Tuesday, November 13, 2007

FRC: ANTM - Plus size time

do you guys also like to watch the opening credits and, in addition to saying "gone" after the booted ones are shown, reminisce about those awful days when mila and victoria (veronica?) were around?

ambreal blahs about how ebony should be there and not her, and i agree. i personally think tyra should have just cut them both loose. sarah blahs about how her possibly losing weight (though she doesn't see it) is affecting her standing. is thems the plus size bells i hear chiming? cut to: chantal saying she can do no wrong. and here we have chantal's first strike. i think we've also got a good idea of our bottom two already. bianca continues lashing out by backhanding heather (but i'm sure she's just a kitten under all those mean words. one of those hairless ones, but a kitten nonetheless.)

the girls are taken to a ballet studio where there are the blandest, most unflattering nude colored leotards that the girls must put on. the tights come up to the natural waist, and the long-sleeved scoop neck does nothing but complete their Band Aid look. tyra comes out OF COURSE in a fancy nicer ballet get up. a magenta skirt, black spaghetti strap v neck top, black pantyhose and leg warmers. what i would've given to see her in that sausage thing the girls were punished with. i'm half expecting some tabloid to discover that she's hiding a youngerberry tree and that she is being sustained by the energy and youth of these girls.

tyra teaches the girls how to move. ugh. ambreal sucks. tyty teaches the sexy wall slide and oh my god i love heather, but she should stay away from the sexy wall slide....it looks like she learned how to sexy wall slide from a bear named baloo. then she brings out a bunch of knee pads and says "On your knees it's bj time!!" jk. they sexy crawl.

there's a hilarious moment back at the house where all the skinny girls are griping about their weight and bianca says that she weighs the most in the house and sarah goes "Really, Bianca? You really wanna do this?"aww, i love sarah. even though her friend choice was sometimes suspect.

the girls are taken to a theater where bianca tells us that famous music video director Jessy terrero is there. a week ago i would've said "who?" but i just worked on one of his music videos so i have actually heard of him. ca-razy. in lieu of a photo shoot, the girls are all going to be in an enrique iglesias music vid, with two girls getting featured based on absolutely nothing but whom enrique wants to bone hardest. am i right?! chantal strike 2s herself with some comment. the theme of the video is vampires...but i don't get an idea of the plot. i think it's something like 'the tale of sexy vampires whom enrique iglesias wants to bone". lisa is the primary pick (they were told at first that only one girl would be featured) and heather the second.

JENAH - the judges are underwhelmed. she was at the top too long...needed a break anyway.
HEATHER - does really well but faints and spazzes out during the final group scene. she hadn't eaten all day. yet sarah's the one with the weight problem.
CHANTAL - confident, but sucks today.
AMBREAL - please. mercy kill. tyra thought her take on the wall slide was too hoochie. if heather got the wall slide it would've been baloo-chie.
LISA - i expected better from a stripper, but the judges thought she did great.
SARAH - i thought she looked hot, but she was self-conscious about her bod. nigel brings up sarah's weight issue again almost verbatim and weirdly pretending like it's the first time it's come up. weird. what if they made her go through that every week until they decided when plus size time would come.
SALEISHA - surprised tyra with her range.
BIANCA - did weird kissy faces.

Chantal gets her third strike and is banished to the bottom 2. i didn't notice this the first time i saw the episode, but tyra doesn't seem to know anything about this music video during panel. there's a lot of post audio work and her talking about it really vaguely. i wonder if she knew anything at all before showing up for the day.

heather is covergirl of the week for the millionth time in a row.

lisa is called first, sarah and chantal are last two. sarah is being punished by the curse of the plus size contestant, and chantal was maybe getting too cocky. there's a distant chiming and sarah is sent home. sarah LOSES IT. poor thing. a girl was never more sad to not be fatter. tyra sucks.

3 comments:

Ricky said...

several points:
* am i wrong or did someone just recently re-weatch the Huggabunch Movie like a hundred times in a row?

* that Band-Aid link was way cuter than the unfortunate sausage wrappers the girls were squeezed into

* i miss the days of antm when they would actually do plain ol' photo shoots. why does everything have to have music videos or charities or some other bullshit. i know there are bills to pay, but can't the use product placement like everyone else???

* finally, am i the only one who's impressed with the guest stars (however awkwardly they're stuck in there) antm has been pulling out of their ass? MJB, Tyrese, Enrique....moving up in the world, Tyra!!

Sara said...

-you are actually wrong about the first thing. i haven't seen the movie in forever, but when i was looking for the tree clip, i came upon that song and thought you'd appreciate it. -you are right about the cute band aid link. i think i actually googled "cute band aid".
-i miss the old fashion shoots so hard. remember the seven deadly sins one? and the doll one? oh tyra, what have you done?
-i have too been impressed by the star power she's been able to pull. usually she just recycles her judges, old contestants, and benny ninja.

Sara said...

oh, and it was tyson beckford, okay? tyson is a world's away from tyrese. oh no. not that stomach punching bastard.