Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Inaugural Subway Spotlight: Tootin' Tommy

Every now and again, we all come across a subway performer that we think deserves a little more attention than pooh-poohing commuters are willing to give. Coolface strongly believes that these outstanding subway performers should get the recognition they deserve, and we are proud to give it to them in Subway Spotlight. Here is our inaugural Subway Spotlight, featuring the act of Tootin' Tommy.

Tootin' Tommy enters the train with saxophone on neck, sunglasses on face, and mind firmly planted in a world none of us will ever know about. He immediately launches into his monologue, paraphrased here:

"Attention! I come from Galaxy 7!!! I am an alien! I. AM. AN. ALIIIEEEEEEEENN!!!!! I am on a 19 year mission. I have a message for you, mere mortals! And it sounds like this..."

TT then starts a-tootin' on his horn. He starts smooth, with a recognizable easy listening hit. Then, he starts to vamp a little bit...take some liberties. But instead of beautiful runs, he instead just blows the sax as hard as he can and moves his fingos as if someone were pointing a pistol at them yelling "dance! dance!". i don't know if this offended me as a former sax player or as a person with ears, but it was sure unpleasant. He closed out the song with a spot-on rendition of what i like to call the 'car alarm remix'...and i think everyone knows what i'm referring to when i say that. So all in all, it started out strong, in the middle it got a little pitchy, and in the end, it was just aight for me. This is how TT closed his act:

"You will feel the effects in a couple of hours. But my spaceship has crashed and I must go back to Galaxy 7.
AND I'M TAKING BUSH WITH ME!!!!! I will also take Cheney but that is gonna cost extra"

I need no more words to explain why Tootin' Tommy is the first ever honoree here at Subway Spotlight

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