as with last year, i'm not going to give a recap of the oscars, because many others do it much better than i could. might i direct you to mimi coco's liveblog or the sum up from this new blog i read (shout out, kristen!), redacted. if i had a laptop, this post would probably be different, but alas i do not. i will say how much i truly loved the part in hugh jackman's opening number that highlighted The Reader. I was guffawing. i thought all in all it was a pretty entertaining show. though i hated how i couldn't see the dead people during the in memoriam. mimi coco said it best when she described it as the Bourne Ultimatum of death montages.
anywho, what's really important here is to talk about what good guessers we are! i got fifteen right out of the 24, besting my total from last year. i was on such a roll in the beginning, but then i foolishly gave some stuff to benji butto that i obvs should've given to slumdog.
again, i was three for four on the acting noms, incorrectingly giving mickey rourke the best actor prize. i was pleased with myself for getting penny cruz right though. i must say, i used to think she was nothing special in the acting department as well as the looks department, but she's definitely grown on me with both. she's a completely different actor in her native language. and switching between english and spanish = hot. i was correct again this year with the director and picture prizes, but let's get to what i'm really proud of-- choosing the winners in Live Action Short (based on title), Sound Editing (Dark Knight!), editing (the deductive reasoning always works), documentary short AND feature, and costume design (always go for the elaborate royal dresses). the other ones i guessed correctly were pretty obvious - adapted and original screenplay, animated feature, and visual effects. i think what's most impressive here, if you'll allow me to continue patting myself on the back this year, is that the only movies i've seen out of all the nominees were Benjamin Button, Dark Knight, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, Wall-E, Iron Man, and Hellboy II (which I TOTALLY thought would take it for makeup. benji butts for visual effects, yes, but not for makeup.) And Benjamin Button was the only one that really counted of those. Wall-E and the Dark Knight both had a good amount of nominations (6 and 8, respectively), but they were in like, sound mixing and original song.
anyway, that's enough bragging. the big winner was obviously slumdog millionaire, winning 8 of their 10 nominations. next closest was benji with three, and milk and dark knight (!) tied for 3rd with 2 each. how did you guys fare in your oscar pools? what were your favorite parts of the show? i personally got really excited to see marion cotillard there. have any of you watched "Love Me if You Dare"? i also, like my dear friend kate reilly (holla!), was confused at zac efron's constant presence.
Monday, February 23, 2009
we're getting there, heroes
heroes is one of the few shows out of many that i watch (seriously, i counted it out the other day and it's like, in the 30's) that i will actually see live (or semi-live...gotta hold out long enough to skip through the commercials). i've always loved superheroes, probably thanks to my brother, and i used to be so in awe of this show. most people lost the magic in season 2, when hiro got sent back to feudal japan for way too long, when they brought in those annoying twins, etc. but i didn't give up on the show-- i even held out from bad mouthing it at this point. but then season 3 started and i couldn't hold my tongue anymore.
it used to be that i would watch the show, enjoy it for the most part, and then think of plot holes/continuity errors/ridiculous parts only after the fact. but for season 3 everything was different. i was so pulled out of it that i would sass my tv. i'd call out the show's stupidity right to its face (meaning, i'd talk/sarcastically laugh aloud to myself). things were getting bad. but then poor pushing daisies got cancelled and there's was this great hope that bryan fuller would go back to heroes and everything would be better again.
this new volume, Fugitives (i think), has definitely shown improvement. granted, they didn't have to do too much to improve on the crap they were airing, but still... while they are still working out the kinks, though, why don't we all just talk about what still irritates us. i'll start, and then anyone else can continue in the comments.
these are mostly just from last week's episode --
1) nathan smugly walks into the scene where zeljko ivanek is bitching about something. ZI makes some comment to nathan and he responds that he was just getting his "double espresso" and then holds up a large coffee cup. uh, who would serve a double espresso in a large coffee cup?!
** side note -- the other day, somebody ordered a large americano (which is a shot of espresso and hot water, for those who don't know) and when i handed her the cup she was like "this isn't all espresso is it?" ... uh lady, if i would've filled up that whole cup with espresso, we would've been there at least half an hour, and you would have never been able to sleep again. and secondly, do you...know what you ordered?
2) i don't understand why these people keep using the future telling device to figure out their next step. if it's supposed to happen, then shouldn't everyone go about their business until it comes to pass? seriously, that power is less "read the future" and more "create the future because whatever you paint, stupid hiro is going to look at it and figure out a way to make it come true". and why do characters keep referring to past futures? (did i just blow your mind?) things have been altered, so those versions of the future shouldn't happen anymore. are they trying to say you can't ever change things, or is it just lazy writing? why did we waste all that time going to the future with the purpose of changing it, if they are still referring to it as unchanged?
3) why is Tracy such an idiot? can they kill her off and bring the third ali larter out?
4) "Can you apologize to his blood stain? It's still warm." -Nathan
What? The guy that died because tracy froze him solid and shattered him? he's the bloodstain that's still warm? did they let him thaw out, then leave the pieces alone for a while until they came up to room temperature, then heat them up with a blow dryer before cleaning it up just so nathan could say this? do you think a better line could've been "Can you apologize to his blood stain? It's frozen solid." or even "Can you apologize to his blood stain? It's the consistency of crushed ice."
it used to be that i would watch the show, enjoy it for the most part, and then think of plot holes/continuity errors/ridiculous parts only after the fact. but for season 3 everything was different. i was so pulled out of it that i would sass my tv. i'd call out the show's stupidity right to its face (meaning, i'd talk/sarcastically laugh aloud to myself). things were getting bad. but then poor pushing daisies got cancelled and there's was this great hope that bryan fuller would go back to heroes and everything would be better again.
this new volume, Fugitives (i think), has definitely shown improvement. granted, they didn't have to do too much to improve on the crap they were airing, but still... while they are still working out the kinks, though, why don't we all just talk about what still irritates us. i'll start, and then anyone else can continue in the comments.
these are mostly just from last week's episode --
1) nathan smugly walks into the scene where zeljko ivanek is bitching about something. ZI makes some comment to nathan and he responds that he was just getting his "double espresso" and then holds up a large coffee cup. uh, who would serve a double espresso in a large coffee cup?!
** side note -- the other day, somebody ordered a large americano (which is a shot of espresso and hot water, for those who don't know) and when i handed her the cup she was like "this isn't all espresso is it?" ... uh lady, if i would've filled up that whole cup with espresso, we would've been there at least half an hour, and you would have never been able to sleep again. and secondly, do you...know what you ordered?
2) i don't understand why these people keep using the future telling device to figure out their next step. if it's supposed to happen, then shouldn't everyone go about their business until it comes to pass? seriously, that power is less "read the future" and more "create the future because whatever you paint, stupid hiro is going to look at it and figure out a way to make it come true". and why do characters keep referring to past futures? (did i just blow your mind?) things have been altered, so those versions of the future shouldn't happen anymore. are they trying to say you can't ever change things, or is it just lazy writing? why did we waste all that time going to the future with the purpose of changing it, if they are still referring to it as unchanged?
3) why is Tracy such an idiot? can they kill her off and bring the third ali larter out?
4) "Can you apologize to his blood stain? It's still warm." -Nathan
What? The guy that died because tracy froze him solid and shattered him? he's the bloodstain that's still warm? did they let him thaw out, then leave the pieces alone for a while until they came up to room temperature, then heat them up with a blow dryer before cleaning it up just so nathan could say this? do you think a better line could've been "Can you apologize to his blood stain? It's frozen solid." or even "Can you apologize to his blood stain? It's the consistency of crushed ice."
Friday, February 20, 2009
WRC: RoLB - Tutu ya later
preevs: marcia was wasted all the time, most likely to make the idea of hooking up with bret palatable. but that didn't work so she went home.
the girls head to st. louis. ashley and farrah decide to hate natasha because they don't like her face or her low "man voice". bret isn't feeling a special-time connection with any of the girls, so he cooks up a scheme. the girls are taken to the hustler club and ashley feels excited and comforted at the sight of stripper poles. bret brings out three girls that are "in need of makeovers" and assigns one to each group. let's just say the wardrobe people could've done a more convincing job here. it must be the same stylists that turned the girls fug for RoL: Charm School. the winning captain gets a date with bret. Jamie comes out and bret praises her bralessness. then he says that bras should never have been invented. do you think he's ever seen natural boobs that had been braless lifelong? i don't. jenny comes out, followed by kami -- who looks a little like megan mullally, but not in any sort of positive way.
bret chooses all three as winners, so he'll go on a date with all the cap'ns. god forbid he ever has to go on a date with just one person. he also says that the three new girls will join them on the tour. some girls are stunned, others clap. bret's ego is bruised by the clappers.
natasha says she doesn't mind making friends here. so you know she's probably going home, because rule 1 of reality tv is that you aren't there to make friends. ashley goes to bret and airs her complaints about this plot twist. she also says she thinks natasha's a man. she thinks she wears tutus all the time to hide her junk. she complains about not getting time with bret, so he says he'll make time for her.
the team cap'ns go on a riverboating date, and bret proposes that he may just like these 3 in a friends with benefits way and not a relationship way. meaning, he'll bang them, but he doesn't like being around them. bret takes mindy aside and tells her he thinks she's awesome. they make out and the way it starts is seriously one of the grossest kisses i've ever seen. bret tilts his head, opens his mouth, then moves in.
the three new girls go to the others to try and make friends and brittanya flips the fuck out. bret comes back from his date and hangs with the "3 news". beverly confronts bret about his motive behind bringing the new girls. bret then basically admits he did this to get a rise out of the girls, but was pissed when they clapped at his announcement. he throws a fit and goes to hang out with ashley on the bus. he sings her a bad song, tells her he likes her in a "hot sexy girlfriend way", then presumably bangs her.
woah, speaking of WO-man, farrah, you are not so ladylike without all your makeup. new girls get new jeans and a bowling date. they tell bret how brittanya got all crazy, so bret gets turned on. then they tell him how she said she'd hit kami and doesn't care if that would send her home. that's another ego bruising.
bret is in the weight room and brittanya comes in and what. is. she. wearing. it's like...what. a belt with suspenders made out of tinsel. for real. that's it. i would've loved to see her eye this in the store, hold it out and consider it, hold it up to her body to see if it 'fits'. bret's all "talk to me" and brittanya speaks her mind. meaning, she has not a thing to say. finally, he prompts her to talk about her feelings about the new girls. she's not happy about it.
eliminations. the new girls are all safe, as is ashley. bret then calls mindy, taya, beverley, kelsey, and farrah. this leaves natasha and brittanya. but only one of them is wearing a belt with suspenders which, unlike the tutu, leaves little room to imagine any unwanted male parts. natasha goes home and dimples is safe another week.
the girls head to st. louis. ashley and farrah decide to hate natasha because they don't like her face or her low "man voice". bret isn't feeling a special-time connection with any of the girls, so he cooks up a scheme. the girls are taken to the hustler club and ashley feels excited and comforted at the sight of stripper poles. bret brings out three girls that are "in need of makeovers" and assigns one to each group. let's just say the wardrobe people could've done a more convincing job here. it must be the same stylists that turned the girls fug for RoL: Charm School. the winning captain gets a date with bret. Jamie comes out and bret praises her bralessness. then he says that bras should never have been invented. do you think he's ever seen natural boobs that had been braless lifelong? i don't. jenny comes out, followed by kami -- who looks a little like megan mullally, but not in any sort of positive way.
bret chooses all three as winners, so he'll go on a date with all the cap'ns. god forbid he ever has to go on a date with just one person. he also says that the three new girls will join them on the tour. some girls are stunned, others clap. bret's ego is bruised by the clappers.
natasha says she doesn't mind making friends here. so you know she's probably going home, because rule 1 of reality tv is that you aren't there to make friends. ashley goes to bret and airs her complaints about this plot twist. she also says she thinks natasha's a man. she thinks she wears tutus all the time to hide her junk. she complains about not getting time with bret, so he says he'll make time for her.
the team cap'ns go on a riverboating date, and bret proposes that he may just like these 3 in a friends with benefits way and not a relationship way. meaning, he'll bang them, but he doesn't like being around them. bret takes mindy aside and tells her he thinks she's awesome. they make out and the way it starts is seriously one of the grossest kisses i've ever seen. bret tilts his head, opens his mouth, then moves in.
the three new girls go to the others to try and make friends and brittanya flips the fuck out. bret comes back from his date and hangs with the "3 news". beverly confronts bret about his motive behind bringing the new girls. bret then basically admits he did this to get a rise out of the girls, but was pissed when they clapped at his announcement. he throws a fit and goes to hang out with ashley on the bus. he sings her a bad song, tells her he likes her in a "hot sexy girlfriend way", then presumably bangs her.
woah, speaking of WO-man, farrah, you are not so ladylike without all your makeup. new girls get new jeans and a bowling date. they tell bret how brittanya got all crazy, so bret gets turned on. then they tell him how she said she'd hit kami and doesn't care if that would send her home. that's another ego bruising.
bret is in the weight room and brittanya comes in and what. is. she. wearing. it's like...what. a belt with suspenders made out of tinsel. for real. that's it. i would've loved to see her eye this in the store, hold it out and consider it, hold it up to her body to see if it 'fits'. bret's all "talk to me" and brittanya speaks her mind. meaning, she has not a thing to say. finally, he prompts her to talk about her feelings about the new girls. she's not happy about it.
eliminations. the new girls are all safe, as is ashley. bret then calls mindy, taya, beverley, kelsey, and farrah. this leaves natasha and brittanya. but only one of them is wearing a belt with suspenders which, unlike the tutu, leaves little room to imagine any unwanted male parts. natasha goes home and dimples is safe another week.
Friday, February 13, 2009
effing v-day
so valentine's day is tomorrow. i bet all you happy taken people are excited that it's on a saturday. how perfect for you. i personally think valentine's day is the worst. and whenever i tell that to people, i can just see the pity in their eyes. "she hates valentine's day because she's eternally single." well save your pity because either way i don't like it. it's a made up holiday that allows people to believe it's okay to grossly makeout in public everywhere. the one day people allow themselves to be super nice to their s.o.'s. and buy unnecessary gifts. (that's another thing i wouldn't like about not being single on valentine's day---buying a gift. ugh.) i was going to link back to that awesome video i made you guys for valentine's last year, but it seems to have disappeared from the internet. like, i can't even get the site to load.
anywho, normally i can avoid valentine's day. as stated previously, i'm usually flying solo, so i don't have any of the pressure building up to it. and i just go about my business until the pink and red things disappear from all the stores. but, thanks to my current place of part-time employment and the special v-day treats, i'm constantly reminded of how much i dislike it.
i was recently verifying in my head that it's true that i dislike valentine's day regardless of my status (don't get me wrong -- i do love exchanging valentines, but that's just fun) and i thought about justin from 8th grade who got me like, a dozen roses (that i told my mom were from a secret admirer). i bought him a single fake rose from the school valentine fundraiser. i believe it put me out a whole dollar. even then i wasn't into it.
thinking about justin reminded me of all my elementary school luvs and y'all what was i doing right back then? there was robert, chris mike, freddy, and of course, brian presley. (i believe brian presley *swoon* gave me a couple of stuffed gingerbread valentine people and some jewelry on valentine's day. we were in fifth grade.) i had better relationships from K - 6 than i've had in my twenties. this leads me to my next question: am i benjamin button?
stay with me here. people are still commenting on how young i look. surprised to hear 26 when they are expecting 15. i thought this trend would have died by now, or at least people would stop thinking i'm in my teens. between my youthful looks and my early success in finding loves, how is it that i'm not going through life backwards? what if i don't have anyone like cate blanchett to make out with when i'm a toddler baby old/young person? should i go out to sea?
anywho, normally i can avoid valentine's day. as stated previously, i'm usually flying solo, so i don't have any of the pressure building up to it. and i just go about my business until the pink and red things disappear from all the stores. but, thanks to my current place of part-time employment and the special v-day treats, i'm constantly reminded of how much i dislike it.
i was recently verifying in my head that it's true that i dislike valentine's day regardless of my status (don't get me wrong -- i do love exchanging valentines, but that's just fun) and i thought about justin from 8th grade who got me like, a dozen roses (that i told my mom were from a secret admirer). i bought him a single fake rose from the school valentine fundraiser. i believe it put me out a whole dollar. even then i wasn't into it.
thinking about justin reminded me of all my elementary school luvs and y'all what was i doing right back then? there was robert, chris mike, freddy, and of course, brian presley. (i believe brian presley *swoon* gave me a couple of stuffed gingerbread valentine people and some jewelry on valentine's day. we were in fifth grade.) i had better relationships from K - 6 than i've had in my twenties. this leads me to my next question: am i benjamin button?
stay with me here. people are still commenting on how young i look. surprised to hear 26 when they are expecting 15. i thought this trend would have died by now, or at least people would stop thinking i'm in my teens. between my youthful looks and my early success in finding loves, how is it that i'm not going through life backwards? what if i don't have anyone like cate blanchett to make out with when i'm a toddler baby old/young person? should i go out to sea?
Friday, February 06, 2009
WRC: RoLB - Tchau
Previously - hockey, strippers, Lacey, and crazy brittaney/jasmineva got the boot.
big john gathers everyone around and says that maria had some medical condition and needed to be rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night. yuh oh. i wonder if it had anything to do with how often she stated she was an ex-model. i was pretty repetitious when i had a concussion. big john's all "bret's going to bang her in her hospital bed and then we out." tour must go on, i guess. she probably would've won.
the girls head to chicago where they (and we) yet again have to endure Bret's "show". marcia, as usual, starts drinking early. she also has bruises all over her. what a mess. they are all actually wearing lingerie for this daytime event. for the challenge, they must dismantle and pack a stage in two teams. winning team gets a date and vip treatment. marcia is the odd girl out after teams are chosen, so not only does she not have to do the challenge, but she'll get vip treatment with the winning team. oh piss, i think someone's gonna pee herself. oh, she makes it to the bathroom. phew.
OH SNAP!! Bwahahahaha... So taya ex-penthouse is wrapping cords and directing people like a pro, and bret's telling her to be careful, because she's too sexy for him to lose, and she backs straight of the platform. haha. ouch. i rewind and rewatch about seven times. and then vh1 replays it another five. awesome. she gets right back up all "it's coo" with like, little birdies flying around her head. then she maniacally pulls things apart whilst crying. again, i must repeat, they're all in lingerie.
marcia, idiot, pulls bret aside and tells him she's not in love with him. well, duh, dummy, but you don't tell him. he's just a fragile old man. the red team -- ashley, brittanya, natasha and beverly join marcia for VIP treatment.
have i mentioned that marcia's boobs have been blurred in every frame she's in this challenge? they get lavished with gifts. the losing team gets four cell phones and whoever has the phone that rings bret michael's latest tune (aka the RoL theme song) wins a slot with the VIPs. so basically, bret could only get 6 backstage passes to his own show, and this was the roundabout way of determining the 6. kelsey is the winningest of the losers and poor farrah is stuck with lameoids taya and mindy. she can use the time to think of new catchphrases.
my suspicions were correct! this IS the Rock of Love Bus Tour. i think bret was like "send me on a tour and i'll bang some bitches on camera for you." but neither would exist without the other. what a paradox. like the chicken and the egg. uh oh. marcia gives away her VIP bracelet gift to some random crowd member.
so, bret's a tired old man. he goes to take a nap while his band parties with the girls. ashley spots beverly kissing bret's drummer (after kissing farrah herself, but in bret's world, that doesn't count)
the vips go on their date to some brewery to sample 'bret's brew'. bret brings up beverly and the drummer and she awkwardly denies any memory of that. then he is told of marcia's regifting.
eliminations. beverly thinks she's out. first up is ashley. ashley looks like a mix of Ev from the RR/RW challenge and ellie from degrassi. farrah, natasha, and kelsey are all safe. don't worry guys, all blondes are in. taya is in. at the very least for that spectacular fall. brittanya is also safe. bret sends big john and the remaining passes away, so that everyone thinks three people are getting cut. he gets all dramatic, but eventually saves beverly and mindy. which means brazil is out! as tom cruise would say, Adios!
big john gathers everyone around and says that maria had some medical condition and needed to be rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night. yuh oh. i wonder if it had anything to do with how often she stated she was an ex-model. i was pretty repetitious when i had a concussion. big john's all "bret's going to bang her in her hospital bed and then we out." tour must go on, i guess. she probably would've won.
the girls head to chicago where they (and we) yet again have to endure Bret's "show". marcia, as usual, starts drinking early. she also has bruises all over her. what a mess. they are all actually wearing lingerie for this daytime event. for the challenge, they must dismantle and pack a stage in two teams. winning team gets a date and vip treatment. marcia is the odd girl out after teams are chosen, so not only does she not have to do the challenge, but she'll get vip treatment with the winning team. oh piss, i think someone's gonna pee herself. oh, she makes it to the bathroom. phew.
OH SNAP!! Bwahahahaha... So taya ex-penthouse is wrapping cords and directing people like a pro, and bret's telling her to be careful, because she's too sexy for him to lose, and she backs straight of the platform. haha. ouch. i rewind and rewatch about seven times. and then vh1 replays it another five. awesome. she gets right back up all "it's coo" with like, little birdies flying around her head. then she maniacally pulls things apart whilst crying. again, i must repeat, they're all in lingerie.
marcia, idiot, pulls bret aside and tells him she's not in love with him. well, duh, dummy, but you don't tell him. he's just a fragile old man. the red team -- ashley, brittanya, natasha and beverly join marcia for VIP treatment.
have i mentioned that marcia's boobs have been blurred in every frame she's in this challenge? they get lavished with gifts. the losing team gets four cell phones and whoever has the phone that rings bret michael's latest tune (aka the RoL theme song) wins a slot with the VIPs. so basically, bret could only get 6 backstage passes to his own show, and this was the roundabout way of determining the 6. kelsey is the winningest of the losers and poor farrah is stuck with lameoids taya and mindy. she can use the time to think of new catchphrases.
my suspicions were correct! this IS the Rock of Love Bus Tour. i think bret was like "send me on a tour and i'll bang some bitches on camera for you." but neither would exist without the other. what a paradox. like the chicken and the egg. uh oh. marcia gives away her VIP bracelet gift to some random crowd member.
so, bret's a tired old man. he goes to take a nap while his band parties with the girls. ashley spots beverly kissing bret's drummer (after kissing farrah herself, but in bret's world, that doesn't count)
the vips go on their date to some brewery to sample 'bret's brew'. bret brings up beverly and the drummer and she awkwardly denies any memory of that. then he is told of marcia's regifting.
eliminations. beverly thinks she's out. first up is ashley. ashley looks like a mix of Ev from the RR/RW challenge and ellie from degrassi. farrah, natasha, and kelsey are all safe. don't worry guys, all blondes are in. taya is in. at the very least for that spectacular fall. brittanya is also safe. bret sends big john and the remaining passes away, so that everyone thinks three people are getting cut. he gets all dramatic, but eventually saves beverly and mindy. which means brazil is out! as tom cruise would say, Adios!
Friday, January 30, 2009
WRC: ANTM 12
yo, check out these bitches (there are only a couple that don't seem unbearable or fugs, right? i mean, right?):
cycle 12 girls
via cw
cycle 12 girls
via cw
Thursday, January 29, 2009
<3 moms
i was on my landline phone with me mom yesterday when i heard a wacky noise (it's hard to describe...like a mix of mechanical and reception, whatever that means to you), i then verified if it was only on my side of things, made a joke, and then pulled the phone away from my ear to see if my phone was still connected. when i did this, i accidentally hung the phone up. this is what my mom heard:
Sara: What's that noise? Do you hear that noise? I think aliens are abducting me! *click*
when i called her back, my mom was still laughing. (to be honest, i still chuckle thinking about it.) whence we were done laughing about it, it hit me that i could have actually been abducted by aliens-- all evidence pointed to it -- and my mom's response was to laugh!! between this and the zombie fakeout from last week, i don't know if the world is prepared for when the ACTUAL ZOMBIES AND ALIENS COME. come on, let's get serious about this...because it will happen.
on another mother related note, during the same phone conversation, my mom was telling me of some sort of upcoming teacher institute something or other day that the staff from the elementary schools through high schools have to go to. she was talking about the inconvenience of having to drive across the island to get there very early in the morning, and was considering taking a bus that her neighboring middle school had arranged for (she works at an elementary school). when she was weighing the pros and cons, this came out of her:
"Do I really want to ride with the middle school teachers? You know how crazy middle school teachers can be." (Mom, 2009)
Sara: What's that noise? Do you hear that noise? I think aliens are abducting me! *click*
when i called her back, my mom was still laughing. (to be honest, i still chuckle thinking about it.) whence we were done laughing about it, it hit me that i could have actually been abducted by aliens-- all evidence pointed to it -- and my mom's response was to laugh!! between this and the zombie fakeout from last week, i don't know if the world is prepared for when the ACTUAL ZOMBIES AND ALIENS COME. come on, let's get serious about this...because it will happen.
on another mother related note, during the same phone conversation, my mom was telling me of some sort of upcoming teacher institute something or other day that the staff from the elementary schools through high schools have to go to. she was talking about the inconvenience of having to drive across the island to get there very early in the morning, and was considering taking a bus that her neighboring middle school had arranged for (she works at an elementary school). when she was weighing the pros and cons, this came out of her:
"Do I really want to ride with the middle school teachers? You know how crazy middle school teachers can be." (Mom, 2009)
WRC: RoLB - sorry!
umm..so due to some circumstances, even though i was down to five shows on my dvr, i'm back up to 30 and behind again. instead of giving up on my beloved rock of love bus, though, i'm just giving a brief 'top o' the noodle' the recap of the episode from two weeks ago, and will hopefully have this week's recap to you by sunday. yes no?
blah blah, sluts, boobs, suitcases. bret meets the girls at an ice rink. they must protect baby bret by shooting him into goals worth various points. lacey is back yet again (guess she has some time off from being 'a musician') to lead some school's hockey club against the girls. melissa pops her implant. i'm dead serious. one team with four girls wins, they go to a strip club. beverly is a total beverly about it and, surprise! turns out she has three kids. yikes. the girls are kind of upset about their prize date being at a strip club with zero alone time, but mostly they're excited to be dancing on a real stripper pole. except beverly.
at the hotel everyone's drunk and crazy. brittaney is actually crazy and it turns out she took the girls' sweaty hockey socks and stashed them in her bunk. melissa calls her boyfriend in the middle of the night (idiot) to complain about how she has no connection with bret and how he has extensions and he looks really old. the girls rat on her so at elimination after she tells bret she's not feeling it, he tells her to get the fuck out. then he calls various girls until beverly and brittaney are left. brittaney proves to be too crazy, so she's given the boot. and then she just stands there like a creep, smiling, after everyone is long gone.
blah blah, sluts, boobs, suitcases. bret meets the girls at an ice rink. they must protect baby bret by shooting him into goals worth various points. lacey is back yet again (guess she has some time off from being 'a musician') to lead some school's hockey club against the girls. melissa pops her implant. i'm dead serious. one team with four girls wins, they go to a strip club. beverly is a total beverly about it and, surprise! turns out she has three kids. yikes. the girls are kind of upset about their prize date being at a strip club with zero alone time, but mostly they're excited to be dancing on a real stripper pole. except beverly.
at the hotel everyone's drunk and crazy. brittaney is actually crazy and it turns out she took the girls' sweaty hockey socks and stashed them in her bunk. melissa calls her boyfriend in the middle of the night (idiot) to complain about how she has no connection with bret and how he has extensions and he looks really old. the girls rat on her so at elimination after she tells bret she's not feeling it, he tells her to get the fuck out. then he calls various girls until beverly and brittaney are left. brittaney proves to be too crazy, so she's given the boot. and then she just stands there like a creep, smiling, after everyone is long gone.
Monday, January 26, 2009
toilet paper question
i just glanced at the packaging on the back of my scott extra soft toilet paper and saw the following "common sense tip":
Reduce the fat and calories when baking meatloaf by placing a slice of bread at the bottom of the pan. throw away the grease-soaked bread before serving.
uh...why is this meatloaf tip on the back of toilet paper packaging? did everyone else immediately start thinking about poop?
Reduce the fat and calories when baking meatloaf by placing a slice of bread at the bottom of the pan. throw away the grease-soaked bread before serving.
uh...why is this meatloaf tip on the back of toilet paper packaging? did everyone else immediately start thinking about poop?
Monday, January 19, 2009
WRC: RoLB - weddings!
Previously - there were fake boobs, there was drinking, there were fights. a girl took a shot from another's "shot glass". (fun fact; in one of the songs i wrote for slutfire, there is a line that went "take a drink from my shot glass" wherein shot glass = vagina. the word "shot" was taken out, but the point remains: great minds.)
a girl named megan says she won't get half naked for bret's affection. guys, i bet megan's going home. marcia opts to move to the blue bus with the rest of the brunettes. brittany/jasmineva shows off some more of her crazy. i hope she makes it far on the show. marcia decides that she's not drinking anymore. we'll see. (spoiler alert, she drinks later.) the girls have to write their wedding vows to bret and present him with a gift. he's serious this time, guys. costandina is working on a belly dancing routine. either that or she's constandinly undulating.
they meet bret at a rock 'n roll chapel. he says in the chapel are wedding dresses and "assessories" that they must choose between for their respective weddings. bret wears his tuxedo tank top and the girls take turns walking down the aisle. farrah has borrowed mystery's jamiroquai hat for the occasion. beverly refused to put on the sexy wear and instead chose to be a total beverly and went barefoot, wearing jeans and like, a snowboarding jacket. (turns out it's a motocross jacket.) i think beverly, like bret, might be in it for the girls.
bret chooses the three that most impressed him and they win a group date. he chooses taya (penthouse pet), brittanya (pierced dimples), and farrah (jamiroquai hat) everyone gathers for the reception. each girl gives bret a lap dance. i've been to a birthday party like that. i have pictures.
it's VIP pass time! instant access, whenever, wherever. they must answer a series of riddles to get the passes, but they're all too dumb for this game, so bret just chooses three. The passes go to Natasha (who is black, which will come up later), Brittanya, and Taya. Brittany/Jasmineva is all upset because she gave a good effort trying to answer questions, but she doesn't realize that everyone else thinks she's batshit crazy (she is). she overhears natasha talking about her, so she screams at natasha that bret only chose her because she's black. yuh oh. then, when natasha rightly gets angry at this, brittaney starts crying and says that she can't be racist because her grandfather is black. uh...ok...
the winners of the vow challenge meet bret at a pumpkin patch for a hay ride date. brittanya stupidly uses her VIP pass during this date where she is one of four people.
bret takes time to hang with some of the girls he knows little about. it is here where constandina confesses she took a religious vow not to have "all the way" sex for three years. guys, i think constandina is going home.
eliminations: 3 skanks are getting left. brittanya is called first, others follow until Brittaney, Melissa, Marcia, Constandina, Samantha (?) and Megan remain. he calls down the former three and after much ballyhoo, he says they are safe. so, as predicted, megan and constandina are out, as well as samantha...who i'm really not sure i knew was there in the first place.
a girl named megan says she won't get half naked for bret's affection. guys, i bet megan's going home. marcia opts to move to the blue bus with the rest of the brunettes. brittany/jasmineva shows off some more of her crazy. i hope she makes it far on the show. marcia decides that she's not drinking anymore. we'll see. (spoiler alert, she drinks later.) the girls have to write their wedding vows to bret and present him with a gift. he's serious this time, guys. costandina is working on a belly dancing routine. either that or she's constandinly undulating.
they meet bret at a rock 'n roll chapel. he says in the chapel are wedding dresses and "assessories" that they must choose between for their respective weddings. bret wears his tuxedo tank top and the girls take turns walking down the aisle. farrah has borrowed mystery's jamiroquai hat for the occasion. beverly refused to put on the sexy wear and instead chose to be a total beverly and went barefoot, wearing jeans and like, a snowboarding jacket. (turns out it's a motocross jacket.) i think beverly, like bret, might be in it for the girls.
bret chooses the three that most impressed him and they win a group date. he chooses taya (penthouse pet), brittanya (pierced dimples), and farrah (jamiroquai hat) everyone gathers for the reception. each girl gives bret a lap dance. i've been to a birthday party like that. i have pictures.
it's VIP pass time! instant access, whenever, wherever. they must answer a series of riddles to get the passes, but they're all too dumb for this game, so bret just chooses three. The passes go to Natasha (who is black, which will come up later), Brittanya, and Taya. Brittany/Jasmineva is all upset because she gave a good effort trying to answer questions, but she doesn't realize that everyone else thinks she's batshit crazy (she is). she overhears natasha talking about her, so she screams at natasha that bret only chose her because she's black. yuh oh. then, when natasha rightly gets angry at this, brittaney starts crying and says that she can't be racist because her grandfather is black. uh...ok...
the winners of the vow challenge meet bret at a pumpkin patch for a hay ride date. brittanya stupidly uses her VIP pass during this date where she is one of four people.
bret takes time to hang with some of the girls he knows little about. it is here where constandina confesses she took a religious vow not to have "all the way" sex for three years. guys, i think constandina is going home.
eliminations: 3 skanks are getting left. brittanya is called first, others follow until Brittaney, Melissa, Marcia, Constandina, Samantha (?) and Megan remain. he calls down the former three and after much ballyhoo, he says they are safe. so, as predicted, megan and constandina are out, as well as samantha...who i'm really not sure i knew was there in the first place.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
WRC: Idol 8 - Paula Intoxiwatch
Season premiere - Phoenix, AZ: Pretty sober
Joking with myself:
Blind guy being interviewed by Ryan after making it through to Hollywood: We'll see where it goes.
Me, aloud: Well...you won't. (laughs)
Joking with myself:
Blind guy being interviewed by Ryan after making it through to Hollywood: We'll see where it goes.
Me, aloud: Well...you won't. (laughs)
Labels:
american idol,
paula abdul,
reality corner,
solo joking,
tv
Friday, January 09, 2009
CtS Movie Review: Across the Universe
y'all i'm watching Across the Universe right now and it is SO BAD. i mean, i'd heard it was bad, but i wasn't expecting this. and you all know i don't quit on movies just because they stink. so i decided to swallow this in little bites. since the movie is basically a cornytown, usa reenactment of one beatles song after the other, i decided to watch a song, take a break, then watch through the next song, and continue in this manner. i don't know if you guys know this, but there are a lot of Beatles songs. and i'm only about 45 minutes in (of 2:13). this flick is definitely headed towards the dreaded 1 star rating on netflix.
WRC: Rock of Love Bus - Premiere
Ok, so our buddy Bret has lost two lady loves because he's too much of a rock star, man, to be held down by love. so this season, we're going on tour. the weave is back, the bandanna's back, the diabeetus is back. 20 "hot" girls will join him on tour. i bet you only 2 of them are hot. maybe. at each city, they'll dump some deadweight bitches. wasn't this a challenge on previous rock of loves? big john is also back.
we meet the girls at coyote bar in louisville, kentucky. i'm not gonna commit any names to memory yet because he always wipes out a big number first. there's a girl with pierced dimples. what is the purpose of that? bret says he'll give up if he doesn't find love this season with this silicone sack of winners. bret thinks these girls are gorgeous. *shudder* there's a girl that looks like a mix between angelique and daisy. my eyes!!
there's the requisite backstage pass photo session with noted fashion photographer bret michaels. seriously, these girls are disgusting. umm, daisalique pulls out her lyrics sheet (so she can rap to bret while he takes her picture, obvs) and the words "GENITAL HERPES" are in plain view on the paper. bret tells us he read "genital herpes instructions" another girl also saw "GONORRHEA". Gross. Awesome. this girl that screams penthouse pet and is literally wearing a shirt that says "penthouse pet" tells bret first thing that she's a penthouse pet and acts like it was a secret. her posing pantsless prompts others to bare everything. these poor girls.
bret has a "show" to "get to" so the girls pick between two buses. it seems like the slutty girls choose the pink bus and the "cool girls" (aka brunettes) are on the blue. a fight breaks out on the pink bus because one of the brunettes snuck on. drinks are poured on heads, tears are shed. pan to the awesome blue bus where the down to earth brunettes and one blonde turncoat are havin a grand old time.
after party time! time for some drunk bitches!!! there's drinking, there's fighting, there's name calling. bret comes in without a voice. rock and roll.
uhmmm...oookkayy...so i theenk daisalique took a test tube shot and possibly, uh...took the shot out of another contestant's err, umm, uh, how do you say...vageen.
the girls get to their next hotel and split in their three rooms by the three cliques. as one of the slutty blonds tells us, the cliques are as follows: the blontourage (her clique)--those that are blond (and the brunette with dimple piercings, i think) who make out with each other all the time, the "semi crazy" girls -- the girls that click with the blontourage and probably make out with each other on occasion. and the "zombie girls" which are the rest of the brunettes and 1.5 blonds who probably made out with each other once in college. some girls drink as they wait for bret. and the brazilian one throws up. then she makes out with bret and he loves it. gross.
so then there's another fight. the brazilian throws chips on a blond called ashley. this ashley pours a beer over the brazilian's head. the brazilian chokes her. bad ass.
elimination time. five girls are getting cut. bret says we're doing things differently tonight because of the urgent time constrains of a rigorous bret michaels tour schedule. marcy (brunette), heather (blond/brunette), stephanie (blond member of the brunette team), brittaney (semi-crazy blond), Nikki (Daisalique), Gia (blontourage, vagina shot glass), and Marcia (brazil) are called. the remaining 13 are given their passes and told they are safe. these girls are so drunk. well the blond ones are. marcia the brazilian and her vomit breath are saved. one more herpes-filled slot remains. and that slot goes to brittaney the blond semi-crazy ex-porn star whose listed as "Jasmineva" on fafarazzi. so two hot messes are sent packing along with the 3 brunette members (though 1.5 of them were blond). those three were actually three of the hotter ones too. bret's crazy.
we meet the girls at coyote bar in louisville, kentucky. i'm not gonna commit any names to memory yet because he always wipes out a big number first. there's a girl with pierced dimples. what is the purpose of that? bret says he'll give up if he doesn't find love this season with this silicone sack of winners. bret thinks these girls are gorgeous. *shudder* there's a girl that looks like a mix between angelique and daisy. my eyes!!
there's the requisite backstage pass photo session with noted fashion photographer bret michaels. seriously, these girls are disgusting. umm, daisalique pulls out her lyrics sheet (so she can rap to bret while he takes her picture, obvs) and the words "GENITAL HERPES" are in plain view on the paper. bret tells us he read "genital herpes instructions" another girl also saw "GONORRHEA". Gross. Awesome. this girl that screams penthouse pet and is literally wearing a shirt that says "penthouse pet" tells bret first thing that she's a penthouse pet and acts like it was a secret. her posing pantsless prompts others to bare everything. these poor girls.
bret has a "show" to "get to" so the girls pick between two buses. it seems like the slutty girls choose the pink bus and the "cool girls" (aka brunettes) are on the blue. a fight breaks out on the pink bus because one of the brunettes snuck on. drinks are poured on heads, tears are shed. pan to the awesome blue bus where the down to earth brunettes and one blonde turncoat are havin a grand old time.
after party time! time for some drunk bitches!!! there's drinking, there's fighting, there's name calling. bret comes in without a voice. rock and roll.
uhmmm...oookkayy...so i theenk daisalique took a test tube shot and possibly, uh...took the shot out of another contestant's err, umm, uh, how do you say...vageen.
the girls get to their next hotel and split in their three rooms by the three cliques. as one of the slutty blonds tells us, the cliques are as follows: the blontourage (her clique)--those that are blond (and the brunette with dimple piercings, i think) who make out with each other all the time, the "semi crazy" girls -- the girls that click with the blontourage and probably make out with each other on occasion. and the "zombie girls" which are the rest of the brunettes and 1.5 blonds who probably made out with each other once in college. some girls drink as they wait for bret. and the brazilian one throws up. then she makes out with bret and he loves it. gross.
so then there's another fight. the brazilian throws chips on a blond called ashley. this ashley pours a beer over the brazilian's head. the brazilian chokes her. bad ass.
elimination time. five girls are getting cut. bret says we're doing things differently tonight because of the urgent time constrains of a rigorous bret michaels tour schedule. marcy (brunette), heather (blond/brunette), stephanie (blond member of the brunette team), brittaney (semi-crazy blond), Nikki (Daisalique), Gia (blontourage, vagina shot glass), and Marcia (brazil) are called. the remaining 13 are given their passes and told they are safe. these girls are so drunk. well the blond ones are. marcia the brazilian and her vomit breath are saved. one more herpes-filled slot remains. and that slot goes to brittaney the blond semi-crazy ex-porn star whose listed as "Jasmineva" on fafarazzi. so two hot messes are sent packing along with the 3 brunette members (though 1.5 of them were blond). those three were actually three of the hotter ones too. bret's crazy.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Casting Bag: Fires of Rome "Set in Stone"
This casting notice caught my eye because of my ethnic ambiguity/miscellaneous princessness. but then i continued reading and figured it would be better suited for the casting bag:
Non-Union Actress: Female, ethnically ambiguous, 18-30 for a stylized slow motion music video. You will be dancing in headdress with Afghan hounds in front of small, low velocity wind machine. Must dance and move well.
Non-Union Actress: Female, ethnically ambiguous, 18-30 for a stylized slow motion music video. You will be dancing in headdress with Afghan hounds in front of small, low velocity wind machine. Must dance and move well.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
the mystery of brandi c
my tv tastes range from the trashiest lows to the classiest highs, so forgive me for stepping into the dumpster for a second here. i was watching the rock of love: charm school reunion last night like a classy lady (btw, prepare yourself for rock of love bus. with names like Brittanya, Constandina and Jasmineva, how can it not be in reality corner) and something very odd happened. Megan was brought down to the stage for her time with Sharon. first let me share my feelings about megan--
it is hard not to hate her, but it is also hard to not think about how much she's fucking with people because the producers asked her to (rumor is she was dating one of the producers for a while). there are times i hate her, but also times that i love her. she is not what she seems -- she's brilliant and hilarious and at times she can be awesome, but she's definitely a villain. so, proving how much she gives a shit, she stumbled onto the stage drunker than i've ever seen her. that's saying a lot, considering that her two staples on her three shows have been a bikini and a drink in her hand. so first of all, as she's getting out of her seat to head to the stage, brandi c is next to her SOBBING. this, on the contrary, is not saying a lot, because brandi c is always crying about something like her puppy just died. nobody on screen paid this any mind, so i just kind of forgot about it. UNTIL megan's interview with sharon (just before she insulted ozzy and sharon threw a drink on her and kicked her ass) -- this is when i heard brandi c scream-crying in the background. from the sound of it, she had been taken backstage. again, nobody on camera acknowledged this at all. when they panned back to the gaggle of contestants in their seats, brandi c was mysteriously absent.
did anybody see/notice this? what was brandi c freaking out about? did she know megan was trashed, which could only lead to trouble? (brandi c and megan's bff-ness is a love story for the ages) did her puppy actually die? will i ever know the answer?
it is hard not to hate her, but it is also hard to not think about how much she's fucking with people because the producers asked her to (rumor is she was dating one of the producers for a while). there are times i hate her, but also times that i love her. she is not what she seems -- she's brilliant and hilarious and at times she can be awesome, but she's definitely a villain. so, proving how much she gives a shit, she stumbled onto the stage drunker than i've ever seen her. that's saying a lot, considering that her two staples on her three shows have been a bikini and a drink in her hand. so first of all, as she's getting out of her seat to head to the stage, brandi c is next to her SOBBING. this, on the contrary, is not saying a lot, because brandi c is always crying about something like her puppy just died. nobody on screen paid this any mind, so i just kind of forgot about it. UNTIL megan's interview with sharon (just before she insulted ozzy and sharon threw a drink on her and kicked her ass) -- this is when i heard brandi c scream-crying in the background. from the sound of it, she had been taken backstage. again, nobody on camera acknowledged this at all. when they panned back to the gaggle of contestants in their seats, brandi c was mysteriously absent.
did anybody see/notice this? what was brandi c freaking out about? did she know megan was trashed, which could only lead to trouble? (brandi c and megan's bff-ness is a love story for the ages) did her puppy actually die? will i ever know the answer?
Labels:
brandi c,
charm school,
megan,
questions,
reality corner,
rock of love,
trashy
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Subway Spotlight: Holiday Harry
All of our subway spotlights are special treasures, and holiday harry is no exception. how fitting that he get illuminated on this first official day of winter (right? it's like today, right?)
holiday harry caught my eye in the wee hours of sundee morn on an F train into brooklyn. he walked on wearing his santa hat with a melodica placed firmly in position. he then started in on a holiday medley, with the following songs flowing into each other in the following order:
Flinstones theme
Addams Family theme
Happy Birthday (to Jesus, one assumes)
Hava Nagila
For he's a Jolly Good Fellow (again, probs about jesus)
We Wish You a Merry Christmas
Tequila
Deck the Halls
Silent Night
The First Noel
Silver Bells
and finishing off with a little Charge
Happy Holidays, Holiday Harry! Thanks for brightening up my 3am. Speaking of 3am...i was walking home from the train a little after that hour, when i spotted (but barely, since he was in all white) this fellow standing in the middle of the street, surrounded by falling snow, staring into nothingness. do you think he was starting his day, ending it, or just taking a mid-sleep breath of fresh air?
holiday harry caught my eye in the wee hours of sundee morn on an F train into brooklyn. he walked on wearing his santa hat with a melodica placed firmly in position. he then started in on a holiday medley, with the following songs flowing into each other in the following order:
Flinstones theme
Addams Family theme
Happy Birthday (to Jesus, one assumes)
Hava Nagila
For he's a Jolly Good Fellow (again, probs about jesus)
We Wish You a Merry Christmas
Tequila
Deck the Halls
Silent Night
The First Noel
Silver Bells
and finishing off with a little Charge
Happy Holidays, Holiday Harry! Thanks for brightening up my 3am. Speaking of 3am...i was walking home from the train a little after that hour, when i spotted (but barely, since he was in all white) this fellow standing in the middle of the street, surrounded by falling snow, staring into nothingness. do you think he was starting his day, ending it, or just taking a mid-sleep breath of fresh air?
Thursday, December 11, 2008
numbers and things
i got a call on my cell phone earlier today from a number and area code i didn't recognize. i have a rule where i don't answer a call from number I don't know, so i let it go to voicemail. no message was left, which made me think it was a wrong number. I googled the area code to see where this person was calling from, and it belonged somewhere in Colorado. i know no Coloradoaieans (that's a word, right?). A couple hours later I decided to google the full number because it's rare that i get mystery calls on my cell that don't leave a message. So i insert the number into my search box (hehe, box):
303.586.6399
and several pages pop up of the "Report this phone number" variety. Apparently it's some sort of scam and everyone's pissed because everyone's on the Do Not Call list (as am I). And it seems as though this phone call is going around, like, this week. has anyone else gotten this call?
secondly, while i'm here, can i just talk about the pick up artist for a second? i finally watched the finale. finally finale. and, like...SIMEON?! For REAL? listen, the crop this season was nothing to throw your panties at, but simeon is a MASTER PICK UP ARTIST now? He's such a creep! why were the two finalists the ones with my most hated openers? the caper one matt loves that becca pointed out. and simeon's awkwardly delivered: "Hey, what movie is this from? Nobody. puts baby in a corner." Kosmo looks positively genius next to these guys. and at least when kosmo won, there was a marked difference from beginning to end. Simeon is still a bundle of creepy energy and now his ego is inflated.
something else worth mentioning-- when the guys were doing their field test, one of them had cornered a few girls, but was hesitating on making the move to invite them to his bedroom. (The challenge was to invite a girl back to the bedroom and seduce her) Mystery, watching with his wingpeople, says "Take what's yours." TAKE WHAT'S YOURS he says! because these dorks learned some stupid game and way of talking, once they approach a group of girls, those girls are rightfully theirs. because they are men and they choose their womenfolk. it has nothing to do with what the girl wants. right?
lastly -- i'm trying to caffeine it up today since i'm barely crawling through. i had a poor excuse for coke from the fountain earlier, and i couldn't go back. when i was getting my lunch, i decided to try out the Cherry Coke Zero, because, why not. and you know what guys...it really isn't so bad. Cherry coke!! With no calories!!
oh wait, one more... Lastly for realz-- i think i might have to retire the jeans i'm wearing today to "walking around the abode" wear. i knew it was wearing thin in that dreaded thigh spot, but it wasn't until just a second ago when i realized there's a half-dollar sized window to my skin on the right leg, and another slightly smaller one on the left. if i wear these in public again, i'm going to end up pregnant. man, my pants never used to wear in that area! i used to have to retire pants when the knees got huge holes in them. and now the thigh hole seems to be happening to all my pants at once! (or at least all the pants i've had for the last four years.) i don't need this many cutoffs! unless i were a never-nude...
303.586.6399
and several pages pop up of the "Report this phone number" variety. Apparently it's some sort of scam and everyone's pissed because everyone's on the Do Not Call list (as am I). And it seems as though this phone call is going around, like, this week. has anyone else gotten this call?
secondly, while i'm here, can i just talk about the pick up artist for a second? i finally watched the finale. finally finale. and, like...SIMEON?! For REAL? listen, the crop this season was nothing to throw your panties at, but simeon is a MASTER PICK UP ARTIST now? He's such a creep! why were the two finalists the ones with my most hated openers? the caper one matt loves that becca pointed out. and simeon's awkwardly delivered: "Hey, what movie is this from? Nobody. puts baby in a corner." Kosmo looks positively genius next to these guys. and at least when kosmo won, there was a marked difference from beginning to end. Simeon is still a bundle of creepy energy and now his ego is inflated.
something else worth mentioning-- when the guys were doing their field test, one of them had cornered a few girls, but was hesitating on making the move to invite them to his bedroom. (The challenge was to invite a girl back to the bedroom and seduce her) Mystery, watching with his wingpeople, says "Take what's yours." TAKE WHAT'S YOURS he says! because these dorks learned some stupid game and way of talking, once they approach a group of girls, those girls are rightfully theirs. because they are men and they choose their womenfolk. it has nothing to do with what the girl wants. right?
lastly -- i'm trying to caffeine it up today since i'm barely crawling through. i had a poor excuse for coke from the fountain earlier, and i couldn't go back. when i was getting my lunch, i decided to try out the Cherry Coke Zero, because, why not. and you know what guys...it really isn't so bad. Cherry coke!! With no calories!!
oh wait, one more... Lastly for realz-- i think i might have to retire the jeans i'm wearing today to "walking around the abode" wear. i knew it was wearing thin in that dreaded thigh spot, but it wasn't until just a second ago when i realized there's a half-dollar sized window to my skin on the right leg, and another slightly smaller one on the left. if i wear these in public again, i'm going to end up pregnant. man, my pants never used to wear in that area! i used to have to retire pants when the knees got huge holes in them. and now the thigh hole seems to be happening to all my pants at once! (or at least all the pants i've had for the last four years.) i don't need this many cutoffs! unless i were a never-nude...
Labels:
cherry coke,
finale,
mysteries,
pick up artist,
reality corner,
telemarketers,
tv
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
wake me up before you go-go
As you all know I’ve never really been a coffee drinker. This is hurting me right now as I am nearing the end of my latest 16-day workathon. For starters, I look like shit right now. I could be straight out of the Nightmare Before Christmas or Corpse Bride. I should put curtains over all the mirrors in my apartment. I caught a glimpse of my visage this morning before leaving for the day and I almost yelped in fear. I think this is probably the longest streak I’ve done...I did 12 days a couple weeks ago, but 16 is a harsh mistress. I seem to be mildly narcoleptic, falling asleep whenever I’m seated. I get a nice nap in on the hour commute to and from times square, I’m still passing out on my couch whilst trying to whittle down my dvr list, and the other day I came very, very close to falling asleep sitting at the computer. At work. In my defense, the floor I work on keeps the lights off and the temperature down. So I was snuggled in my scarf. I also wear these big headphones so it’s like I was shut out from the world, in a cold scarfy womb.
Because of this, I was faced with a dilemma. I needed to wake up. Since I quit the daily drinking of Coke (and the fountain soda offered in the building is usually less than impressive), that option flew out the window. The Energy Vitamin Water that I normally count on to wake me up (and take me to the pee room at least seven times throughout the day) wasn’t available where I purchased my bagel that morning. I headed to the pantry to check out my options. My first choice, delicious Milky Way hot chocolate, did nothing but fill my stomach with deliciousness. Before breaking out the big guns (and possibly a slew of other problems) by getting myself a cup of coffee, I opted for some green tea. You should also know that I’m not really a tea drinker either. However, it did the job with only the minor side effect of bad green tea breath.
I have three and a half more days to crawl through. If any of you see me (or have seen me in the last two weeks), please don’t be frightened. Soon I will be whole again. aka not scary looking.
Because of this, I was faced with a dilemma. I needed to wake up. Since I quit the daily drinking of Coke (and the fountain soda offered in the building is usually less than impressive), that option flew out the window. The Energy Vitamin Water that I normally count on to wake me up (and take me to the pee room at least seven times throughout the day) wasn’t available where I purchased my bagel that morning. I headed to the pantry to check out my options. My first choice, delicious Milky Way hot chocolate, did nothing but fill my stomach with deliciousness. Before breaking out the big guns (and possibly a slew of other problems) by getting myself a cup of coffee, I opted for some green tea. You should also know that I’m not really a tea drinker either. However, it did the job with only the minor side effect of bad green tea breath.
I have three and a half more days to crawl through. If any of you see me (or have seen me in the last two weeks), please don’t be frightened. Soon I will be whole again. aka not scary looking.
Labels:
coffee,
narcolepsy,
sleep,
tired,
vitamin water,
work
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Prop 8 the Musical
my brother shared this with me and i just can't keep it to myself. there are at least 20 reasons this video is awesome. care to add any more???
See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
