Tuesday, July 15, 2008

who is this "katy perry"?

america is trying to make me love a girl named katy perry and i just can't do it. first, let me show you why i can't do it:

1: is she even singing this?
2: her voice doesn't match her body
3: is this song sung by a robot?
4: i hate these lyrics
5: your boyfriend? ugh.
6: where did this girl learn how to perform? Wooden Plank School?
7: i think that dress belongs on my dolly
8: did she just say "a-gain" oh. no. i wish she had though
9: it's not what good girls do? great message.
10: why are you flirting with all the dudes onstage while singing about how great it is to kiss a girl?

and unrelated to the video, this week in the barrage of press that this girl has been getting, i discover that she used to be a christian singer...and has said stuff like 'i'll do anything for attention'

what's making it difficult not to completely hate her is that she looks like one of my absolute favorite actresses, emily blunt:

but then, i was reading the ol' google reader, and best week ever pointed out that she is a dead ringer for zooey deschanel. also true:

katy perry:

i'm so confused!


Ricky said...

katy perry haterz unite!!!

three more reasons:
1)jill sobule did it better in the nineties.

2)her cat is named "kitty purry"

3)that goddamned song is inescapable.

p.s. i hope this doesn't start a controversy like the great patricia arquette wars of aught-seven!!!

Sara said...

no her cat neva!!

pps, i did think about the p.a. debacle, but it had to be said, so i went ahead a said it. okaaayyyyy

Becca said...

for some reason this song/girl/whole prefab hipster look makes me want to punch my boss.

thank you sara, i have just been fired.

'stine said...

i like how the host was all, it's so catching! about her performance.
catching, like VD. good point, host!

Anonymous said...

I would fuck every hole in her body. Period.

PoemCo said...

oh wow, stumbled upon this and couldn't resist. I'm not such a katy perry fan myself but your bullet list is fucking retarded. you have beef because her voice doesn't match her face? what the hell does that mean?! you're pissed because she calls herself a bad girl but she used to be christian? are you a moron? apparently because the idea that she's teasing her mail dancers while singing about kissing a girl is too difficult for you to grasp, i bet you dont' understand why men watch lesbian porn either.

i also thought you were stupid because you listed katy perry's redeeming factor as her similar appearance to actresses you want to bone. your 'criticism' is utter garbage brah, get a life.

Sara said...

what's a mail dancer? a postman with moves?

PoemCo said...

@sara, a 'mail dancer' is a typo you make at 6 in the morning. obviously.

Joselyn said...

does PoemCo actually think you're a dude? your blogger name is 'Sara'. And you have a picture of yourself to go along with it. I'm really hoping PoemCo does not write poetry because something tells me it would be angry and filled with grammatical/gender mistakes...oh, sorry, i mean typos. (btw PoemCo, the difference between 'mail' and 'male' is not a simple typo; it's completely mistaking 2 words that happen to be homophones. yeah, like a MORON would do.)

Sav said...

I think what's moronic are the reasons listed for hating Katy Perry.
Reasons for hating any celebrity really. No one should even care this much.
If you had a friend named Katy Perry who named her cat "kitty purry," you would think it was adorable.
She wasn't the sexiest woman of the year for nothing.
She's a funny sexy celebrity who knows how to appeal to her listeners.
Even if I didn't like her music, if she came on the radio I'm not thinking about how her voice doesn't match her body or how she dresses or what she (cleverly) named her cat.
If you don't like her music don't listen to it.
And definitely do something more productive the next time an unimpressive celebrity comes along, rather than post a hate blog about a celebrity, get a cat.
So we don't have to hear about the retarded things you choose to hate and your terrible, shallow reasons for hating them.
Everybody reading this knows you won't do that of course because the only reason you post hateful blogs about anyone is to feed off the attention you're getting, good or bad.
Your own friends hate you. Everyone hates gossipy bitches who trash celebrities online.