Friday, January 11, 2008

Winter Reality Corner: American Gladiators

Y'all. I have just been omg-ing OUT! When i was a wee lass, American Gladiators was one of my favorite shows. I loved it so much and I wanted to be on it when I grew up. (This would make more sense if you knew me circa ages 5 - 14...I used to be pretty athletic. No i'm not making that up.) I loved it so much that when Nickelodeon made their kiddie knock-off Guts, I was elated. Now i didn't have to wait until I grew up. Sadly, this dream never came true...however, another one did. Earlier this week, nbc relaunched american gladiators and it is possibly the most awesome thing that ever existed. disregard the poorly scripted nanomoments and laila ali's stiff delivery, and try to enjoy hulk hogan as part of the bigger picture. as for the gladiators themselves? the chicks are not as scary as they used to be (though there are a couple...fury, stealth -- i'm looking at you)...a couple of them are pretty hot. most of the dudes i want to lick. or eat gummi bears off their abs (again, save for a couple). take half of what makes MXC so good (the hilarious/unintentional physical body damage the contestants take, not the hilarious overdubbing) plus all the shiny lights...i'm too overstimulated! in the best way possible! watch how the gladiators just toss the undermatched scrawny little contestants that off of that pyramid!! oh, and in the very first episode, the very first match, the team blue woman injured herself to the point where she had to have her alternate come in for her. Wow! Those Gladiladys sure gave her quite the beating, you say? Why no, she was running from a Gladilady towards her bucket of balls (i still pretend i'm depositing balls in those buckets when i throw trash away) and lost her footing. FOR SHAME!

god i love american gladiators.

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