preevs: marcia was wasted all the time, most likely to make the idea of hooking up with bret palatable. but that didn't work so she went home.
the girls head to st. louis. ashley and farrah decide to hate natasha because they don't like her face or her low "man voice". bret isn't feeling a special-time connection with any of the girls, so he cooks up a scheme. the girls are taken to the hustler club and ashley feels excited and comforted at the sight of stripper poles. bret brings out three girls that are "in need of makeovers" and assigns one to each group. let's just say the wardrobe people could've done a more convincing job here. it must be the same stylists that turned the girls fug for RoL: Charm School. the winning captain gets a date with bret. Jamie comes out and bret praises her bralessness. then he says that bras should never have been invented. do you think he's ever seen natural boobs that had been braless lifelong? i don't. jenny comes out, followed by kami -- who looks a little like megan mullally, but not in any sort of positive way.
bret chooses all three as winners, so he'll go on a date with all the cap'ns. god forbid he ever has to go on a date with just one person. he also says that the three new girls will join them on the tour. some girls are stunned, others clap. bret's ego is bruised by the clappers.
natasha says she doesn't mind making friends here. so you know she's probably going home, because rule 1 of reality tv is that you aren't there to make friends. ashley goes to bret and airs her complaints about this plot twist. she also says she thinks natasha's a man. she thinks she wears tutus all the time to hide her junk. she complains about not getting time with bret, so he says he'll make time for her.
the team cap'ns go on a riverboating date, and bret proposes that he may just like these 3 in a friends with benefits way and not a relationship way. meaning, he'll bang them, but he doesn't like being around them. bret takes mindy aside and tells her he thinks she's awesome. they make out and the way it starts is seriously one of the grossest kisses i've ever seen. bret tilts his head, opens his mouth, then moves in.
the three new girls go to the others to try and make friends and brittanya flips the fuck out. bret comes back from his date and hangs with the "3 news". beverly confronts bret about his motive behind bringing the new girls. bret then basically admits he did this to get a rise out of the girls, but was pissed when they clapped at his announcement. he throws a fit and goes to hang out with ashley on the bus. he sings her a bad song, tells her he likes her in a "hot sexy girlfriend way", then presumably bangs her.
woah, speaking of WO-man, farrah, you are not so ladylike without all your makeup. new girls get new jeans and a bowling date. they tell bret how brittanya got all crazy, so bret gets turned on. then they tell him how she said she'd hit kami and doesn't care if that would send her home. that's another ego bruising.
bret is in the weight room and brittanya comes in and what. is. she. wearing. it's like...what. a belt with suspenders made out of tinsel. for real. that's it. i would've loved to see her eye this in the store, hold it out and consider it, hold it up to her body to see if it 'fits'. bret's all "talk to me" and brittanya speaks her mind. meaning, she has not a thing to say. finally, he prompts her to talk about her feelings about the new girls. she's not happy about it.
eliminations. the new girls are all safe, as is ashley. bret then calls mindy, taya, beverley, kelsey, and farrah. this leaves natasha and brittanya. but only one of them is wearing a belt with suspenders which, unlike the tutu, leaves little room to imagine any unwanted male parts. natasha goes home and dimples is safe another week.