Thursday, September 21, 2006

Fall Reality Corner: EPIC FIRST EDITION!!!

alright, kids. let's get right into this because we have bunches to cover.

JK! No Project Runway this week.

first, i'd like to say that for the past week, anytime a commercial for top model came on television, i squealed like a 5 year old girl. a contestant on top model. second, i kicked off the season with four fantastic friends and lots of bottles of wine and beer...and honestly, i don't know how i didn't watch ANTM this way before.
So, basically, the first hour showed us how tyra and her cronies narrowed the group from 33 to 13. we were assaulted with those wacky aswirl twins right at the top of the show and i almost killed somebody. but i was jarred out of my anger by tyra's entrance and lots of screaming girls. (why do girls scream like that? what does it accomplish? screaming should only be reserved for times when your brother jumps out at you from behind a wall in a dark room. and rollercoasters...because you just can't help it then) i never understood why antm has this episode after they've already released promo pics featuring the eventual selected herd of models. but, i got suckered into liking and getting to know some of the girls that didn't make the final cut, so i guess i really shouldn't be complaining. whenever i see those first promo shots, i basically group the girls into "black girls" "blonde girls" "the red head/black haired one*" (*hair probably short) and "the ethnic one" and i guess i don't memorize their faces too hard.
anyway, the 33 were cut to 21, and those 21 had to do a nude photo shoot. for their first photo shoot. nude. first. naked. completely. so, all the girls were game except the republican (of course) and my immediate thought was "remember that bigoted, racist, homophobic, hateful republican cheerleader from last season? no? that's because she was cut before the final 13 were chosen." sure enough, shy ol' ginger wasn't selected.
here is a quick rundown of the chosen 13:
CHRISTIAN - doesn't matter. she's off. first off? embarrassing. first off when you are Tyra's biggest fan and have memorized every pose she's ever done? priceless.
MEGG - "the rocker" i honestly don't know why they call her this. does she collect pebbles from places where she has memorable moments?
*i think it's notable enough to mention that christian and megg look like the black and white (respectively) versions of naima, winner of cycle 4. but, less fug. like, way less fug. naima was busted.
AMANDA and MICHELLE - the twins. i thought this was a cool idea, but they're kind of annoying. well, amanda is anyway. and michelle is way prettier. they are identical twins and i can tell them apart already. they also really look like robin tunney. michelle kind of looks like fiona apple in her picture from this week.
MEGAN - my favorite right now. she's gorgeous. and she seems way chill. and her mom DIED ON TOP OF HER after they were IN A PLANE CRASH when she was TEN. and this girl did not cry a lick when she was telling this story to tyra and the jays. if that's not enough to love her, then the fact that she looks like Charlize Theron should suffice.
A.J.- was my fave based on the original promo shot because i like her look of fair skin and dark hair, but i accepted the possibility that she might be annoying...and she just might be..we need a little more time.
MONIQUE- and we already have our hateful bitch of cycle 7. Unfortunately (but fortunately for my eyes) she looks like gabrielle union, and therefore will probably be around for the long haul.
EUGENA - takes a good picture, is thankful that makeup covers up her bad skin (zing!)
BROOKE- cute and playful. looks like she lied about being 18. also looks hungry.
ANCHAL- I don't like this girl's face. an astute coolface friend pointed out that she looks like a hawk. i thought all she had going for her were the blue eyes, but those are fake. she's pretty i guess, she's not a model. this year's gina. hopefully less annoying.
JAEDA- slightly tran-tastic, but seems supernice and has a slammin' bod.
CARIDEE- fun and pretty when she does her hair properly.
MELROSE - umm, her real name is Melissa Rose. i liked her name better before i knew this. she's pretty, but at the wrong angle can be weird looking. almost got the axe.

Danielle was back for her my life as a covergirl! we love her! and she mostly kicked her accent! that's my girl.
here is a helpful chart that explains where the girls stand right now:


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