secondly, my mumsy presented me with two sheets of paper that she found whilst cleaning her office. apparently, i was jonesin to type on a typewriter, so i created these two masterpieces. while i don't remember composing these particular pieces, i do remember that it was probably around age 18 or 19, and i can confirm that i have a hard time resisting the allure of a typewriter. so, as a peace offering for my likely absence over the next ten days, i leave you with both pieces in their entirety. i will try to reproduce them exactly as they appeared when written, but some typos only typewriters can produce.
Why I Hate Aunt Flo
A novel by Sara Martinez
"Aunt Flo as she is called by the kids, is a very uncomfortable part of the month for most female members of the human population. She brings with her pain, discomfort, mood swings, and always leaves a mess. Aunt Flo always outstays her welcome, usually staying long past any amount of time that she was invited for...which she usually isn't. The few times that women are happy or excited to see Aunt Flo are the times when they had unprotected sexual activities and are fearing that they might be pregnant. Then-and only then- is Aunt Flo welcomed into the house of femininity with open arms.
NOt only does Aunt Flo cause cause pain and discomfort, but she can often cause a big mess. If a woman is expecting her Aunt Flo lightly, she may be surprised when she findsthathAunt Flo has gawned a little weight. Fortunatlly, different companies make different size mattress pads to suit the weight of Aunt Flo, however heavy or light she may be.
*This novel was inspired by thefilm Wonder Boys. I really wanted to type on a typewriter and the pain of Aunt Flo is preventing me from going swimming tonih tonight. I
WHY I HATE HEATHER a second novel by Sara Martinez
Today, Heather was as big a brat as ever. After reading a book, she refused to do anymore work. So I took away her recess privileges...and that's when the teacher had to step in. The teacher still had trouble and called the parents, and I was angry angry angry. Oh Heather, you little tormenter, you. Why must i live with you four hours a day for 6yweeks of my life.
Chapter 2 to come soon.