other show, so i'm probably not gonna add anymore to this post.

Here we go...we're almost at the top 12. Finally, i'll only have to commit one night to performances. I'm hoping that everything goes according to what i have planned in my noggin...otherwise it'll be a looong season having to put up with the lesser talented but more popular contestants.

BOYS:
BLAKE: i really don't think blake needs to worry about anything for the next 8 weeks or so
SANJAYA: It was nice of Sanjaya to let his sister sing for him this week. Too weak, too timid. He better be gone this week, because honestly, no matter what, this guy doesn't have a shot at taking this competition.
SUNDANCE: he'll most likely make the top 6, but he gets less appealing to me weekly. even though he finally found his footing again, he just hasn't blown my mind in performances like he did at his first audition.

** a stab in the dark guess until i see the rest of the episode -- sanjaya and jared (who is just so forgettable to me)

GIRLS:
JORDIN: she was pretty charismatic last night. i think she's safe.
SABRINA: no worries.
ANTONELLA: much better this week but seriously, she is zero compared to everyone else. she's amateurish and the weakest singer and kind of a brat. even the judges- in so many words- were like, america, kick this bitch out.
HALEY: just not good enough
STEPHANIE: woot! savannah!
LAKISHA: lakisha can do no wrong.
GINA: still reigning white girl
MELINDA: fucking melinda. sing me lullabies. i heart you.

if haley and antonella aren't out this week, i'll eat my fucking hat.

in other tragic news...

first the torso in a suitcase and now this!?!

I read on gothamist about some sad sad news for the city of new york... the party bike has been officially banned. sigh. this now means that groups of 6 overweight tourist can no longer pretend to pedal a huge bike-like contraption that takes up 3 lanes and goes five miles per hour through times square during rush hour. honestly, i don't know what goes through the lawmakers heads sometimes.

i guess it's back to those big red tour buses and single pedi-cabs for you out of towners!

SERIOUSLY, America?

America has been making some bad choices recently that not only make me uncomfortable, but that i think are forewarning us that the world is about to end. For one, Antonella Barba is still on American Idol. Secondly, Britney scrawls 666 on her forehead, screams that she is the antichrist, and then tries to kill herself with her bedsheets...and NOW, fucking WILD HOGS made 38 million at the box office. REALLY, AMERICA?!?!?! You're going to throw away your money on that load of crap??? are the four horsemen of the apocalypse really just john travolta, tim allen, martin lawrence, and william h. macy on motorcycles?!?! excuse me while i go vomit as much as i did when i read on the news that a woman's torso in a suitcase washed ashore.


Source: [MTV UK] via [BWE]
Source: [NY TIMES]

Subway Spotlight: Two Running Ladies!!

A few months ago, I was running a little bit early (a rare occasion indeed) and as i was heading to the train i was passed by two ladies fleeing towards the train exit. I thought to myself, i bet those bitches are late to work. Then today, another rare occasion where i was running the same amount of a little bit early I again am passed by these two same fleeing ladies. My question is this: why don't they just take an earlier train instead of sprinting to work every day?

WRC: AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL Y'ALL

a lotta stupid/hilarious things happened in these two hours, and i wish i had time to cover it all, but for now, we'll just do a general rundown of the girls...Oh also, i don't know all their names yet and i don't feel like looking them up, so I'll refer to them by affectionate nicknames for now...

Dummy - (kathleen i think...i'll never know her name for sure because she was kicked off) She was so dumb that it was trying, but it was such an innocent stupidity that it was kind of endearing and lovable. She really would've been a wealth of entertainment throughout the show if she stayed on. I've gotten hours of entertainment out of: judges: "We don't think you really understood the concept of the shoot." Kathleen: "I know, right?"

Russian Mail Order Bride - AMAZING that there is a mail order bride on top model. She's pretty but i think she needs some sunsilk hairapy

Jaslene - Welcome back, last year's trantastic latina. she's better looking this year but grossly skinny

Jael - i'm interested in seeing what she can do with her photos..i think she can probably do really well

Brows - She has great potential, i'm just waiting for the makeover episode to clean up those brows

Cassandra..? - Fugalicious definition make those boys go running. seriously, fug. like, no excuse, no escape fug. not even fashion fug.

2 Plus Size gals - awesome that there are two, but the plus size contestants never have a chance. i dare tyra to prove me wrong.

Sarah - i'm done with this self-righteous know it all.

Renee - In my opinion, one of the prettiest girls. Also, the most annoying and bitchy. i'm upset because i thought she'd represent hawaii, but now she's just shaming us.

Deana - i like her, but have no point of reference for her. at this point, i probably couldn't even pick her out of a lineup.

Soccer Mom - looks like a mixture of the worst parts of cameron diaz and sandra bernhardt

tyra jr - very pretty. her hair and brows can't wait for the makeover episode.

So there's the brief rundown of the potential 'models', soon i'll get a little more in depth- feel free to leave your thoughts about the episode in the comments!!

WRC: Idol Results

So...I was...kind of off on my guesses. i must've forgotten that america can be an idiot about things and people don't necessarily vote on who is the best. and the only reason i can think that antonella barba is still there is because of websites like that one vote for the worst place where they send massive amounts of votes to the worst contestant to make the producers (and me) angry. whatevs, at least i was 25% right with Alaina getting the boot. Her kickoff singing time was almost really embarrassing because she was crying so much she couldn't get a note out and then she called the girls down to hug her and it was kind of sad, but she was able to pull it together to sing a little bit. Leslie also got kicked off. I figured she'd go next week anyway, but i would have liked to see that QM perform again. Any little bit to unlock the mystery of leslie hunt.

kellie pickler performed and i was all 'kellie boobjob'? also, she's aged herself 20 years with that hairdo she was sporting. if i would've given fantasia a nickname last week i would've called her 'fantasia cheetohs'

So, I will admit that my opinion on nick was probably swayed because i thought he was cute, so i'll say i was way off on that one. but AJ?!?! not sweet lil most likely gay aj! he had a great voice and performed so much better than sanjaya. seriously. what the eff?

WRC: Top 20

BOYS
I think the following six boys are safe this week:

1.Chris Richardson - mmmmmm
2.Sundance Head - finally came back this week. we'll see if he can keep it up.
3.Blake Lewis - i just love this kid
4.Chris Sligh - so great. again - don't know about the whole "look" thing with him. Then again, taylor did win last year (zing!).
5.AJ Tibaldo - this cute lil monchichi finally did something where he sticks out.
6.Nick Pedro - i want to use his voice as a blanky.

I think unfortunately Sanjaya is done. he was too timid and it was like he was performing for an audience of 10. logistically i think probably phil (nosferatu) will be the second, but hear me out on this: brandon rogers.

Brandon Rogers pissed me the fuck off this week. I was completely warming up to him until his stupid bratty attitude. it is a show about singing, not who can 'feel' the best. it doesn't matter how much heart you put into it, you can't just make a dedication and rely on that as a great performance. he has to be able to stick out against these other boys and by doing a bullshit BORING performance and, when called out on it, acts like a complete baby, he isn't doing that. i think he maybe shot himself in the foot with the 'tude he gave the judges. he was likeable, now he's just stubborn and cocky.

GIRLS

1.Melinda Doolittle - i love love LOVE melinda doolittle. and that she's kind of dorky and all face.
2.Lakisha Jones - she has nothing to worry about this week...i did expect a little more from her out of this song, but she's still phenomenal.
3.Stephanie - big ups to savannah!
4.Nosella Noserton (Sabrina Sloan) - not her best today, but she'll be fine,
5.Gina Glocksen - reigning white girl
6.Jordin Sparks - aww. she loves her brother. she's melting my cold dark heart.

Ryan: "So antonella, what will you do differently this week?" Antonella: "Well, the entire nation has seen my scandalous pictures, so I'm counting on those votes." I think Antonella is for sure done. for sure. if it wasn't cemented by her terrible performance, it was by her ridiculous' tude. she sux. Beyond that, i'm guessing Alaina Alexander or Haley Scarnato. I really think there's only room for one white girl in the top 6 and neither of these girls are it.