a conversation

THUG KID (to FOXY LADY): Has anyone thanked you yet?

FOXY LADY: What?

THUG KID: Has anyone thanked you yet?

FOXY LADY: I don't know what you're talking about but my husband is right over there.

(7 FOOT TALL HUSBAND APPEARS)

7 FOOT TALL HUSBAND: Is there a problem here?

(THUG KID retreats)

Who'd have thunk

I just found myself uttering the following words with complete sincerity:

"Oh, Christina Aguilera, how classy you are."

Who would have ever thought those words would be spoken about Miss Dirrty Herpes USA 2003/2004? But compared to today's times of cootchie spilling, she is the definition of class. especially if she goes out to the clubs, gets drunk, and shows none of her lady parts because she's wearing JEANS. you hear that girls? the paparazzi can't photograph your chonch if you are wearing JEANS. EVEN IF YOU FORGET YOUR UNDERWEAR.

ps i was in the perfume section of some store the other day and found myself in an aisle with the paris hilton fragrances on my right and the britney spears fragrances on my left. i then yelped and dashed out of there before i was riddled with stds.

Fall Reality Corner: Final Edition

First off, I'd like to apologize for the recent lack of attention to fall reality corner. due to various uncontrollable circumstances, i've kind of been slacking on it recently and i'm very sorry. i'll try to do better come winter reality corner. I don't really have much to say about this finale because i think it was pretty predictable and pretty anticlimactic. i've been rooting for caridee since megan was booted in the second episode, and i was not fooled by the editors (and tyra's) recent attempt to sway the fact that caridee was going to win by undeservingly putting her in the bottom two for the last few weeks. i was hoping eugena would come in second, but i knew that would never happen because it would be danielle and joanie all over again. i felt bad for melrose when she tried to get in on caridee and eugena's hug, but c'mon--don't be an idiot. she totally butted in on their moment and she knew they hated her. that's just weird. hopefully the second place prize was some therapy for that bipolar crazypants. i was also pissed by what a big deal was made by caridee ripping melrose's dress. it wasn't on purpose, it just seemed like it was a time filler. Fourfour made the very good point that the last three episodes of the cycle did not have writers (due to their strike and eventual canning) and you could really tell because the storylines were random and all over the place. and ten minutes were given to melrose throwing a shitfit about caridee accidentally stepping on her dress. ugh. all in all, the season as a whole was disappointing. i was glad that someone i was wholeheartedly rooting for actually one for once, but i really don't think there was a chance anything else could have happened. hopefully the next season antm will be back on its game. if anything, there will be less tyra since her show won't be on hiatus. so, at least that's something to look forward to.

ice is nice

If you're really into watching people fall down (who isn't?) and you live in the new york area, we highly suggest you take a trip down to the Bryant Park ice skating rink. at one point, six different people were spotted trying to pick themselves up at the same time. this activity of watching people fall is heightened if you especially enjoy when the following types of people fall:

1) Guys who think they are something special on the ice and then fall when they are doing some sort of flashy stop. and then immediately pick themselves up and try to continue living as though that didn't just happen and their girlfriends didn't just see it.

2) Older men in business suits and ice skates--especially when wearing a wacky winter hat and especially when they are completely by themselves.

3) children 6 and under

HOORAY

one coolfacer's computer was finally fixed and returned to its warm home today so hopefully we'll be a little better about posting than we have recently. we know you all have been dying without it.

FRC: Lo Siento!!

So, the computer is still in the shop and my new NEW cube really doesn't allow for any privacy as i'm now sharing a room with four other people and my monitor faces the door to the room...so i can't really recap here at work...and i can't really do it at home, so this week, you'll have to get the superduper short edition:

Amanda's out this week. Didn't I call this?

The computer should be back in action in time for this week's TOP MODEL FINALE!!!! as well as the FALL REALITY CORNER FINALE!!! The three battling it out are CariDee, Melrose and Eugena...and i think that's how they'll place. Don't worry all you loyal readers out there, i'll figure something out for Winter Reality Corner...even if it has to be American Idol.

of note

we think it is of interest to note that someone came across our blog by googling whale turds cruise ship. we hope they found what they were looking for.