I'm a promise keeper

and it was worth the wait...

Idiots deserve to be lost

Last night, as I was heading to meet my friends for a halloween good time, I was stopped by a Julie Chen-looking lady (aka the chenbot, host of big brother) asking which direction Bleecker was in. Since i had just exited the subway, it was taking me a couple seconds to get my bearings, so as i was thinking, i responded with an "uhhh..." which i guess can be interpreted as "i don't know"...however, when she followed up her question with "or Lafayette?", I was knocked back into my right mind, got my bearings and said "that way!" (with the enthusiasm implied by an exclamation point) and pointed her in the correct direction. Pleased with myself for helping out a fellow human, i waited on the corner for the walk signal to come on so i could continue on my way. Out of the corner of my eye, i saw her kind of huddle into the man she was with and then the two made an about face and started walking in the direction opposite from what i pointed. I don't know if it was because I was dressed up as Dora the Explorer and looked 6 years old, or if it was the extended "uuhhhhh..." before i committed to the answer, but as they tried to sneakily cross behind me and i heard the Chenbot say to her mate "i KNOW that Bleeker is this way." Ok, first of all, bitch, if you KNEW bleeker was that way, why the hell did you ask me? and second of all, bitch, bleeker was NOT that way and i hope you spent the entire night searching in the wrong area and you missed whatever douchebag party you were headed to. and then i hope when you realized your mistake, and that you should've listened to that little dora on the street corner, i hope your man dumped you.

after a few minutes of fuming over this, i was able to enjoy my evening. some highlights included the best duo ever dressed as a couple Thundercats (i'll post a picture when i get a chance to upload it)...not only did they have the bods for it, but they also made the costumes themselves. I also appreciated a girl named haley dressed as an american apparel ad and a dude on the train dressed as Hulk Hogan. he got points for commitment, since his lower half was only covered by yellow wrestling speedos. he also got points for putting up with all the shit he was getting from dudes that were clearly not as secure in their manhood as he whilst riding the train.

and finally, completely unrelated, i opened up the cnn website today and was greeted with a headline that made me giggle. Officer shot in donut shop robbery dies ..not the dying aspect of it, of course. and then i outright laughed when i thought more about a cop meeting his maker in a donut shop. and then i actually clicked on the article and read it and i got sad.
but i mean...it's still kind of funny right?

The Aforementioned Wee Hour Programming

The other night I was having trouble falling asleep, so I flipped on my lil tv to see if it had anything to offer. Seeing as the lil tv exists in my bedroom where there is no cable box, there really wasn't much. I settled on GREG: The Greg Behrendt Show because I saw a snippet once before and it was truly terrible, so I thought it best to torture myself and see how much of a full episode I could sit through. Also, it was 3 am, so my only other options were infomercials. I lasted about 35 minutes before I shut my lil tv off in disgust. I was particularly lucky that morning because the topic of the day was "The Best of the Greg Behrendt Show". Let me tell you, if that's what they came up with for the best segments the show has ever had, then it's a real wonder that the show is still on the air.

For those who don't know, Greggy B was a coauthor on that horrid book "He's Just Not That Into You" and he's been milking it for all it's worth (which, in my oh so humble opinion, is not much). I don't even know how to describe how awful this show was. In the period of time that I wasted watching it, he chose the most random segments to highlight. He also made a "joke" (one of those that's actually true i'm sure) that they collected "thousands" of letters from "fans" who sent in what they thought the best segments were, and then paid zero attention to them and chose what Greg thought was the best. You know what that meant? That the choice segments were heavy on the Greg talk and lite on whatever that particular show was about. Then there was about 20 minutes of different video segments where greg goes out into the world and tries to be funny in a kind of lame pseudo-dane cook sort of way. an example of one of these would be how he went into a grocery store and admonished the place for catering to sexual deviants. i could try and explain that in more detail, but really its not worth it. he also talked about how bad his style was 'in the beginning' but it didn't really look like much in that department has changed. He then had a section devoted to Greg-overs. What makes a Greg-over different from a makeover? Nothing. I was kinda hoping a Greg-over meant someone would get changed to look like Greg. But i think he just calls it that hoping that it makes it manlier. Dude, you're in your 40's (and it shows. zing!) and you have the hair thing going on and the glasses thing sometimes and it really looks like you're trying too hard to look half your age. Also, the uncomfortable banter with the audience between the segments was mediocre stand up at best.

i don't know why this dude angers me so much. i've never read his dumb book but i've had to dole out some tough love because of it. actually, scratch that. i know several reasons why this dude angers me. it's just weird because i have such a hatred for a man i've had limited exposure to. anyone else?