Previously - there were fake boobs, there was drinking, there were fights. a girl took a shot from another's "shot glass". (fun fact; in one of the songs i wrote for slutfire, there is a line that went "take a drink from my shot glass" wherein shot glass = vagina. the word "shot" was taken out, but the point remains: great minds.)
a girl named megan says she won't get half naked for bret's affection. guys, i bet megan's going home. marcia opts to move to the blue bus with the rest of the brunettes. brittany/jasmineva shows off some more of her crazy. i hope she makes it far on the show. marcia decides that she's not drinking anymore. we'll see. (spoiler alert, she drinks later.) the girls have to write their wedding vows to bret and present him with a gift. he's serious this time, guys. costandina is working on a belly dancing routine. either that or she's constandinly undulating.
they meet bret at a rock 'n roll chapel. he says in the chapel are wedding dresses and "assessories" that they must choose between for their respective weddings. bret wears his tuxedo tank top and the girls take turns walking down the aisle. farrah has borrowed mystery's jamiroquai hat for the occasion. beverly refused to put on the sexy wear and instead chose to be a total beverly and went barefoot, wearing jeans and like, a snowboarding jacket. (turns out it's a motocross jacket.) i think beverly, like bret, might be in it for the girls.
bret chooses the three that most impressed him and they win a group date. he chooses taya (penthouse pet), brittanya (pierced dimples), and farrah (jamiroquai hat) everyone gathers for the reception. each girl gives bret a lap dance. i've been to a birthday party like that. i have pictures.
it's VIP pass time! instant access, whenever, wherever. they must answer a series of riddles to get the passes, but they're all too dumb for this game, so bret just chooses three. The passes go to Natasha (who is black, which will come up later), Brittanya, and Taya. Brittany/Jasmineva is all upset because she gave a good effort trying to answer questions, but she doesn't realize that everyone else thinks she's batshit crazy (she is). she overhears natasha talking about her, so she screams at natasha that bret only chose her because she's black. yuh oh. then, when natasha rightly gets angry at this, brittaney starts crying and says that she can't be racist because her grandfather is black. uh...ok...
the winners of the vow challenge meet bret at a pumpkin patch for a hay ride date. brittanya stupidly uses her VIP pass during this date where she is one of four people.
bret takes time to hang with some of the girls he knows little about. it is here where constandina confesses she took a religious vow not to have "all the way" sex for three years. guys, i think constandina is going home.
eliminations: 3 skanks are getting left. brittanya is called first, others follow until Brittaney, Melissa, Marcia, Constandina, Samantha (?) and Megan remain. he calls down the former three and after much ballyhoo, he says they are safe. so, as predicted, megan and constandina are out, as well as samantha...who i'm really not sure i knew was there in the first place.