running tip

words of advice -- you probably shouldn't go for a run after a) having not gone in about two weeks because 2) you had a weird chest sickness that had you almost coughing your lungs out. especially if C) that was followed by maybe the horrid end to that chest illness or a attack of allergies or a different illness that prevented nose breathing the majority of the time, left your upper lip red raw and peeling, and/or forced you to keep little spitoon kleenexes everywhere just in case. even if you think this might be the last day of this illness, you've thought that for the last three days. wait a few more before hitting the old runnin' path again.

it was a beautiful day today. there's no sign of the arctic freeze of last weekend . i could actually breathe through my nose. sure, there was still need for a tissue every now and again, but not often. (if you're squeamish about boogs, you should skip ahead. i'm not gonna be graphic, i'm just sayin.) also, i felt like i could cough something out eventually, but whatever was residing back there just wasn't ready to come out. so i felt like it would be okay to try and start running again. i felt awesome on my first few steps. it was sunny but cool. my breath wasn't labored. my body wasn't sore from coughing. and then i hit the first hill. and breathing became eh...hard. and my lungs were all 'hey, we're just kind of getting back to not seizing at consistent periods throughout the day. chill.' but i pushed on at a slightly slower pace. then that little residual stuff that was hanging out decided to start a revolution. still not big enough for me to force out, but enough to make me emit noises with every breath. to refrain from sounding like an old fat man breathing, i would forcefully cough, which seemed to force it out of the way enough to not affect my breath intake.

i finally get to the last half mile of my run, which happens to contain the biggest hill on my run. this is so close to where i started, i just try to push myself. i'm breathing heavily and i feel that damn little spot of saliva acting up again. except this time, i feel it reaching gag zone. so i'm all, 'okay sara, just don't cough or sharply inhale through your noise and you'll be fine.' and then i cleared my throat. so here i am at the top of the hill, gagging, but i think i'm covering it well since my hands are over my mouth. i have briefly stopped running at this point because usually if i just stick it out, whatever is causing the problem gets cleared and i eventually can breathe again. except, the problem causer is still that same little whatever that isn't large enough to force out. so now it's making me emit horrid donkey noises. oh and i can't really catch a breath because of this, so as i'm gagging/making donkey noises/trying to get a breath of air, i'm thinking about how this is how i die.

i didn't die. i don't think anyone noticed. and i was able to finish the run. but i learned my lesson.

a chin on my shoulder

so this whole jay leno thing. a quick rundown if you don't know -- jay leno's primetime suckfest was canned after five months of low ratings. so now, nbc is offering the 11:35 time slot back to jay leno because they realized what a terrible idea it was to give five hours of primetime tv a week to a man that isn't funny. this, of course, is where conan is, and he was basically given the option of moving to midnight or getting the hell out.

ok first of all, this deal with conan--if i remember correctly--was made like 5 years ago. i remember thinking how far 2009 seemed and how i couldn't wait til conan started hosting the tonight show. this has been in the works for a long time. clearly, whoever was running nbc back then knew that jay leno's shtick was tired and unfunny and it was about time to get a change in the chair.

so then..what, like a year ago? it's announced that jay leno gets this primetime version of his show...because what? everyone loves jay leno? he had the top ratings in late night? nbc was so starved for ratings that they thought that losing jay leno and his late-night ratings to another network would spell the rest of their demise. when actually keeping him did. because look, top ratings in late night do not equal top ratings in primetime. late night is a routine for most people. i love conan, but i'll admit i don't watch the tonight show every night. i've only seen it a handful of times since he's taken over. at that time, i'm busy watching shit i dvr'd from primetime. the people that do watch late night talk shows i think make a point of watching it. so they'll usually be there. as long as you don't screw it up. maybe, nbc, if you hadn't saturated every night with four talk shows, essentially splitting your own ratings, you wouldn't be in this much trouble.

also..what were the fucking options back when they were making this deal? "Hmm, well, if we don't make a deal with Jay now, he's gonna walk to another network. And he's the highest rated late night host. So, that means we COULD POSSIBLY lose the only thing we're winning at. instead of risking that and backing the man we hired five years ago to do this job, let's keep jay doing essentially the same show at primetime. this way, we'll definitely lose the only thing we're winning at. and we'll screw up everything else that hasn't been affected yet. like local newscasts. fuck them. go jay."

i realize that when nbc made this deal with jay, it was for a long period of time. i understand that they probably couldn't have just canceled him...they would've had to buy out his contract. and the last place network probably can't afford that. i mean...they had to realize how this could blow up when they were hammering out the deal, right? and THEN! there was a quote the other day from jay leno after it came out his show was canceled. i'm paraphrasing here, but it was something like "yeah we had low ratings, but nbc also canceled me when i had the best ratings, so..." and it's like. no. jay fucking leno, nbc did not cancel you when you had the best ratings. SEVERAL years ago, they thought it would be a good idea to hire a new face. they made a deal with that person. and then with another person. and these two people changed their lives for this deal that was made a long time ago. their LIVES. conan moved across the country for this job. so that's not really canceling you, jay leno, it's more like you were given notice to find a new job, so you threw a big fit about it. and now nbc is screwed. and conan might be fleeing the network. good for him. and i never thought i'd say this, but i hope jimmy fallon comes out okay also.