nice knowing ya

I had the news on this morning as I was getting ready for work, and there was a story about an explosion that went off in times square. since i work in times square, i started paying attention. There is this little traffic island in the middle of times square known as Military Island (a recruiting center), and apparently there was some sort of explosion early this morning resulting in a pile of glass right outside the building. This made me a little nervous, but the news didn't seem too concerned, so i headed off to work. When i walked past military island (it's like, half a block from my building) i indeed saw the pile of glass and the broken glass doors. cops were surrounding the island (luckily, military island is right next to a little cop station [but not like cops can protect anyone from explosions]) looking all official. My attention was drawn to the helicopter that was just hanging out above us. this actually made me more nervous because it seemed like the helicopter wanted to be there to catch footage in case anything else happened. I continued into my building and opened my google reader, where i was greeted with this story. As my friend bill said, "a biker in new york with a backpack. should stick out like a sore thumb."

The Hawaii Chair

I just found this gem over at the gilded moose:



and while there are a million things that need to be discussed about the above video...like so many mind-blowing things...what i think takes precedence is this:

how the HELL are you supposed to get anything done if you're using that chair?!!? Like, seriously, how can anyone concentrate?!?! how did those infomercial actors even get their lines out?! what the fucking fuck?!

cooler than stupid's guide to temping

I just finished a temping stint which lasted about a month and a half and now feel distanced enough to offer this list of do's and don'ts for the up and coming temporary office worker.

Do:
accidentally show up early and pretend you did it on purpose

Don't:
pile 14 large water glasses on top of each other inside the sink (where it is your first day working) only to turn around to see the glass tower fall over and shatter into many tiny pieces.

Don't:
accidentally print out every single page of the coolface blog on the shared printer and since you didn't know it printed, leave it there for a better part of the day until your boss finds it (i acctually did this at my old full time job......how i never got fired is beyond me).

Do:
Walk anywhere you are going (most likely nowhere in particular) really fast and with a very serious look on your face and a pad of paper in your hand. Everyone will think you are hard at work.

Don't:
Drop the same phone caller when trying to transfer him five times in a row until he screams at you and you have to give him the guys direct number. (in my defense - i think my phone was broken)

Do:
Type fast and furiously, evem if you aren't typing anything at all.

Dont:
Roll your eyes when the dipshit boss dude of some "hip" design firm yells at you for paging him over the intercom because you confused him because he was already on the phone...even though he really wanted to talk to the person who was on the phone, and he got mad at you for putting them through to voicemail.

Do:
Take tons and tons of meaningless notes.....all the time

Don't:
Tell yourself that you are just going to close your eyes for a second while nobody is walking by, and then wake up an hour later.

Do:
Pull the fire alarm