FRC: The Pickup Artist - Episode 3

I'm sure we all remember that a few posts back, Sara made the startling decision to stop posting about The Pickup Artist because there is just not enough time.....and then we all had a nice cathartic cry. I however, am currently between jobs and have had plenty of time to watch TV - most notably, The Pickup Artist....so she has passed the torch along to me. I don't do many posts about TV, so it might not be quite right - but this is a learning process, a very public learning process. So bear with me.

Let's start with Episode 3!

Carl makes it through elimination because Kevin cursed too much. I curse a lot too, so if i were a contestant - this is probably where i would have been eliminated as well.

On to the biofeedback test - where the guys get hooked up to stress monitors and have to control themselves while a hot woman undresses in front of them. First thing I personally noticed about the woman.... why isn't this "external stimulus" wearing shoes? Only socks? It feels like they forgot a part of her costume.

Nothing exudes calm like this face:

Right ladies? Apparently watching "Nurse Samantha" makes Simeon look vaguely like a psychotic version of Kramer from Seinfeld.

Greg won, but I thought Todd should have. He was absolutely adorable throughout that entire challenge.

Hey look who's back? Well if it isn't Kosmo - hugs and inspirational quotes all around.

Then they learn pickup artist body language! Talking over the shoulder = only partially available = ladykiller!

Hey, check it out - mystery without a hat or sunglasses again! Now on to the elimination challenge - Greg gets to watch all the other guys attempts at picking up chicks because he won the biofeedback challenge. Brian is first - he talks to a group of women in his own goofy way.

Tara: She's offering him a condom, that's an I.O.I. if i ever saw one!
Matador: It's a bachelorette party.....(in his mind: duh, YOU IDIOT! Sigh - I miss my British friend from season 1)

Back to Brian.

Brian: "I would take you home, dip you in chocolate and throw tomato slices at you".
Girl: hahahaha, what the?!?!

Rian tries to pull away only 1 girl for some alone time instead of the whole group of girls and freaks her out. Todd does a great job and even gets a phone number. Matt is still wearing the boa - and making stupid comments about it. Seriously dude, just ditch the boa....it's doing you more harm than good. Simeon - like Brian, goes for the bachelorette party and tries to spin exactly the same girl, but gets shot down. Carl - ugh, the caper opening..it's so lame. Greg's turn! whoever writes the captions is awesome:


Oh caption person, you are so right - he TOTALLY has nervous nostrils! He's learned from watching the other guys mistakes from the van - and got a couple ladies to sit in the VIP section with him....and gets a phone #.

how did i not notice mystery's female renaissance fair outfit before?


Matt knows he hasn't done very well. For some reason, in all of his talking heads it seems like he's giving a lecture. His tone of voice gets old fast. Oh hey, big surprise...Rian's crying again!

Elimination - this week's medallion is Legu (no idea how to spell it) - which is a symbol for cleansing. Greg chooses to make Matt & Brian immune to elimination. This is good news for Matt, since they were going to give him the boot this week after his shoddy performance for the past couple challenges. mystery wants to know his strategy and greg gives some bullshit answer about how he sees strength in both of these guys - Todd totally called it earlier when he said that Greg was just choosing the weaker guys so that his competition can be put up on the chopping block. Mystery says that he was going to send Matt home this week, but since he's immune - he's staying. Which means, someone who doesn't quite deserve it has to go home.

It's down to Carl and Rian - in all honestly, the thing that destroys Carl in the end is that terrible caper opener. Man they need to take this out of their repetiore of pickup lines. Hey, i think Rian's crying again! Tara looks vaguely like Vanessa Williams on Ugly Betty here.


And Carl gets eliminated, this poor guy never got a break. He was up for elimination at all 3 elimination ceremonies at his time on the show, but he did seem to make some improvement. hey, remember when you got your hair highlighted? that was fun..now get the fuck out.


To quote Mystery - it was a kickass run brother. Kisses!