Guess she's pretty desperate...

ps ryan seacrest looks like a really awful kisser

Tom Cruise contacts Coolface: TOM FIGHTS BACK

Coolface recently recieved this email from The Cruise:

This is Tom Cruise! Of course I don't call it a ship! I call it a gift..a gift from the alien gods. Even though we all know they are bad and we are possesed with them, you have to admit thier technology is light years ahead of the rest of time. Also, I'm Gay.

Coolface on: Tom Cruise

so apparently, tom cruise was recently late to an interview because he flew himself there and there was bad weather. first of all, who let tom cruise fly a plane? and also, do you think he calls it a "ship"?

fun with pylons

oh isn't that cute. look at phaea with a traffic cone on her head! coolface really knows how to have fun! what next phaea? a lampshade? haha!


sara ponders what it would be like if we had pylons for hands and only 2 fingers, it would indeed be cool, but real hands won by a very small margin. sara likes to think!


and then things turned ugly.....


if you or a loved one has been violated by someone with a pylon for a hand and only two fingers you are not alone. please visit www.ihavebeentouchedbyapylonhandandimnotgonnatakeit.com for information on what you can do to stop pylon hand abuse.

friends don't let friends email drunk

from: sara

hey fools. i experienced the best g train timing ever! as soon as i walked down the stairs and swipe swiped my MC (that's right) the train pulled up!
and i was all smooth like, yeah, this train came just for me....and then it dawned on me as the train passed that g trains, much like mexicans and asians, are much shorter than the rest of their kind...so then i looked very unsmooth running to get the train. because i have been left by a g train before. that saw me running to it. bitch. point is, i made it home in 40 minutes! yeah!


From phaea:

no shit! short people got..no reason. I would like to state that Sara's idea is brillant. Also, that I am drunk and alone in my new room. I unplacked almost everything and I have room under my bed for 30 male whores and a who's the biggest whale under water party. There fore I am a genuis at not owning stuff. I am currently drinking a fosters oil can.

pees.

p


from: becca

I would like to say that this was by the far the best email thread ever! (or whatever you call it). Ironically, I also made it home in good time! But since I drove the G train story trumps mine. Also phaea, congrats on fitting all your stuff in the storage space and being drunk....please be sure to send an evite when you have the who's the biggest whale underwater party under your bed.


From sara:

(refering to phaea's email)
maybe the most brilliant email i've ever read

some shitty show

some losers wanted us to say something about their show that's next weekend. we personally think their turds, but you can make up your own mind.