Thursday, July 27, 2006

that crazy redhead

As we've heard recently (and several times before), Lindsay Lohan was hospitalized for "dehydration" and "heat exhaustion" because, according to her publicist, she was "working" for 12 hours in 105 degree heat. Now, we all know that this kind of statement is merely part of a publicist's job; a client effs up somehow and the publicist earns her huge paycheck by putting a spin on the truth so that the star in question remains in the most positive light possible. the problem is, publicists underestimate the intelligence of the general public and don't realize that we've come to recognize certain statements as thinly veiled excuses for bad celebrity behavior.
here are some examples:
-usually anything that has to do with hospitalization due to dehydration and/or exhaustion equals too much partying plus enormous amounts of alcohol plus probably a lot of blow.
-"taking some time off" usually equals rehab
-"tom cruise is the happiest he's ever been" = tom cruise is feeling quite gay
-"i'm not gay" = i am gay

But, along with underestimating our intelligence, publicists once in a while try to be cute by throwing in seemingly unnecessary details that end up being clues that lead us on a scavenger hunt of truth. For example, when vitamin B shots are used in one of those dehydration/heat exhaustion instances, there's probably a pharmacist around somewhere that knows what that really means

UPDATE!! Check out this scandalous letter courtesy of TSG


Ricky said...

I think that the skankification of La Lohan is directly related to downward spiral of crazy that Tom Cruise has plunged down. Can someone research this???

Also: can Vitamin B shots be bouth over-the-counter? I'm feeling "dehydrated".

Ricky said...

And by bouth I meant bought, goddamit.

Coolface said...

bouth is french for bought, so thats ok.

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