Alright. So here's the deal -- I know i'm very tardy with this pick up artist reality corner. i'm generally behind with my television watching right now, but i'm doing my best to catch up. i got halfway through a recap of the first episode and i was way too bored with it. this is going to be a lot of repetition from the first season, so I decided to just pull ridiculous quotes from Mystery (and others if otherwise noted).
Let's just catch everyone up first. There is the promise of Kosmo, last season's winner. Matador grew his hair out and lost a ton of weight. he looks even cartoonier than before. the fake british dude seems to have been replaced by last year's date-for-hire, Tara. There were like 3 separate time killing intros into the first episode. In case you missed any of those intros, or are not even planning on watching the show, a fairly accurate description can be found by clicking here.
Alright, I didn't start collecting quotes til halfway through the first episode, but this will also cover the second ep. In or out of context, these quotes are worthy of mockery and eye rolling. as stated above, all quotes are from Mystery, unless otherwise noted.
"i'll let you snack on my girls"
"now i'm known as a fashion misfit, but tonight there will be no crutches. I won't need my hat." [his power is in the hat!!]
"picking up women is fun! and easy!"
"Matt, since you've won today's reward challenge, you win what is inside this bag. this is my secret accessory. i'll teach you how to use that later. " [heyo!]
[ps the secret accessory is a black boa]
"notice by talking to the man first, he's gotten permission to talk to the girls." - matador [oh, really? this is what you're teaching. that a man is in charge of a whole group of ladies he's with and makes the decision of who the girls talk to?]
[just another pause from the quotes. so one of the dweebs was being super creepy during his field test and the girls he was trying to talk to were being unnecessarily rude so tara was all "what bitches!!" and then mystery gets all whiny and is like "welcome to reality! now you know what guys have to deal with!" like, yeah douche, that's the realistic response a girl gives when a guy is being CREEPY.]
"See this man right here? why didn't he introduce himself to this man and pay respect to the man first?" [!]
"that scarf is maaaagic in my hands."