Okay, let's do something a little different here. Let's start by saying there is someone that we are ever so subtly trying to get rid of. And that we have not seen this person since the 2nd date, even though there have been endless attempts on his end at communication in the last five (!) months (and only one has been returned.) There is your background.
This is a terrible, hateful, bitchy thing that we're about to do, but we are tired of the calls and the messages, and we think it's time for this. Everyone will remain anonymous. We're almost positive that "dude in question" ("Wilhelm" in this story) doesn't read this, but if he (you) does (do), well here are the answers he's (you've) been seeking.
here is the most recent message, with our 1st person comments in [brackets]:
Subject: all bullshit aside
[how can there be bullshit when i DON'T RESPOND TO YOUR MESSAGES]
[i hated when you first started calling me that, i hate it even more now]
All bullshit aside, I really do long to speak with you again
[that makes one of us]
I know that you're not intrested [sic] in a relationship...
[really? because you contact me as often as if we were in one]
You did a good job of making sure I didn't get too close.
[do you mean before or after you "stuck the tip in" without rubber or warning?]
But does that mean that you can't ever talk to me again?
Is there no middle ground with you?
[not for you there isn't]
Is it because we made out a bit or does it go deeper than that?
[what does this even mean? are you asking why i'm ignoring you? because if i make any sort of contact with you, you think i want to marry you. you pulled some way creepy moves early on. you pressured me into moving quickly by calling an average of five times a day. do you need more?]
Hit me back will ya?
[probably not. last time i did that was the first time i did in five months. and all i said was 'thanks for the bday wishes' and you took that to mean i wanted to talk to you again.]
I just kinda wanna know how you've been and why you've kicked me outta your life
[fine, thanks. re: the latter. see 2 qs above]