Thursday, September 04, 2008

my wardrobe adventures

i was working yesterday doing some wardrobe returns for a shoot i was on last week. it's basically easy stuff, you just take bags of clothes back to stores and hope no one gives you shit about it. i had seven stores to hit yesterday, and had a few interesting things happen along the way.

first off, i headed to the offices to pick up my cargo for the day. whilst i was waiting for dear friend bill to retrieve me from the lobby, who did i see come to greet a food delivery guy? None other than fave best week ever blogger MimiCoco (accompanied by third fave bwe blogger alex blagg).

next i took it to the streets to find meself a cab. i was picked up by my first lady cabbie -- the unicorns of cab drivers. i would be way ahead if life were a scavenger hunt.

my fourth store was one i knew would be a little difficult, mainly because the purchase was made in cash, and i had two bags of stuff (as opposed to the 5 - 10 items i'd had from some of the other stores). i walked in and took note of my options -- registers one and two were close to the exit and both had younger girls manning them. registers three and four were opposite the door and were being operated by two gentleman. i knew that in this case, whether the boys were gay or straight, i had a better chance with them. so i headed to the boys, randomly chose one of the two (side note: both gay), and started off with my planned "i apologize ahead of time for this, it will be annoying." in response i got a couple of detached 'it's no problem' and 'don't worry' responses from him. however, as he noticed the mountain of clothes and jewelry i was returning, he got a little more attitudey.

i had my nice face on this whole time since he seemed to be tolerating me, but when his displeasure started manifesting in bitchily telling people behind me that they'd be better off in another line because 'this is gonna take forever', audible 'whispering' to his coworkers that this was paid for in cash, and shaking his head after circling each item on the receipt, my nice face started transforming into bitch face. after all, i wasn't the one that bought all this stuff and was returning it. this is merely my job, and i shouldn't feel bad about doing my job, especially when i apologized off the bat and this guy is slow burning into bitchville, usa. so i stop feeling bad about it, and in a last ditch effort to win him over, i start looking just as annoyed as he is in hopes to portray to him that this isn't fun for me either.

finally, as he is nearing the bottom of the stack, he bitchfaces to me "was there something WRONG with ALL of this?". i have my backstory all planned out and respond, 'i don't know, my boss is a personal shopper and she's just having me do these for her.' ding ding ding! right answer. he immediately lightens up and sides with me. "Well, SHE should really be doing this herself, not putting it on you." "i know i know", i say, "but i'm just an assistant". he continues in disbelief that people get paid to shop for other people, and have assistants on top of that! he tells me he knows how it is, because he used to be an assistant to a stylist, so he's been there before. we commiserate over there not really being any good way to do it, just to be as nice as possible and try to tell the cashier the situation so they don't hate you. we talk a little more as we're waiting for his manager to get the cash out for me. the manager comes by and starts counting out the bucks with like, one hundred dollar bill and the rest in small bills (it was more than a few hundred i needed back). so he's acting all annoyed about this, and my new best friend the cashier comes to my rescue by saying "it's not her fault, she has a crazy boss." i love when i can successfully win someone over.

lastly, as i'm exhaustedly heading back to the office on the train, i see a man across the way get up from his seat, kneel in front of the seats across from him (and to my left), pick up a metrocard from the ground, and offer it to the lady sitting there. i guess the first lady he offered it to said it wasn't hers, and he offered it to the next lady. from where i was sitting though, it looked like maybe the lady hadn't seen him do it because he kind of went out of his way to point it out again and ask if she'd dropped it. for some reason, this made me assume that the lady was blind, and when i looked in the window reflection, i saw what appeared to be a golden retriever wearing sunglasses. my mind said "oh, she must be blind, because she has a seeing eye dog". but then the guy moved back to his seat and i was able to actually see that what i thought was a dog with sunglasses was actually a lady with big blond hair with her sunglasses perched atop her head. i giggle to myself and continue on my train ride. it was not until TEN MINUTES LATER that i realized how ridiculous it was for me to not only assume that a seeing eye dog would be wearing sunglasses, but to also not find a dog wearing sunglasses on the subway odd.

sometimes i worry about my brain.

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