Return to Scientology, Chapter IV: A New Hero

The latest in the scientology saga:

I was walking behind this very tall man, whom i will call "New Hero", and there was a lady scientologist handing out those familiar "free dianetics screening" cards. The man in front of me ignored her at first, so she then thrust the card at me. I dodged her arm as though she were chucking chinese throwing stars at me and New Hero, for some reason (maybe the bright colors on the card) decided that ignoring this lady was a mistake, and that he, indeed, wanted whatever she was handing out. so, he turns back around and takes the card from her hand. i, still behind him, am eagerly awaiting his reaction. will he chuck it on the ground, to join all the other discarded attempts at brainwashing? or will he thoughtfully stuff it in his pocket, so he can throw it away in the privacy of his own home? seconds pass as he studies what's on the card, and then comes his reaction...the NEW best reaction ever...New Hero shouts, "UGH! Scientology?!?! FUCK THAT!" and tosses the card on the sad, wet ground.