learn the lesson

so, for the past...i would say about three and a half months, i've been developing a bad habit. remember back in august, when i got way into the olympics? and because of that, i got behind on my dvr'd stuff? well, then i went home for a couple weeks, and fell further behind. because of the shifts i was working at the cookie shoppe, i remained behind on that. (plus i haven't watched any of my netflix in three months.) anyhoodle, then i started getting a lot of work with my primary occupation, and i've been working several days in a row (i've had three days off in the last 27), so i remain, and am falling further behind. because of this, i'm really doing my best to catch up. i even cut out one of my favorite things.

so back to the bad habit. usually, i have a hard time going to bed before 2 am. so, when i get home from whatever job i've been at, i go through my google reader, prepare my meal, and then sit in front of the tv with the goal to try and catch up on the dvr until at least 2 am. sometimes, i talk myself into trying to go til 3. but seriously, almost every time, somewhere between 11 and 2 (and the other night at 9 o'clock!), i just get hit with a wall of tired. the program i'm watching goes to commercial, and instead of ff'ing through the ads, i say to myself, "self, just close your eyes through the commercial break." without a doubt, whenever i do this, i end up waking up no less than TWO HOURS LATER. the dvr has already played and replayed the program i was trying to watch. i always wake up confused and sweaty. then i get up and stumble to my bed, wondering if i ever actually finished what i was just watching.

my question here is why can't i just learn the lesson? every time i do this i know i'm going to fall asleep. i know it's pointless to say i'm just closing my eyes for the commercial because i will wake up disoriented shortly thereafter. and i bet you anything..it's 12:30 right now-- i'm going to convince myself that not only can i watch the full saturday night live, but also at least one, maybe one and half programs after that. and i effing guarantee you that i will most likely pass out within the first half hour of saturday night live. why can't i learn my lesson?

last night i passed out probably at about 1:45 trying to watch some program it was taking me a couple hours to get through. i woke up at 6 am on the couch. ugh! i could have had such an awesome sleep if i just picked myself up at the first commercial break i thought i could nap to, and taken myself to my lovely bed.

do you guys have any tips for me? i'll keep you updated on my status.