Fall Reality Corner

PROJECT RUNWAY:
aww. this is the last frc for project runway. how sad. even sadder? jeffrey cunt-face won. ah well, i'm not too upset about it because i had a hunch it would happen. i don't know much about fashion but i do know this: poor michael didn't have a chance. my genius boy...didn't do a great job with his collection and he was rightly let go first of the four. laura, surprisingly was next. i thought her clothes looked beautiful, however i was pleasantly surprised with what uli sent down the runway. i think the judges were as well, because it was between her and jeff for the win. and big neck mcgee got the saturn and the money and another fucking reason for his ego and assholishness to grow even larger...but whatever, at least i don't have to deal with this ass in real life. i feel like the reason the editors really turned up the sympathy factor recently was because he won and they were all "oh motherfucking shit, everybody in the country hates this jerk and he wins. how do we make him likeable?" guess what editors? you didn't fool me, suckas. hmm. moving on...

TOP MODEL:
***please bear with me as i'm trying to discover the best format for the top model section. you see, back when i started summer reality show with rock star and project runway...i was able to be brief. i was just discovering project runway and i knew that i didn't need to spend much time on rock star because no one watches it. but this show is very special to my heart and i want to be able to get all my thoughts out...but in the most concise possible way. thank you. -management***

1) Michelle "might be gay". Might be, Michelle? Megan already spilled your secret a long time ago.
2) these bitches have ceased talking about melrose behind her back. they now do it whenever the hell they feel like it. and we finally discovered in this ep that as talented as aj may be, she's an asshole. Melrose did get points for just taking the stupid name calling with a smile.
3) Here are two things Brooke is terrible at. a) Rapping. Seriously. please stop. b) deciphering tyra mail. i would not want to be in the the riddlympics with this kid. or any sort of scavenger hunt.
4) in the challenge, they all have to interview janice dickinson. yipes! janice dickinson kind of awesomely has to pretend like she's passing the reporters for each girl. it kind of seemed like JD was holding back a little. some of those girls were begging for more than the verbal bitch slaps they received...like a true dickinson verbal smack down.
5) i'm always intrigued when they have to pose with themselves for the photoshoot. i am glad they are maybe making this a recurring thing because it's always interesting to see what the girls do.
EUGENA: Beyonce/jay-z. this picture was not terrible. the judges are still going on about "dead eyes" (she ain't got nothin' on katie holmes.)
ANCHAL: oprah/steadman. I hate anchal.
CARIDEE: Brad/Angelina. awesome job. i thought her angelina was stellar, but was also equally impressed when i saw the closeup of her brad. i'm proud of my new fave. the babies were unnecessary.
AJ: j.lo/marc anthony. More like Sandra Bullock and a corpse. AJ is usually fantastic, but this photo, her lack of interview skills, a truly terrible hat, and hives got her the boot. Too bad. i thought she was super talented. bitchy, hot, and talented.
BROOKE: britney, k-fed. nice pics but they really didn't look too much like america's favorite pair of trash...i'm still not way impressed by Brooke the Model. however, i personally would have died if they tried to wrap a FUCKING PYTHON around me.
JAEDA: whitney/bobby brown. anyone else catch the bodyguard on tbs this weekend? jaeda's bobby brown was awesome and her whitney wasn't bad, HOWEVER, aj shouldn't have gone over her. if just for the fact that jaeda has been in the bottom thrice.
MICHELLE: ellen/portia. how nice of tyra to pretend to act the therapist and then use the girls' issues, doubts, and insecurites (anchal as the giant lady, jaeda as the strong man, melrose always as the old people) in the photo shoots. but michelle took this is stride. she's way talented and i thought she rocked this pic.
AMANDA: Demi/Ashton. i thought amanda finally stepped it up this week.
MELROSE: Donald trump/melania. i don't know what that child bride looks like, but i'm sure melrose did a find job. what we need to talk about is how awesome her trump was. i didn't think anyone's impression could be better than mine. you're fiyahed.