caption from brother, screenshot from fourfour. speaking of fourfour, check out this post- not only is there a jade update, but there's so much top model info that you should just go there and read it instead of me telling you what it says.
Friday, November 30, 2007
i can has?
in honor of poor heather's antm departure, i wanted to do something special to let her and the world know that i'm still on team heather (even though i dropped her from my team...7th place bitches!!) brainstorming with my brother, i thought it might be a genius idea to make a website devoted to her filled with all lolheathers and it would be called "icanhasassburger.com"...my brother made the very good point that it would be difficult to make a whole website out of just that. i helped validate his point by adding "especially if she's never on any other shows". so we'll start slow...and who knows, maybe one day it could be filled with a variety of peeps (i'm sure at least one of the kid nation kids could qualify).
caption from brother, screenshot from fourfour. speaking of fourfour, check out this post- not only is there a jade update, but there's so much top model info that you should just go there and read it instead of me telling you what it says.
caption from brother, screenshot from fourfour. speaking of fourfour, check out this post- not only is there a jade update, but there's so much top model info that you should just go there and read it instead of me telling you what it says.
FRC: ANTM - As-BYE-gers
Heather laments her position in the previous panel's bottom two and everyone tries to make a big deal about how heather had to do a line by line reading for her commercial. umm, every cycle at least three girls have to do this. chill.
the challenge this week is go-sees. (eee!) they each get a translator to help them with the cab, but once out of the car, they must find the place on their own. heather has extreme difficulty with this. i think her and jenah will be in the bottom with heather going home. calling it. bianca does really well, chantal does alright (aside from forgetting to wear nude underoos on go-see day. idiot.) and saleisha gets called dull by one desinger (snap!). jenah gets told that her walk was terrible. saleisha makes it back to the agency first and bianca gets in just under the wire. the rest of the girls are LATE!!! will they ever learn? they get thrown into a fiery pit as punishment. jenah was fifteen minnutes late with chantal five minutes behind her. heather i think came in the next day. she somehow misplaced her cab. or, as she adorably kept calling it, her "cabbie". bianca wins the challenge and gets to appear in the 2008 beijing olympics ad. weird...because the picture they used has nothing to do with olympics or beijing.
the shoot this week will be photographed by the sexy nigel barker. the girls must stand out amongst chinese lions and dragons. (o mai!) jenah pulls a caridee and says something stupid to nigel. none of the girls seem to have knocked it out of the park on this one.
the judges like chantal's picture, love bianca's body language (but not her facial expression), are nervous about jenah's personality, loved everything about saleisha, and are surprised by heather's sexy. four girls are going to beijing and one girl is going home.
saleisha is called first, followed by bianca and chantal. jenah is not very likeable and heather has asperger's, but the two-time curse gets heather this week (watch your back next time jenah), so jenah gets to go to beijing. evil bianca gets a hint of a smile on her face. HOWEVER, when heather is hugging bianca goodbye, bianca affectionately grabs heather's chin. LOVERS! who wants to bet that heather will continue getting covergirl of the week?
on a side note...isn't it weird how the fadeout picture with two blond salts and two short haired peppers make it seem like we're all seeing double?
on another side note: Thanks to my wife for pointing it out, I am 7th on the leaderboard with my antm fantasy team for this week's scores! wooo!! i'm still 501st place overall, but for the week, i'm a star! i even got a trophy for my genius efforts.
the challenge this week is go-sees. (eee!) they each get a translator to help them with the cab, but once out of the car, they must find the place on their own. heather has extreme difficulty with this. i think her and jenah will be in the bottom with heather going home. calling it. bianca does really well, chantal does alright (aside from forgetting to wear nude underoos on go-see day. idiot.) and saleisha gets called dull by one desinger (snap!). jenah gets told that her walk was terrible. saleisha makes it back to the agency first and bianca gets in just under the wire. the rest of the girls are LATE!!! will they ever learn? they get thrown into a fiery pit as punishment. jenah was fifteen minnutes late with chantal five minutes behind her. heather i think came in the next day. she somehow misplaced her cab. or, as she adorably kept calling it, her "cabbie". bianca wins the challenge and gets to appear in the 2008 beijing olympics ad. weird...because the picture they used has nothing to do with olympics or beijing.
the shoot this week will be photographed by the sexy nigel barker. the girls must stand out amongst chinese lions and dragons. (o mai!) jenah pulls a caridee and says something stupid to nigel. none of the girls seem to have knocked it out of the park on this one.
the judges like chantal's picture, love bianca's body language (but not her facial expression), are nervous about jenah's personality, loved everything about saleisha, and are surprised by heather's sexy. four girls are going to beijing and one girl is going home.
saleisha is called first, followed by bianca and chantal. jenah is not very likeable and heather has asperger's, but the two-time curse gets heather this week (watch your back next time jenah), so jenah gets to go to beijing. evil bianca gets a hint of a smile on her face. HOWEVER, when heather is hugging bianca goodbye, bianca affectionately grabs heather's chin. LOVERS! who wants to bet that heather will continue getting covergirl of the week?
on a side note...isn't it weird how the fadeout picture with two blond salts and two short haired peppers make it seem like we're all seeing double?
on another side note: Thanks to my wife for pointing it out, I am 7th on the leaderboard with my antm fantasy team for this week's scores! wooo!! i'm still 501st place overall, but for the week, i'm a star! i even got a trophy for my genius efforts.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Gossip Girl Insight of the Week
Mom Van der Woodsen says there's nothing wrong with Chinese food on Thanksgiving, which...may be true, but I can say from experience 'good luck finding a chinese restaurant open on turkey day'.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
FRC: ANTM/PR
China!
The girls are packing to go to china and bianca gets irritated at heather. i'm so curious about the relationship between these two because at first glance, it seems as though they don't get along. heather annoys bianca, so bianca is mean in return. but then there are shots of the two of them having a heart to heart or bianca giving heather advice. but bianca's pretty evil so maybe this is as much as a black nub heart like hers can love.
in shanghai, the girls show off their ni hao...what we'll soon learn is the only word they were prepared with. they go to their awesome penthouse and are greeted by tyra mail. i will not repeat the joke i made at this point to my brother, but he and i can just take a moment to remember that. and i'm back. the six run to their room and find that there are five beds...four twin and one super king. saleisha decides she wants me to hate her by claiming the king and being unwilling to share with heather (caught without a bed). saleisha sticks with her decision and says she won't share a bed unless it's with a male. oh, but you'll shower with everyone? weird. why doesn't someone just tell her to take a twin so someone else can share? she's being such an on purpose brat. the worst kind. bianca calls heather a joke.
chantal wins me over by helping heather out. bianca and jenah say they'll share so everyone can have a bed. see that? she was mean but she helped. bianca says that heather needs to learn how to stand up for herself. as evil as she is, she's usually right.
the girls go to shanghai studios to learn martial arts stuff. they must perform these positions whilst being hoisted in the air by a huge crane and four men. here's where we learn that bianca now has a fear of heights. jenah and chantal are first. they suck. lisa and saleisha are next. lisa works through her fear of heights. bianca and heather are next and bianca is not confident she'll be able to do it. she flips out and hilariously ponders how she can trust the four guys when she doesn't even trust some family members. heather tries to talk her through it. bianca makes a feeble attempt at going off the ground, but then screams to be taken down and is disqualified. heather goes alone and is impressive enough to win the challenge. she must've been thankful for chantal's earlier chivalry, because she chooses to share her shopping spree challenge win with chantal. ouch for bianca, who couldn't stop talking about wanting to go shopping. heather says she would've picked bianca but it was time to dole out the tough love. heather and bianca are secretly in love i bet.
it's time for another covergirl commercial. this time though, they don't have to do it in a foreign language. they are subpar as usual. ackshuloly, saleisha and chantal are decent. heather is particularly bad.
heather is covergirl of the week again. the judges loved chantal's commercial and shoot. they think heather's pic was great but were discouraged by her commercial. j. alexander thinks saleisha has plateaued. nigel doesn't like jenah as a person. the judges think bianca is beautiful but could be more.
chantal is called first, followed by saleisha, bianca and then jenah. lisa has died inside and heather has asperger's, so lisa goes home. next week: go-sees. i think it'll be between heather and...i wanna say chantal, but she shows personality better than jenah. hm...do any of you have predictions?
sarah jessica parker
i'm not gonna do a full project runway recap here because i just got home from oklahoma yesterday and it's late right now...so...basically it wasn't exciting enough for me to want to sit through again. off the top of my head...sarah jessica parker commissioned a two piece affordable outfit that "may be" put in her 'bitten' line. similar to the miss america pageant dress last season, they all had to pitch to sjp individually and she chose half that she would like to see made. from there, the chosen ones picked teammates and had 15 dollars to realize their designs (the outfit had to retail for $40). some of these guys were hyperventillating all over themselves about sjp. i'm not gonna remember what all the teams were...but i think victorya won (correct me if i'm wrong) and the bottom teams were carmen and marco (i think his real name is christian, but he reminds me of the gay kid from degrassi) and marion and steven. marion and steven were more boring, and the atrocity came from the mind of marion, so he went home. did i miss anything?
The girls are packing to go to china and bianca gets irritated at heather. i'm so curious about the relationship between these two because at first glance, it seems as though they don't get along. heather annoys bianca, so bianca is mean in return. but then there are shots of the two of them having a heart to heart or bianca giving heather advice. but bianca's pretty evil so maybe this is as much as a black nub heart like hers can love.
in shanghai, the girls show off their ni hao...what we'll soon learn is the only word they were prepared with. they go to their awesome penthouse and are greeted by tyra mail. i will not repeat the joke i made at this point to my brother, but he and i can just take a moment to remember that. and i'm back. the six run to their room and find that there are five beds...four twin and one super king. saleisha decides she wants me to hate her by claiming the king and being unwilling to share with heather (caught without a bed). saleisha sticks with her decision and says she won't share a bed unless it's with a male. oh, but you'll shower with everyone? weird. why doesn't someone just tell her to take a twin so someone else can share? she's being such an on purpose brat. the worst kind. bianca calls heather a joke.
chantal wins me over by helping heather out. bianca and jenah say they'll share so everyone can have a bed. see that? she was mean but she helped. bianca says that heather needs to learn how to stand up for herself. as evil as she is, she's usually right.
the girls go to shanghai studios to learn martial arts stuff. they must perform these positions whilst being hoisted in the air by a huge crane and four men. here's where we learn that bianca now has a fear of heights. jenah and chantal are first. they suck. lisa and saleisha are next. lisa works through her fear of heights. bianca and heather are next and bianca is not confident she'll be able to do it. she flips out and hilariously ponders how she can trust the four guys when she doesn't even trust some family members. heather tries to talk her through it. bianca makes a feeble attempt at going off the ground, but then screams to be taken down and is disqualified. heather goes alone and is impressive enough to win the challenge. she must've been thankful for chantal's earlier chivalry, because she chooses to share her shopping spree challenge win with chantal. ouch for bianca, who couldn't stop talking about wanting to go shopping. heather says she would've picked bianca but it was time to dole out the tough love. heather and bianca are secretly in love i bet.
it's time for another covergirl commercial. this time though, they don't have to do it in a foreign language. they are subpar as usual. ackshuloly, saleisha and chantal are decent. heather is particularly bad.
heather is covergirl of the week again. the judges loved chantal's commercial and shoot. they think heather's pic was great but were discouraged by her commercial. j. alexander thinks saleisha has plateaued. nigel doesn't like jenah as a person. the judges think bianca is beautiful but could be more.
chantal is called first, followed by saleisha, bianca and then jenah. lisa has died inside and heather has asperger's, so lisa goes home. next week: go-sees. i think it'll be between heather and...i wanna say chantal, but she shows personality better than jenah. hm...do any of you have predictions?
sarah jessica parker
i'm not gonna do a full project runway recap here because i just got home from oklahoma yesterday and it's late right now...so...basically it wasn't exciting enough for me to want to sit through again. off the top of my head...sarah jessica parker commissioned a two piece affordable outfit that "may be" put in her 'bitten' line. similar to the miss america pageant dress last season, they all had to pitch to sjp individually and she chose half that she would like to see made. from there, the chosen ones picked teammates and had 15 dollars to realize their designs (the outfit had to retail for $40). some of these guys were hyperventillating all over themselves about sjp. i'm not gonna remember what all the teams were...but i think victorya won (correct me if i'm wrong) and the bottom teams were carmen and marco (i think his real name is christian, but he reminds me of the gay kid from degrassi) and marion and steven. marion and steven were more boring, and the atrocity came from the mind of marion, so he went home. did i miss anything?
Sunday, November 18, 2007
FRC: KN - catch up
oh my god guys, i wish more of you watched kid nation, because shit is going doooowwwnnn!!!! i've finally caught up with the goings on and we've got ourselves quite the cliff hanger. are you kind of excited for a possible all male council of DK, Blaine, Greg, and Michael?!? THE DRAMA!!!!
gold stars have gone to DK, Nathan (homeschooled), Kennedy (some weirdo that i'm sure we won't hear from again) and Blaine (finally out of greg's shadow and looking great in yellow). one kid has gone home (Randi, yellow, 11) and DK almost did before guylan talked him into staying.
gold stars have gone to DK, Nathan (homeschooled), Kennedy (some weirdo that i'm sure we won't hear from again) and Blaine (finally out of greg's shadow and looking great in yellow). one kid has gone home (Randi, yellow, 11) and DK almost did before guylan talked him into staying.
FRC: ANTM - Model Wasteland
Heather is super bummed over Sarah's departure and is taking it a lot harder than any pervious oustings. The first Tyramail has the word aMUSE in it and chantal thinks that tyra is going to teach them how to be inspiring. if only it were that easy, chantal. benny ninja is back AGAIN and seriously, B, cool it. Thrice is enough. the girls have some sort of project runway challenge where they pair up with fashion design students and make a dress out of an existing large, matronly dress. oh yeah, make fun of the fatties now that sarah is gone. lisa's designer asks her about herself and she says she "likes to draw and show her legs." well, the stripper thing gets clearer and clearer each day, doesn't it. the winner of the challenge will appear in some jewelry ad in their holiday issue.
on the runway, the girls must tell the crowd some backstory about the design, which trips heather up. lisa also does miserably. bianca and jenah do well in my opinion, but the judges choose saleisha as a winner. she chooses bianca and lisa to be in the shoot with her. heather takes the judges criticism rather harshly and it affects her 'tude for the rest of the evening and for the next day's photo shoot.
there is some weird and stupid (and questionable..do they always shower together?) shower drama and heather flips her shit.
the girls go out to the desert (but not to, as a friend suggested, make a spice girls video) and are told that they will be photographed with a flaming car.
BIANCA - looks awesome...pigford-arc in full effect
HEATHER - is kind of lost. the poor challenge performance and evaluation killed her confidence, but its her first misstep. the pic is not terrible, but its definitely not her best.
CHANTAL - anything but modest. turns out a great photo though.
SALEISHA - her hair looks cute like this.
AMBREAL - go home!
JENAH - fab as usual. the pic is great.
LISA - does not do a fantastic job here.
there's more stupid shower shit that's just heather redirecting her frustration.
PANEL:
During the judge introductions, there are weird chinese dragon puppets randomly popping up in the background. then a big ol' lion comes prancing out. a chinese one that's really people, not like, mufasa. tyra announces that they are all going to china!!!! guys with swords come out, there is general ado. it's no "australia, hop to it!!" but she's trying. tyra breaks the news that someone still has to get the fuck out though. bianca is called first, followed by jenah, saleisha, chantal, and heather. its between lisa and ambreal. like there's any question. see ya ambreal.
so a few weeks ago, i was so fed up with dropping someone from my team who would then earn mad points, that i decided i would revert to my original team and leave it alone. well, i never reverted back to my original three (lisa, saleisha, heather) but i've left it alone with bianca, lisa, and heather. this team has gotten me some points, but my original three have really been raking it in recently and of course i'm kicking myself for not going back. my wife made a good point that commercials are next (and probs in a foreign language) which doesn't bode well for heather. since we're down to a low number, should i satart playing the game again? should i forgive jenah for being fug in real life and stunning in pics and just put her on my team already? does any of this matter? honestly though, i think it'll be between chantal and lisa going home next week...and i think the top three will be bianca, saleisha, and jenah. do you guys have top three predictions yet?
on the runway, the girls must tell the crowd some backstory about the design, which trips heather up. lisa also does miserably. bianca and jenah do well in my opinion, but the judges choose saleisha as a winner. she chooses bianca and lisa to be in the shoot with her. heather takes the judges criticism rather harshly and it affects her 'tude for the rest of the evening and for the next day's photo shoot.
there is some weird and stupid (and questionable..do they always shower together?) shower drama and heather flips her shit.
the girls go out to the desert (but not to, as a friend suggested, make a spice girls video) and are told that they will be photographed with a flaming car.
BIANCA - looks awesome...pigford-arc in full effect
HEATHER - is kind of lost. the poor challenge performance and evaluation killed her confidence, but its her first misstep. the pic is not terrible, but its definitely not her best.
CHANTAL - anything but modest. turns out a great photo though.
SALEISHA - her hair looks cute like this.
AMBREAL - go home!
JENAH - fab as usual. the pic is great.
LISA - does not do a fantastic job here.
there's more stupid shower shit that's just heather redirecting her frustration.
PANEL:
During the judge introductions, there are weird chinese dragon puppets randomly popping up in the background. then a big ol' lion comes prancing out. a chinese one that's really people, not like, mufasa. tyra announces that they are all going to china!!!! guys with swords come out, there is general ado. it's no "australia, hop to it!!" but she's trying. tyra breaks the news that someone still has to get the fuck out though. bianca is called first, followed by jenah, saleisha, chantal, and heather. its between lisa and ambreal. like there's any question. see ya ambreal.
so a few weeks ago, i was so fed up with dropping someone from my team who would then earn mad points, that i decided i would revert to my original team and leave it alone. well, i never reverted back to my original three (lisa, saleisha, heather) but i've left it alone with bianca, lisa, and heather. this team has gotten me some points, but my original three have really been raking it in recently and of course i'm kicking myself for not going back. my wife made a good point that commercials are next (and probs in a foreign language) which doesn't bode well for heather. since we're down to a low number, should i satart playing the game again? should i forgive jenah for being fug in real life and stunning in pics and just put her on my team already? does any of this matter? honestly though, i think it'll be between chantal and lisa going home next week...and i think the top three will be bianca, saleisha, and jenah. do you guys have top three predictions yet?
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Gossip Girl Insight of the Week
We all know I loves me some Gossip Girl, but I must reproduce a quote here that's really spot on. I obsessively read TWOP's recaps for about 60% of the shows i watch because usually they're funny...though sometimes i read them to get tidbits of info that i missed during the show. Basically, I read enough of these that I have favorite recappers (Potes, M. Giant) and ones that I don't love as much (Jacob). Jacob does the American Idol Recaps as well as Gossip Girl and is prone to ridiculous self-indulgent tangents and i just want to reach through the screen sometimes and say "all i want is a hilarious recap, don't try and wow me with your weird brain!!" anyway, i would just stop reading them, but I watch gossip girl with a group of 3 to 7 girls every week and i have a hard time following the story sometimes, so Jacob keeps me in check. Here is something he said about last week's ep that is so hilariously true, i wanted to share it with other gg fans out there to see if you guys agree:
right?
I am so confused by the timeline of this show because sometimes they're at school and it's the middle of the night and sometimes half of them are at school and the other half are at a strip club and sometimes they're having dinner before or during breakfast. The snow is constantly coming down in June on this show.
right?
FRC: Project Runway
Alrighty. Welcome back PR! There wasn't anything too thrilling this episode, so we'll just kind of use this as an introduction to our cast based on our first glances of them...
RAMI KASHOU - bald and foreign
CHRIS - John Goodman
ChRISTIAN SIRIANO - i hate him based only on his asymmetric haircut
JILLIAN LEWIS - wears cute things, that's gotta be good
KIT "PISTOL" SCARBO - blond
KEVIN CHRISTIANA - joey fatone + javier bardem
JACK MACKENROTH - stud
STEVEN ROSENGARD - apparently just missed out being a contestant last year
SIMONE LeBLANC - cool name
ELISA JIMENEZ - uh oh. one of the crazies i fear. what was the name of that unbearable one last year?
MARION LEE - a boy
RICKY LIZALDE - wears black
"SWEET P" VAUGHN - is this how olive oyl's baby turned out?
...i've missed one here i think...there should be 15....OH! i think it's the asian one - VICTORYA HONG - asian.
The first challenge requires the contestants to choose from loads of fabric options ($50,000 worth) within ten minutes. Once they're back at their stations they have about 12 hours to design something that reflects their style. BORING. you're giving them actual fabric?!?
So far, watching the contestants work, I am taken by Rami and Jack's dresses in particular.
The models are sent in (already assigned) for fitting and final touches. tim gunn also points out the bluefly.com accessory wall. the models are dressed and sent through the works for the first runway show. everything goes by too fast for me to comment on each thing, so i'll just bring out the six for you.
ELISA - lea - that train was a BAD idea. Bottom 3.
SIMONE - lauren - nothing special. and also, fug. Bottom 3
RICKY - wendy - produces a nice dress, but could've done better. Bottom 3
CHRISTIAN - lisa - his outfit reminds me of a terrier. something a terrier would wear. Top 3.
VICTORYA - jacqueline - cute black dries that ties the arms down. Top 3.
RAMI - ashley - dress looks gorgeous! Top 3.
Rami wins the challenge and immunity. Christian, Victorya and Ricky are all safe. It's between cool name and crazy...but we all know that crazy makes good tv, so elise is safe and Simone gets auf'd.
i started my team too late for the first ep, but hopefully i can jump right back in.
RAMI KASHOU - bald and foreign
CHRIS - John Goodman
ChRISTIAN SIRIANO - i hate him based only on his asymmetric haircut
JILLIAN LEWIS - wears cute things, that's gotta be good
KIT "PISTOL" SCARBO - blond
KEVIN CHRISTIANA - joey fatone + javier bardem
JACK MACKENROTH - stud
STEVEN ROSENGARD - apparently just missed out being a contestant last year
SIMONE LeBLANC - cool name
ELISA JIMENEZ - uh oh. one of the crazies i fear. what was the name of that unbearable one last year?
MARION LEE - a boy
RICKY LIZALDE - wears black
"SWEET P" VAUGHN - is this how olive oyl's baby turned out?
...i've missed one here i think...there should be 15....OH! i think it's the asian one - VICTORYA HONG - asian.
The first challenge requires the contestants to choose from loads of fabric options ($50,000 worth) within ten minutes. Once they're back at their stations they have about 12 hours to design something that reflects their style. BORING. you're giving them actual fabric?!?
So far, watching the contestants work, I am taken by Rami and Jack's dresses in particular.
The models are sent in (already assigned) for fitting and final touches. tim gunn also points out the bluefly.com accessory wall. the models are dressed and sent through the works for the first runway show. everything goes by too fast for me to comment on each thing, so i'll just bring out the six for you.
ELISA - lea - that train was a BAD idea. Bottom 3.
SIMONE - lauren - nothing special. and also, fug. Bottom 3
RICKY - wendy - produces a nice dress, but could've done better. Bottom 3
CHRISTIAN - lisa - his outfit reminds me of a terrier. something a terrier would wear. Top 3.
VICTORYA - jacqueline - cute black dries that ties the arms down. Top 3.
RAMI - ashley - dress looks gorgeous! Top 3.
Rami wins the challenge and immunity. Christian, Victorya and Ricky are all safe. It's between cool name and crazy...but we all know that crazy makes good tv, so elise is safe and Simone gets auf'd.
i started my team too late for the first ep, but hopefully i can jump right back in.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
kid nation - mini recap
so i know that sara's not covering kid nation any more, but last night i watched like 12 hours of tv and ended up watching a bit of CTS's fave - kid nation.
honestly, there's only a very short moment in the show that i'd like to comment on.....and it probably has less to do with the kids and more to do with the editors.
i'm going to warn everyone now by saying that - this may be one of those things that is only funny to becca and not to anybody else. there are many of these things that only i find funny....like the time i saw a guy in a subway station in paris having a lengthy phone conversation on a banana. apparently, since the guy was insane, i was an asshole for laughing. i also enjoy america's funniest home videos....and poop jokes.
ok- back to kid nation. so the kids are all pissed off because they mix up the teams and the red team gets a cute little nerdy kid who apparently doesn't pull his weight or something and they all go nuts. what's funny is that this other kid gets all angry and yells at their team leader and then goes outside and throws some sticks into a fire and screams to no one in particular (the camera man i guess) - "i don't want to live with the new kid! he sings in his sleep!". then there's a transitional shot of their cabin at night with nobody around all you hear is the sound of a kid singing some uninteligible song (if i could give it a genre i would say that it sounds like a medieval christmas carol sung in falsetto by a muppet), and then you hear another kid scream...."SHUT UP!!!!". End Scene.
That was the best 10 seconds of the entire 12 hours of tv I watched yesterday.
honestly, there's only a very short moment in the show that i'd like to comment on.....and it probably has less to do with the kids and more to do with the editors.
i'm going to warn everyone now by saying that - this may be one of those things that is only funny to becca and not to anybody else. there are many of these things that only i find funny....like the time i saw a guy in a subway station in paris having a lengthy phone conversation on a banana. apparently, since the guy was insane, i was an asshole for laughing. i also enjoy america's funniest home videos....and poop jokes.
ok- back to kid nation. so the kids are all pissed off because they mix up the teams and the red team gets a cute little nerdy kid who apparently doesn't pull his weight or something and they all go nuts. what's funny is that this other kid gets all angry and yells at their team leader and then goes outside and throws some sticks into a fire and screams to no one in particular (the camera man i guess) - "i don't want to live with the new kid! he sings in his sleep!". then there's a transitional shot of their cabin at night with nobody around all you hear is the sound of a kid singing some uninteligible song (if i could give it a genre i would say that it sounds like a medieval christmas carol sung in falsetto by a muppet), and then you hear another kid scream...."SHUT UP!!!!". End Scene.
That was the best 10 seconds of the entire 12 hours of tv I watched yesterday.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
FRC: ANTM - Plus size time
do you guys also like to watch the opening credits and, in addition to saying "gone" after the booted ones are shown, reminisce about those awful days when mila and victoria (veronica?) were around?
ambreal blahs about how ebony should be there and not her, and i agree. i personally think tyra should have just cut them both loose. sarah blahs about how her possibly losing weight (though she doesn't see it) is affecting her standing. is thems the plus size bells i hear chiming? cut to: chantal saying she can do no wrong. and here we have chantal's first strike. i think we've also got a good idea of our bottom two already. bianca continues lashing out by backhanding heather (but i'm sure she's just a kitten under all those mean words. one of those hairless ones, but a kitten nonetheless.)
the girls are taken to a ballet studio where there are the blandest, most unflattering nude colored leotards that the girls must put on. the tights come up to the natural waist, and the long-sleeved scoop neck does nothing but complete their Band Aid look. tyra comes out OF COURSE in a fancy nicer ballet get up. a magenta skirt, black spaghetti strap v neck top, black pantyhose and leg warmers. what i would've given to see her in that sausage thing the girls were punished with. i'm half expecting some tabloid to discover that she's hiding a youngerberry tree and that she is being sustained by the energy and youth of these girls.
tyra teaches the girls how to move. ugh. ambreal sucks. tyty teaches the sexy wall slide and oh my god i love heather, but she should stay away from the sexy wall slide....it looks like she learned how to sexy wall slide from a bear named baloo. then she brings out a bunch of knee pads and says "On your knees it's bj time!!" jk. they sexy crawl.
there's a hilarious moment back at the house where all the skinny girls are griping about their weight and bianca says that she weighs the most in the house and sarah goes "Really, Bianca? You really wanna do this?"aww, i love sarah. even though her friend choice was sometimes suspect.
the girls are taken to a theater where bianca tells us that famous music video director Jessy terrero is there. a week ago i would've said "who?" but i just worked on one of his music videos so i have actually heard of him. ca-razy. in lieu of a photo shoot, the girls are all going to be in an enrique iglesias music vid, with two girls getting featured based on absolutely nothing but whom enrique wants to bone hardest. am i right?! chantal strike 2s herself with some comment. the theme of the video is vampires...but i don't get an idea of the plot. i think it's something like 'the tale of sexy vampires whom enrique iglesias wants to bone". lisa is the primary pick (they were told at first that only one girl would be featured) and heather the second.
JENAH - the judges are underwhelmed. she was at the top too long...needed a break anyway.
HEATHER - does really well but faints and spazzes out during the final group scene. she hadn't eaten all day. yet sarah's the one with the weight problem.
CHANTAL - confident, but sucks today.
AMBREAL - please. mercy kill. tyra thought her take on the wall slide was too hoochie. if heather got the wall slide it would've been baloo-chie.
LISA - i expected better from a stripper, but the judges thought she did great.
SARAH - i thought she looked hot, but she was self-conscious about her bod. nigel brings up sarah's weight issue again almost verbatim and weirdly pretending like it's the first time it's come up. weird. what if they made her go through that every week until they decided when plus size time would come.
SALEISHA - surprised tyra with her range.
BIANCA - did weird kissy faces.
Chantal gets her third strike and is banished to the bottom 2. i didn't notice this the first time i saw the episode, but tyra doesn't seem to know anything about this music video during panel. there's a lot of post audio work and her talking about it really vaguely. i wonder if she knew anything at all before showing up for the day.
heather is covergirl of the week for the millionth time in a row.
lisa is called first, sarah and chantal are last two. sarah is being punished by the curse of the plus size contestant, and chantal was maybe getting too cocky. there's a distant chiming and sarah is sent home. sarah LOSES IT. poor thing. a girl was never more sad to not be fatter. tyra sucks.
ambreal blahs about how ebony should be there and not her, and i agree. i personally think tyra should have just cut them both loose. sarah blahs about how her possibly losing weight (though she doesn't see it) is affecting her standing. is thems the plus size bells i hear chiming? cut to: chantal saying she can do no wrong. and here we have chantal's first strike. i think we've also got a good idea of our bottom two already. bianca continues lashing out by backhanding heather (but i'm sure she's just a kitten under all those mean words. one of those hairless ones, but a kitten nonetheless.)
the girls are taken to a ballet studio where there are the blandest, most unflattering nude colored leotards that the girls must put on. the tights come up to the natural waist, and the long-sleeved scoop neck does nothing but complete their Band Aid look. tyra comes out OF COURSE in a fancy nicer ballet get up. a magenta skirt, black spaghetti strap v neck top, black pantyhose and leg warmers. what i would've given to see her in that sausage thing the girls were punished with. i'm half expecting some tabloid to discover that she's hiding a youngerberry tree and that she is being sustained by the energy and youth of these girls.
tyra teaches the girls how to move. ugh. ambreal sucks. tyty teaches the sexy wall slide and oh my god i love heather, but she should stay away from the sexy wall slide....it looks like she learned how to sexy wall slide from a bear named baloo. then she brings out a bunch of knee pads and says "On your knees it's bj time!!" jk. they sexy crawl.
there's a hilarious moment back at the house where all the skinny girls are griping about their weight and bianca says that she weighs the most in the house and sarah goes "Really, Bianca? You really wanna do this?"aww, i love sarah. even though her friend choice was sometimes suspect.
the girls are taken to a theater where bianca tells us that famous music video director Jessy terrero is there. a week ago i would've said "who?" but i just worked on one of his music videos so i have actually heard of him. ca-razy. in lieu of a photo shoot, the girls are all going to be in an enrique iglesias music vid, with two girls getting featured based on absolutely nothing but whom enrique wants to bone hardest. am i right?! chantal strike 2s herself with some comment. the theme of the video is vampires...but i don't get an idea of the plot. i think it's something like 'the tale of sexy vampires whom enrique iglesias wants to bone". lisa is the primary pick (they were told at first that only one girl would be featured) and heather the second.
JENAH - the judges are underwhelmed. she was at the top too long...needed a break anyway.
HEATHER - does really well but faints and spazzes out during the final group scene. she hadn't eaten all day. yet sarah's the one with the weight problem.
CHANTAL - confident, but sucks today.
AMBREAL - please. mercy kill. tyra thought her take on the wall slide was too hoochie. if heather got the wall slide it would've been baloo-chie.
LISA - i expected better from a stripper, but the judges thought she did great.
SARAH - i thought she looked hot, but she was self-conscious about her bod. nigel brings up sarah's weight issue again almost verbatim and weirdly pretending like it's the first time it's come up. weird. what if they made her go through that every week until they decided when plus size time would come.
SALEISHA - surprised tyra with her range.
BIANCA - did weird kissy faces.
Chantal gets her third strike and is banished to the bottom 2. i didn't notice this the first time i saw the episode, but tyra doesn't seem to know anything about this music video during panel. there's a lot of post audio work and her talking about it really vaguely. i wonder if she knew anything at all before showing up for the day.
heather is covergirl of the week for the millionth time in a row.
lisa is called first, sarah and chantal are last two. sarah is being punished by the curse of the plus size contestant, and chantal was maybe getting too cocky. there's a distant chiming and sarah is sent home. sarah LOSES IT. poor thing. a girl was never more sad to not be fatter. tyra sucks.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
cts travel report: austin
this weekend, i headed down to austin, T to see these things three (yeah i rhymed. what of it?):
-my former (and now defunct band) play their first and final show
-the screening of an early cut of a short film i was in last summer
-my wife
the first leg of my flight was from JFK to minneapolis. I woke up at 7:30 (after having two more drinks than i said i was gonna have the night before) in order to have enough time to get ready, take the hour and a half subway ride (seven bucks beats fifty any day) and be at the airport about an hour and a half before the flight. Point is, i was tired. so i immediately went to sleep. i was arisen from a possible openmouth slumber (that i always try to play off on the plane but what's the point) by horrid screeching and squawking; the demon sounds of two young girls...laughing. through the course of the three hour flight, into slumber and ripped out again like a fucking dementor was sucking my soul, i gathered enough information to piece together what was going on. believe you me, the first two or three times, i seriously jolted awake like 'whathafuh?!'
The source of hell's banshees was located directly behind me, emanating from twin 8-year old girls watching tom & jerry, a treat that was only reserved for plane journeys. and judging by the pure primal screech laughter coming from those girls, they really looked forward to their plane journeys. this was not the child's laughter that people claim as their favorite sound or noise. it was a laugh that made me want to stick shards of glass in my ears and chew on the spare pieces. and it was constant throughout the entire flight. luckily, the second leg to austin kind of made up for it when i had no seatmate and could move into my little loveseat.
Anyway, the actual slutfire show was amazing and not just in a hilarious way. i want to buy the cd and the tshirt and its not just because i wrote one of the songs and was on the tshirts. a rough cut of kazoo was screened and aside from not being able to stop thinking about how fat i looked in it, i was pleased with the outcome. that same night, there were two other acts on the bill that were also pretty enjoyable.
the rest of the weekend was also a blast, and not just because people kept telling me i was pretty...or because we went to a coffee shop that i immediately noticed was the setting used for the Day Game episode of the pick up artist. there's something about hanging out at houses and driving to and fro in a car (and compliments) that i really look forward to whenever i leave the city. also, the ol' ball and chain really cracks me up. we wrote a couple new lines for some songs to more accurately reflect the state of the world ("whatta man whatta man whatta man whatta mediocre man. Say it again now!") and how top model contestants should really lower their expectations ("Wanna be in a car show? Na na na na na na"). also, this exchange happened:
martinez-dawes: I just want to be as cool as you are.
dawes-martinez: but you ARE as cool as me am.
austin, texas rating: four golden jabbas
-my former (and now defunct band) play their first and final show
-the screening of an early cut of a short film i was in last summer
-my wife
the first leg of my flight was from JFK to minneapolis. I woke up at 7:30 (after having two more drinks than i said i was gonna have the night before) in order to have enough time to get ready, take the hour and a half subway ride (seven bucks beats fifty any day) and be at the airport about an hour and a half before the flight. Point is, i was tired. so i immediately went to sleep. i was arisen from a possible openmouth slumber (that i always try to play off on the plane but what's the point) by horrid screeching and squawking; the demon sounds of two young girls...laughing. through the course of the three hour flight, into slumber and ripped out again like a fucking dementor was sucking my soul, i gathered enough information to piece together what was going on. believe you me, the first two or three times, i seriously jolted awake like 'whathafuh?!'
The source of hell's banshees was located directly behind me, emanating from twin 8-year old girls watching tom & jerry, a treat that was only reserved for plane journeys. and judging by the pure primal screech laughter coming from those girls, they really looked forward to their plane journeys. this was not the child's laughter that people claim as their favorite sound or noise. it was a laugh that made me want to stick shards of glass in my ears and chew on the spare pieces. and it was constant throughout the entire flight. luckily, the second leg to austin kind of made up for it when i had no seatmate and could move into my little loveseat.
Anyway, the actual slutfire show was amazing and not just in a hilarious way. i want to buy the cd and the tshirt and its not just because i wrote one of the songs and was on the tshirts. a rough cut of kazoo was screened and aside from not being able to stop thinking about how fat i looked in it, i was pleased with the outcome. that same night, there were two other acts on the bill that were also pretty enjoyable.
the rest of the weekend was also a blast, and not just because people kept telling me i was pretty...or because we went to a coffee shop that i immediately noticed was the setting used for the Day Game episode of the pick up artist. there's something about hanging out at houses and driving to and fro in a car (and compliments) that i really look forward to whenever i leave the city. also, the ol' ball and chain really cracks me up. we wrote a couple new lines for some songs to more accurately reflect the state of the world ("whatta man whatta man whatta man whatta mediocre man. Say it again now!") and how top model contestants should really lower their expectations ("Wanna be in a car show? Na na na na na na"). also, this exchange happened:
martinez-dawes: I just want to be as cool as you are.
dawes-martinez: but you ARE as cool as me am.
austin, texas rating: four golden jabbas
Saturday, November 10, 2007
becca's unintentional joke of the week
On Thursday, I went into my local hardware store to buy some screws. I went up to the counter and told the guy that I'd like a box of screws, and his response to me is, "all our screws are loose!"....and so I responded with, "haha, i think we all have a few screws loose here if you know what i mean!". bad-um-bum......
crickets.
and then the hardware store guy says,"we only sell our screws individually". feeling like the loony tune the guy obviously thought i was - i bought three screws.
believe it or not, i actually tried to joke with him again. when he told me that my purchase would be $.20 total, i said something along the lines of, "you drive a hard bargain buddy!".
deafening silence.
word to the wise: hardware stores and improvisational comedy routines do not mix.....that's the nuts and bolts of it. am i right people? anybody? nothing? tough crowd!
crickets.
and then the hardware store guy says,"we only sell our screws individually". feeling like the loony tune the guy obviously thought i was - i bought three screws.
believe it or not, i actually tried to joke with him again. when he told me that my purchase would be $.20 total, i said something along the lines of, "you drive a hard bargain buddy!".
deafening silence.
word to the wise: hardware stores and improvisational comedy routines do not mix.....that's the nuts and bolts of it. am i right people? anybody? nothing? tough crowd!
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
i'm a failure
here i am with an apology and blame...i've had a couple days where i've been up 21-23 hours, a couple weekend days that i've been working, blah blah blah, point is i'm still not all caught up with my dvr or with kid nation. now, i was never planning on doing a top model recap for last week because it was a clip show, but i am going to have to postpone kid nation again (show me hands of anyone who cares). when i do get back on track with that, i'll do a brief summary of what we missed...but it also might not come back considering project runway starts next week, and i'll probably drop kid nation if i can't do all three. (why must they all be on wednesday?!)
as an apology, check out this music video that becca and i were in. our screentime was a total of about 5 seconds, but it's a cute vid and you can see how much becca and i love each other.
CLICK HERE!
also, if you check out Slutfire's myspace page, you'll see they have two new songs up. because of geographic differences, i'm no longer playing in the band, but i did write "ugly roadie". yes!
i'll be back to form soon i hope.
as an apology, check out this music video that becca and i were in. our screentime was a total of about 5 seconds, but it's a cute vid and you can see how much becca and i love each other.
CLICK HERE!
also, if you check out Slutfire's myspace page, you'll see they have two new songs up. because of geographic differences, i'm no longer playing in the band, but i did write "ugly roadie". yes!
i'll be back to form soon i hope.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Monday, November 05, 2007
a short halloween crime drama
since we are all still coming down from our post halloween sugar highs - here's one last halloween post for the year......and it's vintage story, dating back to the early 1990s....it's not that funny simply because it's true.
so after trick or treating my brother and i would meticulously go about counting how much candy we got. i would simply throw mine back in my trick-or-treat bag, while my brother would continue to separate every candy by type into very well organized little groups on his bedroom floor. we came home from school the next day excited to dig into our candy stash when my brother realizes that lo and behold someone had eaten every last one of his tootsie rolls. they had however, left every other candy untouched! it was before ambien hit the markets.....so it wasn't mom sleep eating.....there was only one person in our house it could have been, and that was this sly little fox:
don't let that cute little teddy bear face fool you...mazie was a gangster. man, back in my day - it was a dog eat tootsie roll world out there.
so after trick or treating my brother and i would meticulously go about counting how much candy we got. i would simply throw mine back in my trick-or-treat bag, while my brother would continue to separate every candy by type into very well organized little groups on his bedroom floor. we came home from school the next day excited to dig into our candy stash when my brother realizes that lo and behold someone had eaten every last one of his tootsie rolls. they had however, left every other candy untouched! it was before ambien hit the markets.....so it wasn't mom sleep eating.....there was only one person in our house it could have been, and that was this sly little fox:
don't let that cute little teddy bear face fool you...mazie was a gangster. man, back in my day - it was a dog eat tootsie roll world out there.
Friday, November 02, 2007
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Idiots deserve to be lost
Last night, as I was heading to meet my friends for a halloween good time, I was stopped by a Julie Chen-looking lady (aka the chenbot, host of big brother) asking which direction Bleecker was in. Since i had just exited the subway, it was taking me a couple seconds to get my bearings, so as i was thinking, i responded with an "uhhh..." which i guess can be interpreted as "i don't know"...however, when she followed up her question with "or Lafayette?", I was knocked back into my right mind, got my bearings and said "that way!" (with the enthusiasm implied by an exclamation point) and pointed her in the correct direction. Pleased with myself for helping out a fellow human, i waited on the corner for the walk signal to come on so i could continue on my way. Out of the corner of my eye, i saw her kind of huddle into the man she was with and then the two made an about face and started walking in the direction opposite from what i pointed. I don't know if it was because I was dressed up as Dora the Explorer and looked 6 years old, or if it was the extended "uuhhhhh..." before i committed to the answer, but as they tried to sneakily cross behind me and i heard the Chenbot say to her mate "i KNOW that Bleeker is this way." Ok, first of all, bitch, if you KNEW bleeker was that way, why the hell did you ask me? and second of all, bitch, bleeker was NOT that way and i hope you spent the entire night searching in the wrong area and you missed whatever douchebag party you were headed to. and then i hope when you realized your mistake, and that you should've listened to that little dora on the street corner, i hope your man dumped you.
after a few minutes of fuming over this, i was able to enjoy my evening. some highlights included the best duo ever dressed as a couple Thundercats (i'll post a picture when i get a chance to upload it)...not only did they have the bods for it, but they also made the costumes themselves. I also appreciated a girl named haley dressed as an american apparel ad and a dude on the train dressed as Hulk Hogan. he got points for commitment, since his lower half was only covered by yellow wrestling speedos. he also got points for putting up with all the shit he was getting from dudes that were clearly not as secure in their manhood as he whilst riding the train.
and finally, completely unrelated, i opened up the cnn website today and was greeted with a headline that made me giggle. Officer shot in donut shop robbery dies ..not the dying aspect of it, of course. and then i outright laughed when i thought more about a cop meeting his maker in a donut shop. and then i actually clicked on the article and read it and i got sad.
but i mean...it's still kind of funny right?
after a few minutes of fuming over this, i was able to enjoy my evening. some highlights included the best duo ever dressed as a couple Thundercats (i'll post a picture when i get a chance to upload it)...not only did they have the bods for it, but they also made the costumes themselves. I also appreciated a girl named haley dressed as an american apparel ad and a dude on the train dressed as Hulk Hogan. he got points for commitment, since his lower half was only covered by yellow wrestling speedos. he also got points for putting up with all the shit he was getting from dudes that were clearly not as secure in their manhood as he whilst riding the train.
and finally, completely unrelated, i opened up the cnn website today and was greeted with a headline that made me giggle. Officer shot in donut shop robbery dies ..not the dying aspect of it, of course. and then i outright laughed when i thought more about a cop meeting his maker in a donut shop. and then i actually clicked on the article and read it and i got sad.
but i mean...it's still kind of funny right?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)