Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Tales of Brooklyn Wooing

When it comes to random guys in nyc catcalling or mumbling something like "i'll show you what you're missing baby" as they pass, i think my good friend cyanide put it best when she said that it's something that you never quite get used to around here. in general, i hate it. it does not make me feel pretty or loved. sometimes, the things a dude comes up with are pretty hilarious and i will laugh out loud (or LOL) as i pass them....it's like, if you had one sentence to try and woo some random girl passing you in the street, you'd think you'd come up with something better than "hey baby" or "i likes what i sees*" (*- this one unfortunately has never personally happened to me, but a girl can dream)...it's like...do they really think i'm gonna turn on a dime, throw my arms around them and say "wow, nobody has ever said anything that romantic to me before! i'm all yours!" who does it benefit? but i digress...so yeah, usually it's annoying, sometimes its hilarious, if they catch me at the right time it might make my day a little better, but this rarely happens. however, if you throw in free stuff, we're in a whole new ballgame.

my love of subway sandwiches is no secret, so you can imagine my joy when i moved into a new neighborhood last summer and found a subway sandwich shoppe a mere three blocks from my apartment. (coincidentally, there is also a subway train station at the same place. imagine the possible hilarious mixups!) however, i've been turned off from this subway since it seems to have erratic, fly-by-night hours. twice i've gone there before nine, with the flourescent sign flashing open, gotten one foot in the door, and some 18 year old worker is in there chatting up some girls as he turns to the door and says 'we're closed'. shady, i know. unfortunately, since i got back from my trip sunday night to an empty refrigerator, haven't had time to make it to the grocery store, and have already exhausted the only two other food options in my neighbeehood that i'm aware of, i thought i'd give the subway a try. after all, i was going before 8, and no subway in its right mind would close by then. i walk over and see the open sign, fully expecting to have to just pick something up at the grocery store anyway, walk in and see the 18 year old kid stacking chairs and cleaning and start to get discouraged. i make it through the door and all the way into the eatery without anyone telling me that it's closed. success! i wait behind some other dudes in line as a sandwich artiste i've never seen before keeps eyeing me whilst serving them. when my turn comes, he keeps shooting me smiles and being overly friendly. i coach myself to be prepared to respond that i have a boyfriend (being perpetually single and having an aversion to lying, i get myself in a lot of awkward situations). he asks if i'm spanish, i respond that i'm mexican. he then says "beautiful...you're beautiful" so i thank him and tell him what toppings i'd like. he then says "well someone has to tell you." i thank him again and ask for mayo. he finishes up my sandwich and rings it up, totalling a mysteriously low $4.00. i pull my hands out of my pockets to get my wallet and he says "oh so you don't have one. i was waiting to see your hand." great, now i have to start wearing a fake wedding ring around. i'm at that age. he continues "well you can take me out anytime." i laugh uncomfortably. i pay my four dollars and he gives me a huge drink cup for free. i thank him again and go to fill up my deliciously free large beverage. i turn to leave and he says "want any cookies or chips?". I respond 'no thanks. maybe next time.'

ok great. i got some free shit and could've had more. cool. but if this goes the way of the gyro man from park slope, i might have one less eatery in kensington. i guess my question is this: do i get myself in these situations because i just can't bring myself to lie to a stranger about an imaginary significant other, because i accept free gifts (who wouldn't?), or because i unnecessarily offer hope for a future? or like, all of the above?


becca said...

i smell boyfriend!....oh wait, it's just that subway bready smell.

Ricky said...


maybe they're all confusing a look of hunger with lusty eyes.

Sara said...

that would clear up A LOT

christine said...

milk it milk it milk it!

i, as you know and quoted, HATE interactions like this, cuz, as you said, what are you supposed to do? but in this case, i say make sure not to go around when his shift is ending ( although given the erratic nature of this subway, maybe easier said than done), so he can't offer to "walk" you "home" or anything, and then enjoy your discount sandwiches.

but yeah then if it gets dicey, say, yes i'll have a cookie for my big beefy bohunk that just got out of prison, thanks.

BUT if things don't get dicey, perchance he can slip a sliced jalepeno over your left ring finger, if you catch my drift.