SRC: Shear Genius

Shortcuts Challenge - Men's Cuts

My girl Tab does a wonderful job. She's joined in the top by Dr. Boogie -- master clipper. Tabatha gets to choose her look for the elimination challenge first, and then assign the remaining looks to everyone else. Kristophe (baono) is the accented judge for the shortcuts challenge. I think ben also does a great job here.

Tab takes 80's Punk Rock and assigns the rest as follows:
Anthony - 60's, Danna - 40's, Ben - 20's, Daisy - Victorian, Tyson - Elizabethan, and Dr. Boogie - Medieval

They all seem to struggle at first when trying to figure out their concepts. I think Daisy does an incredible job. Tyson also does well -- they both make up the top 2. I think Anthony, Ben and Tabatha all did a good job, but could've stepped it up a little. In my opinion, Boogie and Dana were the worst, but the judges felt it was Danna and Anthony. I liked both, so i was a little bummed...but someone's gotta go.

***Who's excited for "Straight Up", Paula Abdul's upcoming reality show? Me.

I didn't know who should go here. They're both really talented and have crazy accents. Danna's hairstyle was worse, but she's won a lot of challenges. Anthony's shown good work and he's really hot. Everyone left is really good, so it's really anybody's guess who's gonna go next week -- it all depends on the challenge. This week, it's Danna.

SRC: Top Model - GOING TO THE FINALS! EDITION

*** I caught some of this season's earlier episodes on VH1's cycle 8 marathon today and it was kind of crazy to see everyone knowing what i know now. If only I could warn my past self. It was amazing.

Previously: Brittany's fug complaining ass was sent home.

1) Natasha has...like phone sex with her husband. but she might have misinterpreted this as well because i think she actually has sex with the phone.
2) It doesn't seem to have hit the girls that they were headed to the finals what with their lack of interest in putting any effort in the challenge and later Natasha's zero effort at the shoot due to a cold.
3) Dionne has now told us that she neither dances with nor kisses her boyfriend. I really wished Wholahay came out for this. She would've been perfect for the aboriginal challenge.
4) Renee wins and shares her prize with Jaslene. They get loaded with pearls. Renee thinks "Point me to the nearest pawn shop! No more beach-dwelling husband for me!"
5) Dionne, Jaslene, and Renee go out (Natasha is sick) and plot to get rid of Natasha. Also, they're eating like, lemons...or oranges...off of a silver platter, but at one point it really looked like Dionne was presenting Jaslene with a silver trayful of blow.
6) These bitches are hilarious about the dancing! They each have to tell a story through different dances (or something) in their photo shoots. Jaslene secures her place in the finals with her shot. Dionne fixes her scowl eventually and I think produces a really nice picture. Natasha is a huge baby about being sick. She does not try at all. Even after Jay laid it down on the line for her (twice). she doesn't even have what danielle had and dani gave a great shot on top of an elephant. nata just looks awkward and has a really bad photo. it was like how bad she was in the beginning. Renee kills this shoot. Jay even calls one of her shots "glorious".
7) For the first time all season, they bring back the judging challenge. and it's just because it's time to get catty. they ask each girl who they think has the most and least potential. dionne, like every other girl who has gone first with this question and gotten screwed by it, does not answer herself as most potential. every other girl does. all but natasha say natasha has the least. natasha says giselle bundchen has the least potential. those crazy foreigners!
8) twiggy thinks everyone is jealous of each other.
9) judges say: dionne is not a top model, jaslene only gives one look, renee is old-looking. and remember when everyone hated her? and that natasha is the second coming, but let's give her a scare.
10) renee is first in the finals. jaslene is second. bottom two - natasha and dionne. dionne goes home :( oh snap, and she doesn't hug natasha back. for the first time in a while, any of the three girls left have a very good shot at taking this competition. i'm putting my bets on jaslene.

SRC: Top 3 Finalists!!

Ok, first of all, American Idol, we're totally onto you. You can't try to fool us with your camera tricks and screen magic and make us think that Pink performance was live, because it wasn't. We all know Pink taped a performance for Idol Gives Back and it was cut for time. We all know that you rolled that tape in and Seacrest gave a really terrible acting performance when it came to "Thank you PINK!" and she "responded" with an angry head nod. We noticed the suspicious absence of post-performance chat. Expect to see that one Gwen Stefani performance that was also cut from IGB next week, hyped as a live performance. don't insult us like this.

Second of all, RYAN. YOU AREN'T STRAIGHT. It's really effing sad that he puts on this whole dog and pony show about how he loooovesss girls and 'oh my god my fantasy is coming true because jessica alba is here!' seacrest, please. you couldn't be more original? jessica average is (inexplicably) every straight dude's number one, but even if you were straight ryan, she really wouldn't be your type. again, don't insult our intelligence. if anyone needs further proof of ryan's homosexuality, think back the the man on the street interviews he was doing. remember when he was asking people who they thought should go home and one chickenhead said 'blake' and ryan completely flipped his shit about it? don't talk about his boyfriend like that. now that chris is gone, ryan's got blake all to himself.

So, results. i'm gonna act like it all happened at once because, honestly, i ff'd through b. gibb's performance. so, for me, it kind of did. Jordin is first to be saved. no surprise there. melinda is next. no surprise a'tall. Between Blake and LaKisha, I knew it would be LaKisha. Simon and Ryan knew it would be LaKisha. Paula knew where her pills were this week. LaKisha knew it would be LaKisha. Seriously, like, from the beginning of the hour, LaKisha knew it would be LaKisha. So it's LaKisha who goes home. No surprise there. What was surprising was that i shed like, 2 tears during her video. everyone was crying! i didn't want to be left out.

umm, so a lot of people have a lot of theories. i think melinda for sure will be in the top 2. i don't want to make a guess just yet before the performance about who the other will be. I think...because i really dislike Jordin and I feel like she's experiencing somewhat of a backlash and so many people are saying she'll win, i want her to be the first out. but, blake has also really needs to save himself with the performances...so really, i think it's up in the air.

On a more serious note...

I know we've all had moments when we feel like we have no one to turn to, no one to talk to. Sometimes, you just want advice from someone who doesn't know you on a personal basis, someone that's detached from your life and can help you look at things in a different light. Recently, I've found this person, and she's really helped me through a lot of tough times. I thought it'd be too selfish of me to keep this amazing woman to myself, so i'll share the address with all of you. as a gift, to help you just keep on truckin'.
here you go (you're welcome):
This will change your life

Subway Spotlight: Lady Next to Me on the F

This lady, whom i'll call Melba, really ruffled my feathers this morning. And since Subway Spotlight is ever expanding, I thought it would be appropriate to highlight her here. This morning, I step onto a crowded F train and head to work. i find myself a nice pole to hang on to (dirty!) for the ride. about two stops later, Melba gets on and stands next to me, sharing the pole. then approximately two more stops later, two seats clear up next to my pole, so i take the better seat (aka not the middle) and melba sits next to me (aka in the middle). maybe 2 seconds after i sit, melba grabs my arm and says to me "can you turn that down?" i look at her with the most confounded look (even though she only got half of it, since i was wearing my cool shades) because, whilst listening to my ipod, the volume is at a level that's just loud enough to hear over the train. and i was pretty sure that i hadn't brought my 80's-style boombox on my shoulder today. There was no way she would've been able to hear the 'pod unless she was that kind-of butch mechanic lady that got killed on Heroes. So i'm looking at her all cornpoozedly, she's looking at me all expectantly like "why are you looking at me like that? i can demand whatever i want since i'm sitting bitch" we kind of have a stare off for about 3 seconds until her gaze slowly drifts up to the dude that had also been sharing the pole with us whence we were all standing. and then she says "oh! it's not you! sorry!"
inexplicably, even after i said 'no problem' i was still steaming about it. i don't really know why. but i got over it when, several minutes later,a softer song came on my 'pod and i could hear Third Dude's music over the train and over my own music. and he was sitting across the aisle. the end.

SRC: Top 4 Performances!

i'm gonna go ahead and be a post machine today even though for some reason, the comments have stopped...and really its the comments that keep me and becca going. :( i guess i'll forgive everyone this time, but comments really help me decide what to keep in reality corner...and just remember, everytime a post goes uncommented on, a baby bunny's ears fall off.

Mentor: Barry Gibb Theme: Songs of Barry Gibb

Ok, we have 3 girls and one boy left. Each contestant has two songs tonight. Barry Gibb, I think is missing a very important part of his mustache. It's like the opposite of a Hitler mustache. Picture it. Looks weird, right?

MELINDA (1) - I really think Melinda can do anything..for example, the way she takes the judges' criticism -- unlike Jordin, who was way annoying about it last week. Or Chris who got mad. Or Phil who just ignores the judges' opinions and basically mouthkissed the audience.
BLAKE (1) - this first song is weird for me. blake takes the judges well also.
LAKISHA (1) - Bad marks on this first song. Takes it like a man though. Everyone's being great about the criticism tonight.
JORDIN (1) - annoys me at least 4 times before she even performs.
MELINDA (2) - brings it back with #2.
BLAKE (2) - just not doing it for me tonight. and 'vocal entendre [Lewis 2007]' overkill. blake turns the flirt on for what could be his last chance at seacrest.

OK, then there's this weird part where Ryan introduces Judge Judy and it seems like she was just supposed to stand there, but the fame got to her head and she made it like this weird skit thing... but basically they need to stop giving people mics if they don't want them to do more than just stand. it's quincy and the color purple all over again. Poor Simon's mom got totally overlooked.

LAKISHA (2) - better than her first at least
JORDIN (2) - Boring. and Fake. and ugh. kinda bad. So the judges don't love this performance either and when simon criticizes her, she responds with a weird fake overeager smile that looks like she's baring her fangs. then, she makes a really immature face.

I think Melinda is safe. Not sure about how it will play with the other 3. I think that Lakisha will definitely be in the bottom. and just because he had two negatively reviewed performances, i'll say blake is with her. I would also just like to take a minute to say "go america" for a top four of 3 not-skinny bitches and a probs gay dude. go us.

SRC: Top Model - BRITTANY REALLY SUCKS EDITION

Previously: Jael was kicked out but is still spreading the light somewhere.

I feel in harmony with the world, what with people finally turning on Jordin on Idol, and now the world hating Brittany as I do. But I get ahead of myself.

1) when did renee become jael's #1 fan? also, the girls are mad at britters for using her fake drama and sacrificing jael in the process. dionne gives voice to MY FUCKING THOUGHTS EXACTLY, noting brittany's enthusiasm for the acting challenge (where they also had to memorize) and complete 180 for the aussie commercials.
2) brit seems like a huge nerd. and turns the annoying dial to 11 this episode.
3) natasha's super confidence might not be that cute anymore
4) dionne keeps asking to keep shit at the go-sees. which was hilarious, then a little bit annoying. i got worried that she'd get called out for it.
5) ok, so, natasha returns at 4:31. which as we know by this cycle, is way too late. she's disqualified. then brit comes a few minutes later and throws a FIT! doesn't even go in. sees natasha waiting and just starts crying. and screaming. and blaming the cab driver (and we are reminded in a flashback that it's not the driver's faul at all. take some fucking responsibility brit) even though she's the idiot here. so she looks REALLY stupid. the judges of the challenge can hear her having a fit and it was at this point that i realized that my dream might actually come true. later she's bitching to renee and she's like "i was ONE MINUTE LATE!" and renee is all 'actually, natasha was one minute late. you were a few minutes after her." And the best thing of all?? None of the designers said they would book brittany. hahahahahaha!
6) Jaslene barely makes it back in time but is totally hilarious once they realize natasha and brittany are late. natasha shows up and when whatshername says she's late she goes "no, i'm not" but then takes it like a man. she rightly tries to put brit in her place basically by saying she's overreacting. in her words, "there are wars in other countries" Jaslene wins the challenge, shares the booty with Dionne. They take awesome peekchas with nigel on a bridge.
7) photo shoot - a shot for a men's magazine and then women's. with sexy dudes. tyra's the photog for the women's mag, some other dude for the men's. i have a theory that tyra isn't a good photographer because -- why are all her pictures in sepia? I bet she sucks at composition. this batch especially looks super photoshopped. they all do well for the most part.
8) brit-t-t-t: "i don't think i'll be in the bottom 2 again because i think i did a damn good job!" FOOL!
9) bottom 2 => dionne and brit. i was really nervous here because i thought for sure since brit got so much negative face time this episode that they were trying to throw us off and i woulda been angry if dionne was out before brit. but alas, the writers were important after all and brit gets the boot. FINALLY!!! i literally jumped up and down, fists in the air, when it happened.
10) unfortunately, i think d is out next week at this rate. it seems like renee is in the lead now with natasha hot on her heels. jaslene is returning to form and stepping up her game again. the editors must be doing something right because i've forgotten to hate renee anymore.

Next week, we find out who makes it to the finals. hoorah!!

Rat infested Taco Bell officially closed down

well, in case you were thinking of going there tonight for dinner - i think it's only fair to tell you that the rat infested Taco bell in the east village has been officially shut down.

but, there's still one thing i would like to know, and that is...what do the taco bell rats think about this whole situation?



I smell rejuvinated ad campaign!!!!

SRC: Shear Genius - 1st EDITION

I love Tabitha. I'm fond of Donna and Anthony. I think it's the accents of these three that really get me. I appreciate Daisy's work, but I can see how she might get too talky. I don't know yet where I stand on Ben. I think he's supposed to be the Sebelia of this bunch. Neck tat and all.

I don't like Tyson. or Dr. Boogie. Because. Really. You're gonna wear the same bandanna in a variety of colors every single day AND make people call you doctor? Evangeline is alright, but she's way annoying.

Donna wins the shortcut challenge.

ROWR. There's a catfight about hedge trimmers. Damn. Uh oh. The Tab brings it up to the host and guest judge...maybe taking it too far, but seriously, girl was getting ridiculous about those hedge trimmers. nothing really gets resolved.

Challenge - Red Carpet Hairdo for Vanessa Williams

God, this Rene dude has such a hard time with English. Is that his name? Did I make that up? I also kind of can't stand his catchphrase "Go shake it!!" He's no Tim Gunn.

My girl V is the guest judge. Top 2 this week are Daisy and Danna (winner). Bottom 2 are Ben and Evangeline. Evangeline and her hedge trimmers go home this week. But not before a way too long and awkward goodbye speech. See you next week, when maybe I will feel more confident about predictions...

SRC: Top 4!

So, some stuff happens, and then someone makes some crack about how Simon is a puppetmaster and Paula is a puppet or something and then Ryan says "oh but you're prettier" which both Simon and I immediately take as an insult to Simon's girlfriend. So Simon gets all mad and then Ryan is like "I wasn't talking about your girlfriend" and then Randy says "Fiance!" and it's all very confusing to me. Sooo, then a few minutes later, Ryan is asking LaKisha what it's like to kiss Simon and she's all "i'd do it again!" So then Ryan says that she should back off because Simon has a girlfriend and "they are in a very serious relationship." So then Simon genuinely cracks up for a really long time. I wish i were in on that joke, because it seemed like it was pretty funny.

Robin Thicke performs. Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son, and I can definitely see that. But it looks like Orlando Bloom might be his mother. He sings in falsetto but is way too preppy to pull of the timberlake r&b vibe, so the whole thing makes me a little uncomfortable.

Then some more stuff happens. And then we're at the first threesome. Melinda. Phil. LaKisha. Melinda SAFE!! LaKisha SAFE!! YES! NOSPHILATU HAS BEEN VANQUISHED!! THE NEEDIEST VAMP IN TOWN!! SUNLIGHT HAS RISEN ON YOU OL' BOY!! phew. okay sorry. one down. During his performance, Phil basically fondles everyone in the audience. Ick.

The Idol Challenge is...like...are you serious??

The Next three up are Jordin, Chris, and Blake. Ryan immediately tells Jordin to sit. Well, at least the world knows now. We break for a performance by Bon Jovi (which i was surprisingly entertained by) while 2 different groups of girls across the country prepare to have their hearts broken. Umm...guys, Blake and Chris are totally doing it. And Chris is out. Sad, but expected. Until next time!!

SRC: Top 6! Again!

Mentor: Jon Bon Jovi Theme: Music of Bon Jovi. New Jersey rejoices.

[The "_____ says:" portion of this will be done by Hobo Ryan. Because unless Idol is doing Mustache Survivor, then he's just scruffy for the hell of it.

NOSPHILATU - my sources tell me Phil is Vote for the Worst's new target...which -- I mean he's not terrible, he's just creepy and totally soft rock.

Hobo Ryan says: Boy, you been beggin' on my turf. get off my lawn!!!!

JORDIN - The Jove immediately hates Jordin as I do because the first thing she says to him is that her mom loves him. Ouch! Ugh!! This SUCKS. And if the judges don't think so, then there's definitely a conspiracy going on. FINALLY!!! YES!!! THEY AGREE!!! OH SIMON!! oh man. she's being so annoying about receiving the bad comments.

Hobo Ryan says: Giant! Giant on the loose! Fie!!

LAKISHA - Woah! LaKisha has personality. Haha, she said she saw Bon Jovi on Oprah. Kiki's back!

Hobo Ryan says: Keep your DAMN LIPS off MY MAN ,you cockatoo!!

BLAKE - Bon Jovi seems to be near tears that Blake is changing the arrangement for his beloved song. Woah. Blake has dark hair. Simon is totes right about this when he says half of the audience will love and half will hate.

Hobo Ryan says: hunkabunka. do me.

CHRIS R - Cutie!!
Bon Jovi is so skeptical about almost all of the contestants.

Hobo Ryan says: This boy outta here.

MELINDA - Before I watched the show, I saw this part on a tv across the way at the gym and without my contacts I thought they had brought Gina back. Melinda is everything wonderful.

Hobo Ryan says: mmmyep.

Hey! They digitized George and Laura Bush just like Elvis.

My Bottom 3 Guess: Jordin Phil Chris
My Bottom 2 Based on Performance: Jordin, Chris

awesome my ass!!

whoever owns the domain name www.awesome.com should really get spoken to because seriously - with awesome as the domain name you'd expect the site to be a little more...well...awesome or at least kinda rad!!

take a look at this crap and then let me know if you want to sign my petition to have www.awesome.com's domain name changed to www.lame.com

Shear Genius

Is anybody else watching this wonderful show? Or should I keep my comments to myself.

OMG!! LOL!!

I don't know if there is anything i can say about this article right here (click it. believe me it's worth it) that would make it any better.

SRC: Double Cop-Out and a Bonus Edition!

TOP MODEL:

A clip show that I didn't even bother to watch more than 17 seconds of. Bummer.

AMERICAN IDOL:

I can't believe they made me sit through TWO FUCKING HOURS of performances and tearjerking videos and really AWKWARD moments and so much anticlimactic teasing...the most shocking duet they've been promising? Celine Dion and a digital Elvis. WHAT?!?! (good thing it was one of my favorite songs) the most shocking elimination in idol's history that they teased all episode -- NOBODY!! They said they absolutely COULDN'T kick anyone off on a charity episode! They made me sit through two hours of corporate shilling and poking my heart until i teared up (yes, i admit it, i did) for NOTHING. and after getting my hopes up by pretending that Jordin was getting the boot?! For shame, idol. for shame!

SEARCH FOR THE NEXT PUSSYCAT DOLL...AKA FETCH ME A SKANK:

It seems as though there will be a season 2, and i will definitely do my best to add it to reality corner. For this season, I never saw a full episode...only the last half hour for maybe the last four or five weeks, but i was immediately rooting for chelsea -- maybe because she was the prettiest, maybe because she was the only one whose name i knew. (though for a few weeks i knew her only as "bangs"...imagine my surprise when i catch an older episode on mtv at the gym this weekend and find out that she didn't always have them. my mind was blown.) Anyway, she placed third. I guess a lack of great dancing skillz is a detriment when it comes to the pussycat dolls. so then it came down to other girls (for a while i thought the ones that weren't chelsea were all melissa) that i knew nothing about. and the girl that i didn't want to win because of the stupid way she taps the mic with her fingers whilst she sings took the prize and got to perform with the Dolls. I thought she looked silly. maybe because she's a child compared to the other Dolls. maybe because i don't think she's that pretty. ah well. next season i'll get more invested.

SRC: Idol Gives Back

Oh thank god. Hopefully we won't have to hear about it naymore.

TOP 6 PERFORMANCES. Mentor: Bono --- Inspirational Songs

CHRIS - Chris wisely kept the frills to a minimum and I thought parts of the song were very pretty.
Simon Says: Now that Sanjaya's gone, this bitch is official.

MELINDA - heart heart heart heart heart
Simon Says: All bow down to the Doolittle.

--umm, here's a question...where are the Bono mentoring clips?

BLAKE - to be honest, I was a little bored.
Simon Says: I agree with Sara, but at least you really meant it.

LAKISHA - bounced back from last week, but i'm dubious about her chances.
Simon Says: Shut up to the audience. Nice.

NOSPHILATU - Oh man. Dentist office music. That's what he is. That's why he's so creepy!!
Simon Says: Remember how we said stick with country last week? Yeah, you should do that.
Phil is so damn needy I hate it.

JORDIN - BO-RING. And pitchy at parts. That's right. I said it. My ears bleed. Why doesn't anyone see this? Randy -- is so wrong. What is everyone listening to?
Simon Says - ugh. what are these people ON?!?

I think this competition might come down to Melinda and Jordin.

I think Phil is going home and I think Blake and LaKisha are joining him in the bottom.

talk about a real butt head!

you know me and bathroom humor....

i just must direct your attention to this news story:
boy gets toilet seat stuck on head

a reluctant admittance

i have a confession to make.

i, becca jones, have been watching "the search for the next pussycat doll".

i am ashamed to admit that i watch it because it's reality tv at it's worst. every single girl was throwing up and dying the first show and yet they still made them audition or else get ejected! i believe the finale is on tonight - and i'll probably watch it and i just might cry....

apparently they are currently accepting submissions for the search for the next pussycat doll 2. i wonder if i should apply?


my application photo - (what happened when i tried to dance like a pussycat doll once)

I forgotted!!

I meant to post this last friday, but alas, i am a forgetful bean.

here are five things that made my mouth drop:

1) Paris Hilton and James Blunt dating. Two people I despise from deep within. i would be pleased if they both exploded together.

2) A girl that was at virginia tech during the massacre was also a survivor of Columbine. that poor girl must hate education.

3) I read some article that said Sanjaya is planning on taking over Broadway. he must mean the corner of Broadway and 43rd, collecting change.

4) There was a man on the train reading a pink newspaper. A PINK newspaper!!!

5) We are sliming Sanjaya today at work (Me:TV) and i'm thrilled.

SRC: Top Model - KANGA EDITION

1) Some former top model contestant from the one season I never watched shows up to teach the girls how to interview. Between Dionne, Natasha, and Jaslene's accented speaking, Renee and Brittany speaking only bitch and excusese, respectively, and Jael not knowing how to open her mouth, maybe they should start with some speaking classes instead.
2)Tyra comes dressed as a kangaroo, with a real kangaroo, to announce that they are going to Australia!!! Jaslene's awesome reaction is "I've never been anywhere besides the hood and around the corner." Nata's reaction is about 7 minutes late. she on russian time.
3) i want that kangaroo to box brittany
4) Natasha quote of the day: "I was so excited to come to Australia, you know, somebody has a dream to go to Japan, somebody is crazy about the Ti-bet."
5) Challenge - The girls have to incorporate Aussie slang in their interviews. Brittany complains about something that I'll get back to in a minute. Renee and Natasha really impress me. Dionne underwhelms and says "aks" and "that's cool that's cool" a lot. Jaslene is pretty endearing when she uses the slang. I want to start saying "don't be a cactus" to people.
6) Foreign Cover Girl commercial time. The girls have to do this one with an Australian accent and I'm super excited. Every time the top 6 have to do this in a new country's language/dialect, hilarity ensues. I hate when they do commercials because there's no photo shoot, but ah well.
7 & 8) Ok, time for the aforementioned Brittany complaint/incident because she brings it up AGAIN during the shoot. Apparently, about five years ago, she was hit by a car and it affected her short term memory and her ability to do her own hair. Oh...just the first one. i was in a car accident about four years ago and i got bonked in the head, have no memory of the accident, had a 6 second short term memory for the day, a handful of minutes the next day, and it improved from there. I got out of memorizing a script in the weeks after because it was difficult to do, which was cool..but these days it's a really minor thing. i'm not saying we experienced the exact same thing, but i know that Brit isn't the guy from Memento because we've seen her fuctioning normally the whole season. She never brought this up before, she's just using it as another excuse because she's a whiner who's afraid of just not being good enough. ps four months after my accident i had to do a lengthy monologue in an australian accent and it was no problem.
9) COVER GIRL SHOOT
RENEE - is kind of awesome here. mostly because of the accent
DIONNE - underwhelms again :(
JAEL - these accents have me rolling on the ground. Jael's such a weirdo. I'll miss her. spoiler alert.
JASLENE - Jaslene's accent isn't terrible, but she makes her voice go really high and it's high-larious.
BRITTANY - starts the shoot not with a try but with an excuse. i hate her. they bring out cue cards and she still pulls the memory card by saying she can't memorize from the card to saying it into the camera, but you don't have to memorize from a cue card. YOU FUCKING READ IT LIKE YOU HAVE SHIFTY EYES! that's the whole POINT! ARGH!
NATASHA - impressive. a pretty decent australian accent considering she already speaks english with a russian accent. This is a valid excuse brittany
10) Bottom 2 : Jael and Brittany (damn i'm good. sometimes.) I knew Jael's time was up this week, but I was definitely hoping for a surprise brit boot. there's always next week.

I think renee and natasha are a lock for the finals and the third spot will come down to dionne or jaslene.

SRC: Top 6!

Everyone prayed to the heavens and we were granted our one wish!!!

A bunch of stuff happens, then Ryan presents our first performer for the evening -- Fergie. I literally said out loud "What the hay-ell??" Dionne-style. Then there's a KidzBop commercial for Ford. And THEN comes the good stuff. First off, the bottom 3. Ryan splits the seven in two groups consisting of Phil, Jordin, Chris, and LaKisha, Sanjaya and Blake. Melinda is (OF COURSE) safe. Looking at these two groups it is almost impossible to guess which group was the bottom. Going by the past, it seems like the bottom group should've been the one with chris and phil in it. but jordin being in there threw things off. anyway, we find out that it's not that group at all and i was way off in my prediction. well 2/3 off. Martina performs and everyone dies inside of too much beauty. then ryan is quick to save his boyfriend, Blake and send him back to the peanut gallery. at this time, everyone is biting their nails because if Sanjaya knocks out LaKisha then the world will end. but alas, sanjaya is told it's finally his time and he immediately starts crying like a little bitch. he hangs on to laKisha like she's his momma and cries into her bosom and refuses to let go so ryan has to introduce his clip package without sanjaya. and here's where my problem with this whole prank was. to everyone in the country, this was a huge joke. sanjaya being kept on each week. we all knew this, he did not. he thought that he was getting by on talent, which is why he seemed genuinely shocked when he got those comments tuesday and why he was so crushed when he got the boot last night. so now he's ruined for life, but i still didn't tear up during his goodbye montage. everything makes sense again and now we actually have a real competition. i'm hoping phil is out next week.

Subway Spotlight: Smart-Ass Kid

I overheard a kid approximately 8 years of age say the following to his mother whilst riding on the F train.

"If you're not coming home from work, then you're just a dumb ol' artist. All you do is make Disney pictures and pictures of tacky old women."

Coolface Brother Joke Time!!!!

American Idol Country Night?!
I thought they put the hoedown last week!

Now that's just out of line!

At the subway sandwich place today the line was extremely long during lunch hour. It wrapped around the store and even went out the door. I heard a guy behind me say, "this is like a chipotle line!". It's a pretty high traffic subway when it's line is compared with a chipotle line!

SRC: Top 7 Performances!

Country Night -- Martina McBride

I don't think I've ever known what Martina McBride looks like...

NOSPHILATU - McBride's got the shifty eyes. like she's wondering where her garlic necklace is.

JORDIN - Jordin TOWERS over Martina like an Amazon. Fittingly, she's wearing what I believe is Wonder Woman's prom dress.

SANJAYA - is getting cocky. i think the end might be nigh.

SIMON - FINALLY says something about the whole sanjaya/debacle prank. i think it's hilarious that sanjaya seems genuinely shocked when he gets bad feedback from simon and when simon says that he's as bad as the first round of idol. IT'S FUCKING TRUE SANJAYA. stop kidding yourself. ryan stirs some shit. simon disses him in an adorable way.

LAKISHA - I think Martina is in love with Lakisha. I totally agreed with the judges tonight tho.

CHRIS - I'm pretty sure Martina took her pants off for Chris. Cutie.

MELINDA - Melinda got her hair did. and it looks goooooood.

BLAKE - everyone's hero. the only guy with a chance.

bottom 3 guess: chris, sanjaya, and phil. it makes my heart heavy to say that it might be chris. how many lives do vampires have, anyway???

SARA HAS PROVEN HER WIT-T-T-T-T-T!!!!

FINALLY, everyone!!! After many, many (ok, four) runner-up prizes, I have finally taken the gold in The Gilded Moose's weekly Prove Your Wit captioning contest. Three cheers!! I don't mean to brag or anything...in the way that i actually do mean to brag...because this road to the top has not been easy. I'd like to thank Fellowship member and personal brother, Ricky, for introducing me to The Gilded Moose. I'd like to thank my partner in crime/business/life/tennis doubles, Becca, for always being so supportive in my efforts. I'd like to thank my mom for doing my taxes "one last year" for the third year in a row. And of course, many thanks to The Gilded Moose for shining a light on a small mexican girl from a small sunny island. And how could I forget to thank Jordan Knight, my #1 crush ages 6 through 10.

Check out the post here!!!

SRC: Top Model - EVERYONE HAS BABIES EDITION

Previously: Sarah FINALLY went home. Everyone told Renee why they hate her.

Whitney's all "I'm gonna rock this week." I'm all "No. You're not."

1) Everyone is convinced Renee has changed, but Dionne is still unsure.
2) Brittany is such a whiner, she gets de-weaved. What will she complain about now?
3) There is an acting challenge with Tia Mowry and Vote for Pedro and Whitney's all "I'm gonna win this." and I'm all "No. You're not."
4) Renee wins the challenge and chooses Dionne to share the prize with. Dionne internally raises a suspicious brow because she doesn't buy it. They think they win teeny tshirts, but it turns out the real prize is a visit from their families/babies.
5) Renee keeps giving her husband closed mouth kisses. Like he's her grandpa.
6) The first thing that comes to Dionne's head when she sees her family is "What the fuck is wrong with my baby's hair?!" Reason #2178 why I love Dionne. Reason #2179 - her potty mouth. #2180 - her mother was shot and paralyzed whilst trying to turn some turd's life around and she says this as though it's no big deal.
7) I was with Natasha until she said "Somebody decided that I don't miss my baby as much as the others." --- unfair of her to say. I understand she was upset but...she made it seem like they did that purposely to hurt her. If Renee picked Jaslene to share the prize, then Dionne also wouldn't have gotten to see her baby.

PHOTO SHOOT - Reenacting famous moments from previous cycles with past contestants.

JASLENE - BRE - GRANOLA BARS - Jaslene is so excited about meeting/shooting with Bre...it makes me love her more.
NATASHA - MICHELLE - FLESH EATING BACTERIA - Michelle looks great and Natasha killed it.
WHITTELLE - SHANNON - NUDE SHOOT - Whittelle laughs at Jay's cycle 1 look. Whitney's all "Oh, I'm gonna rock this." And I'm all "No. You're just not."
JAEL - REBECCA - FAINTING - I heart Jael even more after she responded to seeing the clip of Rebecca fainting at panel with "Woah. She rules." This was not her best shoot though.
BRITTANY - MICHELLE, AMANDA - NOT SURE WHAT THIS 'ISSUE' WAS - Ugh. I admit it. It's a good picture. However, my roommate noticed that the twins were pixellated and Brittany was photoshopped to look more prominent.
RENEE - JOANIE! - DENTIST- Joanie!!!! Joanie!!!!! Hooray for Joanie!!! Joanie steals this shoot. because she rules.
DIONNE - KIM - GIRL ON GIRL ACTION - Dionne is kind of homophobic about this which I was unprepared for. but once she got over it, she rocked the shoot and actually *wink wink* enjoyed herself.

8) There's a lot of weird voiceovers added in post regarding the comicbook style of the shoot...and they never show the pictures in the screen...which leads me to believe that they weren't looking at the same final product in panel as we were on our picture boxes....like they had the whole comic idea way later. weird.
9) This week they told Renee to be not so ugly, but last week they told her to ugly it up. How are the girls supposed to know what they are doing with the CONSTANT contradictions? oh what do i care. i love a batch of confused girls.
10) It comes down to Whitney and Jael. Whitney knows the second that she's one of the final two that she's going home. Whitney says in her exit interview that she honestly didn't think she'd be eliminated today. I say she should've asked me about it last week.

I think Jael and Brittany will go in the next couple weeks. What does everyone else think?

SRC: Top 7! r.i.p. white girls

For some unknown reason the results shows are now an hour long. Idol better fucking give back, I think I've given them at least 178 hours of my life this season alone. Bottom 3 are Phil, Haley, and Chris. Thankfully, Phil's streak of being saved is over and Chris gets sent back to the seats. It's hilarious because this entire hour long episode, Haley KNEW she was going home. Phil is creepy and does what creepy guys do which is lurk around for longer than they are wanted. Hopefully he's out next week. My fake hatred for Sanjaya is turning into real hatred because he's talking a lot more now than he used to and he's just exposing himself as THE biggest dweeb on the planet. and apparently he's taking straight lessons from the ryan seacrest school of overexaggerating/fabricating a fondness for women, because neither of them convince me. I was also thinking last night how I'm most comfortable with ryan seacrest as an asexual person. because i really don't buy him with women. and he's so uncomfortable about publicly liking men, you can't really see him in that light. I like to think he can just grow mini-seacrests out of his side. a little army of seacrests.
umm, yeah. that's all. akon performed and it was nothing special. j.lo performed and it was 'passionate'. i really don't want to hear anyone else say that jordin is genuine because she's so false with the camera and her eyebrow lifting and it's all a show and i don't buy for one second that she's genuine.

not one gosh durn second.

SRC: Top 8 Performances - ALL J.LO EDITION!!!

Latin Night. Guest "Mentor" - J.Lo. I'm not sure if J.Lo...as a vocal mentor...makes much sense to me...but it's brought the all J.Lo edition of Spring Reality Corner, so I am thankful.

ps - i would've paid to see Gina do Latin Night

MELINDA - J.Lo is all "I'm from the Bronx. Girl, you sexy!"
LAKISHA - J.Lo is all "I'm a dancer, I was a Fly Girl."
CHRIS - J.Lo is all "Hablo espanol! I could buy this white boy!"
HALEY - J.Lo is all "This ho sucks. I better lend her an outfit. Shoot."
NOSPHILATU - J.Lo is all "I rode on the 6. I've never seen a guy as creepy as you."
JORDIN - J.Lo is all "I'm Jenny from the block. I will teach you to be a woman."
BLAKE - J.Lo is all "Don't you dare sing my husband Marc Anthony's song. Oh, just kidding. It's okay."
SANJAYA - J.Lo is all "Girl!"

I hope the bottom three is Haley Phil and Sanjaya.

Please don't make the same mistake I did

As a public service I decided that we should begin compiling a list of inappropriate baby names.

Here you have the initial list:

Hanibal (the kid is a cannibal)
Lester (molester)
Adolf (not a good idea, particularly if your child has a tiny moustache)
Mario & Luigi (ok by themselves, but inappropriate for twins)
Chucky (your kid is a possessed doll on a killing spree)
Caligula (your child is a depraved roman emperor)
Gaylord
Satan (unless your child is a rottweiler)
Zorro
Lassie (my child is the mental equivalent of smart dog)
Mr. Ed (actually, I’d give major credit to someone who names their kid Mr. Ed)
Bambi
Jabba (thanks sara, duh becca)
Becca (wait…..)


Additions to this list are welcome!

my favorite old man

i went to see grindhouse this weekend (so effing awesome. mostly planet terror, but i still appreciated it as a whole) with my roommate and as we were waiting for the flick to start, my roommate pointed out an old man sitting all by his lonesome a few rows diagonally down from us. he was wearing a little beanie and wolfing down popcorn. my roommate and i were discussing the types of people that go to movies alone, and that they are either really sweet souls or complete assholes. just judging by the looks of this guy, we assumed he was of the asshole variety, but my roommate made a note that we should keep checking up on him throughout the film to see his reaction. before the film started, he left -- we assumed it was to get more popcorn since he'd already finished his first batch, but when he came back empty-handed, we realized he was probably also empty-bladdered. anyway, i first realized i loved this man when he removed his hat by grasping the tip and gently tugging it off his head. Our true love blossomed for this 60-something year old gent when we noticed that he was absolutely LOVING this movie. Throughout the three and some hours, he alternated between these two expressions:

Oh man, he was GREAT!!! i really like to think that this movie took him back.

SRC: Top Model - POOL PARTY EDITION

Previously: Diana was chubby and boring, so she got sent back to Jers.

Twiggy meets with the girls to help them create a new name for themselves. We find out Twiggy's real name is Leslie Hornby. How quaint. Dionne chooses byfar the best name: "Wholihay".

For this week's challenge, the girls go to a SmartWater party to try out their new nicknames. There are "celebs" like Tia and Tamara Mowry and celebs like 50 Cent, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. (Although it's debatable whether these girls are celebs or "celebs".) Jael annoys the shit out of 50 cent to the point where he pushes her into the pool. For some unknown reason, Natasha jumps in after her. Each girl has to try and impress Tyra's BFF, Benny Medina and his cohorts. Wholihay wins this challenge. Also worth mentioning is this: Nicole Richie asks Renee who she hates in the house and Renee says Jael. Cut to: Nicole Richie going up to Jael and saying "That girl told me she hated you." Later in the house, when Jael and Renee are discussing this incident, Jael says to Renee "You're so beautiful, it's such a waste." Awesome. She then tells Renee that none of the girls in the house like her and when Renee asks them if this is true, she's met with awkward silence.

This week's photo shoot is some sort of beauty thing where they have to show four different sides of themselves. It was pretty effing boring.

DIONNE - does well
JASLENE - looks dragalicious in all her pics. This was her first misstep.
NATASHA - i'm glad they didn't cut her early
WHITNEY - BORING
JAEL - saved herself with these pictures. otherwise, i think the bad behavior at the party would've gotten her booted.
SARAH - sucks. and gets the same goddamn criticism every week yet there's never any improvement.
BRITTANY - I'm counting down the days. why doesn't she ever get scolded about not taking care of her hair. she just gets coddled. that hair is nappy. did you see how it stuck straight out of her head at panel like it was made of cotton candy?
RENEE - looks orange. but a pretty orange.

After the photo shoot, my guess for the bottom two is Whitney and Sarah.

Tyra has a therapy session with the girls. It comes out that Renee is a hateful bitch. Tyra is all "you know the best thing to do when you're feeling attacked? Have everyone sit around you and tell you why they hate you." i can probably think of a couple of better ways to approach this situation. I think Renee is this cycle's eva and they want to make us learn to love her.

Panel: Down to Whitney and Sarah. I thought Whittel would go, but then realized they probably didn't want to do one plus size right after the other - especially with everyone calling Tyra fat these days. So - Sarah this week (HOO-FUCKING-RAY!!!!!) and whitney next week. and hopefully brittany the week after.

Top 8!

It shouldn't have been Gina! I was not only completely stunned and caught off guard by this, but i was also pretty pissed about it. i don't want to say too much about how sanjaya is ruining this show and how obnoxious people that don't care about the show are helping him along, but seriously, it's sad for these kids that are actually trying to do something with their careers. Anyway, regardless of Sanjaya (because he's kind of just there, i don't think anyone really considers him a competitor), I definitely thought that Haley and Phil would both go before Gina. You can tell Haley thought it would be her, but she's underestimated the power of her A+ getaway sticks and Jessica Rabbit-ly powers of seduction. And I guess Phil is backed not only by the military voting crowd, but also the horror movie fans. I loved during Gina's sing-off (which was one of the better singing whilst crying moments) when they do an extended shot of sanjaya looking like the guiltiest motherfucker in the world. yeah. take that! i hope your soul is ruined. i can't believe my girl is gone! i knew she wasn't gonna win, but c'mon now. at least sanjaya hasn't broken into the top three yet--which we now know (and kind of always did know) consists of Melinda, LaKisha, and Jordin.

SRC: Top 9 Performances - Classics

Guest Mentor: Tony Bennett

BLAKE - i think he does great with this song. he did what chris daughtry refused to do and sang a song in the style it was written instead of making the song be the style that suits him.

NOSPHILATU - creepy. has a creepy old man crush on tony. he is so sweaty after the judges comments. i hate how defensive and needy he is.

MELINDA - face! face! in her clip she starts to cry and somewhere a baby bunny dies because it is so sad. but then i got rhythm came along and melinda was all "shazam!" and the bun bun came back to life.

-I think if ryan seacrest ever did a woman, it would be Melinda Doolittle. and he'd be really awkward about it.

CHRIS R - Oh. hooray. we can just call him chris. cutie.

JORDIN - oh everyone loves little jordin sparks. well guess what? i don't! yeah, i said it.

GINA - i heart this gina glocksen character

SANJAYA - i wish this clown weren't taking up a spot. i bet he plays d & d. and he wears a cape to the meetings. oh and after simon tries a new tactic and says "incredible!", Sanjaya quite nerdily shouts "WELCOME TO THE SANJAYA UNIVERSE!"

HALEY - Ryan asks her if its scary to wait for the judges responses and she only talks about simon. as though he were the only judge. I think haley might be turning into jessica rabbit. the judges are kind of rude about how she's all va va voom. haley is pissed about it.

LAKISHA - Ruan seems to have been attacked by a small man prior to introducing LaKisha. LaKisha has weird head gestures. Anyway, excellent as always.

My guess for the bottom 3 this week is Sanjaya, Phil and Haley.

and now, in non reality tv news...

I was at the pharmacy this morning picking up some magic drugs and there was a bit of a wait because the woman that was being helped was having problems with her insurance...at the time I arrived, i would guess by the exasperation on the pharmacist's face (as well as the faces of his assistants) that she had probably been there about 10 - 15 minutes already. one of the assistants tried to help me at the same time that this woman's problem was being addressed, but it seemed too overwhelming a thing for her to handle...so she told me it would be about a 10 minute wait. During these ten minutes, the pharmacist figured out a way for her insurance to go through. He proudly announced this to her and then said "but it's gonna cost the same..." With my detective skillz, i assumed he meant that it was going to cost the same amount they were going to originally charge her before this whole insurance fiasco. He then told her that she had a deductible, to which she responded "Deductible?! i don't have a deductible!" Calm Pharmacist says "It went through and this is what they told me" and then he showed her the cost of the medicine. She said something like 'That's what it costs for five pills?! How much will it cost when i need more?!" Exasperated Pharmacist shrugged and walked away to fill the prescription. Disgruntled lady then says to herself "That's no deductible" turns back to her cell phone (she's been on hold with her insurance company), quietly says "okay thanks", and then just slowly sidles away while the backs of all three pharmacy employees are turned. They don't realize she's left until about 2 minutes later, when assistant number one turns to say "can i have that --- UNbelievable!"

SRC: Top Model - GIRLS WILL BE BOYS EDITION

Previously: Felicia was getting too cute, so Tyra sent her home.

We start with Natasha on the phone with the husband that picked her from a catalogue. She makes weird noises on the phone with him and there's also some meowing. Also, who knew she had a baby? Also, does the baby have a name? or is it "Baby"?

Later in the house, Whitney and Diana are talking about how great it is to have 2 plus size girls in the house. At this point, my roommate says one of them is going home. I not only agree, but predict that it will be down to the two of them.

Some model and some lady from Elite teach the girls how to dress. The girls then go to Sears to participate in a style challenge/get an application for a job should this modeling thing not work out. They break into groups of threes. My favorite reaction is from Dionne, who says "They told me my groupmates were Sarah and Renee, and I was like 'hmmmm...Sarah and Renee.'" Amen, Dionne. Life further sucks for D when she completely styles Sarah, but Sarah gets credit for it and wins the challenge. And never speaks up about it. I hate her even more now. The best thing she ever did was accurately compare Natasha to a used car salesman.

At the photo shoot, the girls are posing with dudes. But the dudes dress like girls and the girls dress like dudes.

JASLENE does great
BRITTANY looks like Will Forte
RENEE does aight
JAEL is hilarious
DIONNE looks like Chris Rock
SARAH is stupid
WHITNEY is boring
NATASHA is the most amazing thing here. I definitely give her props for how much studying she puts in
DIANA is boring.

Afterwards, Jay asks Diana why she wants to be ANTM and she puts the final nail in her coffin by responding "Just 'cause." I think she wanted to be there but she just wasn't articulate or maybe very smart. Like those kids from school that always got in trouble and would answer to their teachers with their heads hung saying 'just 'cause'.

As predicted, it's down to the chubs --Whitney and Diana. I personally think that Diana has more potential as a model than Whitney, but we all know that in the Top Model Universe, not wanting to be there trumps anything. So, Diana goes home. And Whitney will probably go next week.

SRC: Top 9!

After the quick recap of what went on during Tuesday's episode, Ryan gets down to business and starts to pick out the bottom 3. Phil is the first to get sent over, which i get ecstatic about. I didn't pick him to be there because i feel like he has a solid fan base, but i'm glad i was wrong. at this point, i figure then that chris richardson is safe. We move down and get to Sanjaya who is safe this week. So this means that he's not even in the bottom three. we're never going to get rid of him and Howard Stern and his cronies have effectively ruined this show. And allow me to rant about this for a few seconds because it really pisses me off. This isn't because i take the show too seriously because everyone knows that the singers that are talented and appealing to people will get their record deals and sell records and do wonderful things in life whether or not they win (jennifer hudson,katharine mcphee, chris daughtry, clay aiken, etc), but this is something that a large amount of the american television viewing audience enjoys and this whole vote for the worst crap is like the bully on the playground that hates himself and therefore doesn't want other people to have fun. and this kid. this poor 17 year old kid is the national punchline in this. he's the target for a nation full of jaded dudes and he doesn't know any better so he thinks he's doing great and really it's just everyone in the country is making fun of him to his face. he's gonna be some sort of drug addict in two years time if this keeps going on. it's like, if you hate the show and everything it stands for then just don't watch it. you don't have to try and destroy it and this poor kid's soul with it. especially because every week that boy is still there, i hate him more. and that's just irrational.

ok, enough of that. so, we move to haley and she's in the bottom three. and before we find out who rounds out the bottom 3, gwen stefani performs with akon. i heart gwen stefani and i love that akon showed up to do the "woos". we come back and it's down to sligh and gina. and i cross my fingers for my girl, especially because she did wonderfully last night. fortunately, sligh is the last in the bottom. They save phil (yet again) and send him back to the group, so it's between sligh and haley. i know neither will win, but i cross my fingers that haley will stick around at least another week. Sligh gets sent home and he's the first of the bottom 12 who actually has enough time to sing us out. which is unfortunate because tonight he's even worse than the performance show.

oh and can i just say that the arrangement and singing for those stupid ford commercials that everyone hates (but the idols are required to do) come off as though they are sung by and for the Kidz Bop crowd.

Next week: Tony Bennett (i think) and some cheesy songs i bet.

SRC: Top 10 Performances!!!

Sorry this is a little late today, i had some issues with my vcr last night and thus work has gotten in the way of my youtube viewing. heeeere we gooooo--

LAKISHA - Every time someone sings "Last Dance" on this show, they go home the next day... (see Ryan Starr, Brenna Gethers)... but Lakisha is pretty untouchable right now, and she is separated from those aforementioned two by the enormous amount of talent she possesses.

CHRIS SLIGH - I appreciate sarcasm and dry humor as much as the next guy, but Chris...maybe overdoes it. I'm growing tired of him for many reasons. Including his Pat-like hair.

GINA - I think this was a great week vocally for Gina and I continue to be a fan.

SANJAYA - I love how Gwen Stefani was all "this song is hard...Sanjaya sux...so...good luck with that." Man, I would not want to be hated by Gwen Stefani..and then proceed to ruin one of her songs. Sanjaya has a stupid pony'hawk. Ugh. Please just go.

HALEY - She's gorgeous, she's got a good voice, and she knows how to work those getaway sticks of hers...but she was a little boring this week.

NOSPHILATU - I swear to god Phil gets more and more eye makeup each week. He'd make a pretty lady. Regardless, he still creeps me out.

MELINDA - she's so damn cute and wonderful and i love her.

BLAKE - I was kind of bored during this performance but he looked so adorable!

JORDIN - I think Jordin is what Ugly Betty would look like after a makeover (not that america ferrera isn't a beautiful girl). I understand that she has a good voice, I personally am not a big fan of her singing style. And there's just something about her that's not winning me over.

CHRIS R - M'boy better not be in the bottom again. >:(

my guess for tonight's bottom three are Sanjaya, Chris Sligh, and Haley. If this crazy Sanjaya thing keeps going on, Chris R could be in the bottom as well.

anyone want to add anything??

Also, check out these ADORABLE HAND-HOLDING OTTERS OMG!:

party bike update!

when i was in times square last friday i saw a party bike! does this mean that they were not banned? Maybe the ban hasn't taken effect yet and i was lucky enough to witness one of the last occurances of the party bike in it's natural habitat...or maybe the bike driver just never got the memo.

SRC: Top Model - CRIMINAL EDITION

Renee realizes that everyone hates her and makes a decision to start being nice. Benny Ninja pulls the girls over dressed as the least convincing police officer there ever was and starts to vogue. Felicia is adorable. Diana is awkward. Brittany and Natasha make me uncomfortable. Dionne impresses me. Jael does her whole challenge with BJ face.

Back at the house, Jael burns her face with a curling iron (even though she has half an inch of hair). i love that drug addled weirdo.

At some sort of Tyra "Bank", Benny Ninja is wearing an illfitting onesie. seriously, this guy is worse off than nicole richie. The girls have to go all catherine zeta-jones on us by stealthily posing through beams of light. Benny demonstrates and of course he makes it through without triggering the buzzer because he's the one that sounds the buzzer. Some girls are good, some girls suck. It's hard to tell with all the cuts. Whitney wins.

Photo Shoot - Crime Scene Victim

RENEE - POISONED - Renee finally does a good job on her shoot. Also, she admitted to Jay that the girls hate her because she's a bitch - so at least she's aware. To me, her pic looks like she's thinking, not like she's dead.

JASLENE - PUSHED OFF A ROOF - stellar as always.

BRITTANY - ELECTROCUTED - ugh.

DIANA - STOLEN ORGANS - Diana is pretty, but I'm starting to think that's it.

SARAH - PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS - i still don't get it

JAEL - STRANGLED - It's mean that they did this shoot so soon after her friend died. Tyra sucks.

FELICIA - DECAPITATED - i thought hers was that her throat was slit. because it's not like her head was separate from her body or even hanging off. anywho, she didn't do great in the shoot. she was super confident in this episode and as soon as i saw that i was nervous for her.

WHITNEY - STABBED - I'm still not that impressed by her. She's kind of child-like sometimes too.

NATASHA - DROWNED - Natasha is so frickin weird and foreign. i love it.

DIONNE - SHOT IN THE HEAD - I'm still a big fan of D.

It comes down to Felicia and Dionne. I was bummed about this because I love them both. Dionne doesn't give them the impression of a model. Felicia was getting prettier than Tyra, so Tyra had her murdered. I mean booted. For the first time I can remember (i don't know if it's happened before) Tyra takes the time to say goodbye to Felicia and give her advice. Normally she dismisses them with a thank you. also, both plus sizes has lasted longer (probably) than other plus size girls of the past. this means tyra's making a statement this cycle.

SRC: Top 10

This week, Ryan told the kids in groups of three if they made up the bottom. Peter Noone performed and something that i thought was pretty amazing was when Ryan was introducing him, there was footage of Noone on the huge screen in the background that made him look like he is mildly retarded. it was him gaily clapping and doing hand movements, clearly in some sort of session with someone, but it was all very weird how it was placed and muted and in slo mo. Lulu performed one of my fave songs (to sir with love) and she's a little spitfire, isn't she? ryan went through three groups of three, telling them they were all safe. the last group of three consisted of Sanjaya, Gina, and Haley ..and i guarantee that was the idol producers wanting to trick america into thinking that was the bottom three since that's probably what everyone was guessing. i was onto them though, and as the three of them stood awaiting their fate, i frantically searched the group to see who hadn't stood, because by my count, two people hadn't been called and they definitely had to be in the bottom. I knew stephanie was one of them (and although it was sad, it wasn't much of a surprise for me). I couldn't figure out who the second person would be until ryan told him to stand up --- and america, what the fuck was chris richardson doing in the bottom two?!?!?!??! we need to rethink our priorities, assassinate anyone associated with votefortheworst, and get rid of the crying girl from the performance show who gives sanjaya the belief that he has fans and talent. because this season is gonna be the worst if we let the pranksters take over.

ps. stephanie went home this week.

SPRING Reality Corner Debut!!!! Top 11: Performances

This week, I'm going to type up my notes just as I wrote them. No amendments, no introductions or segues. Starting.......now:

Woah, ppl got HAIR-cuts!

forgetting lyrics last week -- ooh. ouch on brandon. wait, who?

Theme this week: British Invasion. Guests: Peter Noone (Herman's Hermits) for boys, Lulu for girls. I want to be best friends with this Lulu.

HALEY: Tell Him is one of my fave songs. Don't ruin it, Scarnato. Woah. Haley forgot her pants and brought her stripper shoes. That'll get her votes.

CHRIS R: Peter Noone hates Chris. Da-yum. I don't like this "moustache" he's "growing". He reminds me of the cheshire cat with it. Paula wants to fuck him. Amen. ...Ryan does too.

STEPHANIE: This could be amayzing. ...but it wasn't. What's happenin', Savannah?

--something weird happens here with ryan and a phone and a weird yelp.

BLAKE: Peter Noone looks like a small guy wearing a big mascot head and shoulder pads. I love this song. The only thing that bothers me about Blake is the way he moves his mouth when he sings. ps why did the sign saying 'blake is great' get featured? BORING.

--Ryan dances and sings. awk-ward. and then asks blake who his daddy is.

LAKISHA: I wish LaKisha had listened to Lulu. She'll be fine though.

NOSPHILATU: meh. he has a good voice but he makes me uncomfortable.

JORDIN: Yeah, ok she did great. she still seems annoying.

--ugh, in Sanjaya's tease, he does a lot of weird stuff with his tongue that I think is actually supposed to be "wild"

SANJAYA: Oh, this is gonna be terrible. Oh god no. What is he wearing? What is he doing? Some girl in the audience is crying. I'm crying too. ps she's been crying the entire show. nobody discusses how bad this is. poor kid.

GINA: Yes. I like this one. But ouch on simon. that could hurt her chances.

CHRIS S: I wish he looked different. I'm shallow.

MELINDA: Melinda. My girl. And crying audience girl is still crying. I think she might be hurt.

My guess for the bottom 3: Phil, Sanjaya, and Stephanie. Though I'm nervous for Gina. I refuse to attempt to guess who gets booted for as long as sanjaya is still there. it's really throwing things off.

A message to Sara

Oh please Sara, i hope you have something to say about the crying little girl on American Idol last night. I only caught the very end, and other than Melinda Doolittle she was the most engrossing performer of the (5 minutes that I saw) show.

WRC: Out with the Fuggleton! Edition

Tyra realized that even after the makeover, Cassandra was still ugly.

So this week was everyone's favorite episode - the MAKEOVER episode. Hooray!! Of course, Tyra feels the need to do some sort of skit (she really needs to stop with those). This time, she does one where she throws a fit about getting her "hair" cut off. The biggest drama this cycle though, was that Jael's first look didn't take, so they put her through hell trying to fix it. and in my opinion, she was a pretty good sport about it.

I thought that post-makeover, Jaslene, Dionne, Felicia and Diana look great. Renee, Jael, and Whitney looked pretty good. Brittany, Natasha and Sarah looked eh. and Cassandra was an improvement, but there was just no hope. My roommate thinks that they only kept her around until they could take that wig out of her head.

Also dramatic for Jael this episode was her Tragic News. And again, for how serious it was, she did a pretty good job of keeping it together (for the most part).

So the challenge this week was one of those where they have to put on a full face of makeup in a certain amount of time whilst running from place to place. Cassandra got disqualified because she got stuck in a tree and was late. ha. The photoshoot theme was candy and sweets and naked poon. the girls stripped down and were painted with pictures of candy and covered in syrup and it all looked delicious and messy.

Sarah - looked like an ice cream gnome

Dionne - i love this girl. they still aren't showing too much of her personality though.

Brittany - can't stop FUCKING complaining. SHEESH.

Diana - I still like her so far, despite the fact that she's shown a little bit of bitchery.

Renee - fucking excuse making finger pointing shit stirrer. ugh.

Whitney - I'm still eh on her. she seems like a really cool person though.

Jael - is still in the running towards becoming my next top fave

Felicia - the hair made such an improvement. i think she's a strong contender. the hair also makes her look her age, but she can still work it.

Jaslene - Beautiful. a huge improvement with the makeover too. (i wish she weren't so skinny)

Natasha - i would like for natasha to stick around if just for her crazy foreignisms.

At panel, it came down to Cassandra and Diana. They kept saying stuff about cassandra like 'beautiful personality' 'beautiful on the inside' 'heart of gold'. haha. you're ugly. go home. though i still think my favorite part was when they first revealed her photo and it was so silent. i wish they had put some cricket chirps in there. anyway, i can't even remember what they didn't like about diana (i feel like it was her body, but they had to know what they were signing on for what with her being a plus size model and all). regardless, fuggleton got the boot and sara rejoiced. Next week: i'll probably still be waiting for renee, brittany and sarah to get kicked off.

Pinch Me! It can't be true!

i've recently discovered something horrific, which resulted in me conducting a survey. This all started yesterday when i was im'ing my friend. I was saying something to the effect of 'i wish this weekend were a regular weekend because i don't want to deal with having to wear green and pinching and people throwing up everywhere.' To which my friend (New Jersey) responded "pinching??" I couldn't believe she had no idea what i was talking about, so i im another friend of mine. i reiterate the story to her and just as i'm about to say something like 'can you BELIEVE she doesn't know about the pinching?!', friend #2 (Massachussetts) says "pinching?!?" and I flip out again. So at this point, I determine that it's time to get some answers. I im another friend (New Jersey) and I turn around to the coworker behind me (New Jersey) and say "what happens when you don't wear green on St. Patrick's Day?" Both respond: "i don't know, what?". At this point my mind is being blown, because a good portion of my childhood was made up of fear of forgetting st. patrick's day, forgetting to wear green, and spending the entire day getting pinched. So i google the words "green st. patrick's pinch" and a page of results comes up that proves to me that i'm not delusional or creating some sort of fairy world with fantasy memories. After this, I run to the next nearest coworker and i say "what happens when you don't wear green on St. Patrick's Day?" She (Florida) responds "you get pinched!" I thank my lucky stars at this that i am not alone. you see, this weirds me out so much because i grew up in approximately three different places (germany, texas and hawaii) and this tradition existed in all of them. So i figured it was pretty much a known thing that happens, and the fact that i'd already encountered four people that didn't know what the hell i was talking about made my whole world as i knew it fall apart. When i got home for the day, i asked my two roommates what happens on St. Patrick's day when you don't wear green. Oregon said "you get pinched!" and new hampshire said "you get slapped in the face?" (she can be violent sometimes). So, now i guess i'm taking this time to educate the northeasterners and anyone else who doesn't know about the pinching. it's unfair that the rest of the world grew up fearing st. patty's day -- fearing the assholes that would tell you it's not the right shade of green, or the jerks who said that it wasn't enough green (or that the green on your underwear doesn't count), and loving the teachers that would have clovers cut out of construction paper to pin on the kiddies that forgot in order to lessen the amount of violence going down on this oh so irish holiday. I hope some people learned a lesson today, and I hope those people will promptly forget about it after drinking themselves into a slushy puddle on the curb.

A nerdy surprise!

I was watching Jeopardy last night when there was the first ever three way tie in Jeoparty History! Seriously exciting! I really have nothing funny to say about it, i just thought it was cool. I guess this post also proves my loserdom, since I was indeed home on a Friday evening watching Jeopardy.

We are a family, like a giant tree

shout out to a coolfacelet!!!! My very own brother, and one of the original members of the fellowship, recently got interviewed for pinkergreen because he is an artistic genius. Also, he so lovingly gave our witto blog a shout out. What a guy! Hooray for Ricky!!

Check out the interview here!!!

WRC: Top 11

So there's good news and there's bad news and then there's news that could go either way...

The bottom three this week consisted of NosPhilatu, Sanjaya, and Brandon -- all boys i could do without. i think it's awesome that the bottom three were all dudes....i wish when they cut it down from 24 that it wouldn't be strictly 2 boy 2 girl each week because you know we could've been spared sanjaya for sabrina. anyway, i don't rule the world, so i'm over it. Phil turned out to be safe, leaving the bottom two as Sanjaya and Brandon. So of course the world thinks it'll be sanjaya because he clearly NEEDS TO FUCKING LEAVE but i think "well it definitely could be brandon - never underestimate a gaggle of tween wannabe hags." So the bad news is that Sanjaya is still around. The good news is that Brandon is out (i was a couple weeks early on calling that one) and i, for one, am pleased. The news that could go either way is that Sanjaya had the second least amount of votes. It is possible that his fanbase will notice this and double the votes next week, but i really hope he just goes. there's only one other person that i wouldn't mind sacrificing before him but beyond that it won't be cool if he beats out more deserving people.

WRC: Top 12 Performances

Brandon - I don't really like this guy...ever since his 'tude that one time. and i think he's a little sleazy.

Melinda - Paula's first official random crying y'all!!! I love how Melinda has the right amount of confidence when it comes to performing..but then right after it disappears...like she blacked out to perform or something. I heart MD.

Chris Sligh - No glasses on this dude makes me uncomfortable. I think this is the point of the competition where you can't just rely on having a great voice. I also hated his arrangement

Gina - I really hope gina makes it through a few weeks. i'm pleased with her.

Sanjaya - I hate how he holds the mic, I hate how he moves on stage. He is so wrong for this competition and I'm so mad that he's still here. He also went opposite of his flat-iron girl hair last week and had a justin guarini curly fro this week. I feel like everyone is doing everything they can (judges, hair stylist, me) to get this kid kicked off. for his own sake. except america.

Haley - I think she might be around for a couple weeks because she's the only girl like her there. her comments were better than they have been, but she might've screwed herself by doing so much visible self-doubting.

Phil - creeps me out. good voice, but the problem is we have to look at him. he's too nosferatu for me.

LaKisha - wonderful as usual

Blake - he'll be fine whatever he does for now i think

Stephanie - I love this girl, but I totally agree with Simon re: I kept waiting for that song to start.

Chris R - it definitely was a terrible vocal and he's had way better performances in the past, but I totally love this guy and he'll always do right by me. (for now)

Jordin - Jordin...allow me to be a little bold about jordin here. I feel like she has done 3 mediocre performances in a row and everyone was being nice to her because they thought she should definitely be in the top 12. and now that she's there, she's (in my opinion) still doing mediocre performances. i love the land before time, but that song showed her youth, it bored me, and i don't think it was as vocally perfect as the judges said it was. it seems like the judges are trying to push her into the finals for whatever reason...but i remain unimpressed. and she seems like she'd be kind of annoying in person.

All in all, if it's a girl, it will probably be a vote split that stephanie will likely suffer from. If it's a boy, it better be Sanjaya. Either way, it better be sanjaya. if america is stupid again, then i think chris sligh is in trouble. though i'd rather see phil go first.

HAPPY 200!!

It's our 200th post!!! Hooray for everyone!! In celebration of our 200th post, I'd like to let everyone know that we've now gone through and labeled all the posts so, for example, if you want to see all the "reality corner" posts that there have ever been, click on 'reality corner'. if you want to see everyone who has been inducted into the coolfacelets, click on 'coolface fam'. if you want to remind yourself of the wonderful A. Rock, click on "a. rock". I LOVE ORGANIZATION!!!

Secondly, I saw on the news last night that Queens is looking for a new poet laureate. I'd like to take this opportunity to nominate our very own Becca Jones. Becca lives in Queens and comes from a long line of poets. Just check out this pedigree!!!

Excuses Excuses

Sorry for the lack of becca posts. I admit it, i've been partying a little too hard lately.



Damn! those american girl doll enthusiats know how to party!

Please note: I did not actually attend this party. I was not invited. It's cool I'm not hurt...........................Ok. I admit it yes, yes i am hurt.

Official Induction

Please meet the latest member of the Fellowship of the Coolfacelets:

CHRISTINE!!!



christine is the best and everyone should love her the mostest.


Make yourself known and YOU could be the next inductee!!

WRC: high school!!!!

This week's episode of top model is all about high school --- which I think for the viewing audience is a blast from the past novelty, but for the contestants, it's basically like going back to yesterday or something. anyway, the girls got some walking lessons from one j and had to do a runway show for a high school as the challenge, and then did a photo shoot with the other jay where they had to embody high school stereotypes. and can i just say that between a runway show for high school students and last week's runway show for the goodwill employee/parking lot loiterers, i think ANTM might be losing its clout. and can i also say that i was at the gym today watching something with a bunch of stunners on vh1, so i thought it was that one show the agency...and i was like, no wonder antm keeps getting average looking contestants, all the hotties are actually models! imagine my surprise when i realized i was not watching the agency, but rather Australia's Next Top Model. between those girls and the dudes i met last weekend, i'm convinced that that's where all the beautiful people come from.

Ok, so last week's fight was about burping, this week was about jaslene's trantastic self esteem. now that we're all caught up, let's move on to the list. i've also got all the girls' names this week, so i'll make the proper corrections:

Renee (fka Renee) - CLASS CLOWN - UGH!!! Stop with the excuses. This girl's got a sack of excuses always at the ready and her son in her back pocket. I would really like for someone to punch Renee in her pretty little bitchy face. She also complained about two people watching her photo shoot, but then you see that she sat in on everyone else's. ugh. can't stand her.

Whitney (fka Plus Size #2) - MEAN GIRL - I dunno. I don't see what tyra sees. i don't have any opinion on her except that she needs to find better fitting tops.

Jael (fka Jael) - BOOKWORM - bitch can work an 80's look. and a nerdy look. i think that really she might be able to work any look. I might love this girl. and if i don't, i definitely could.

Felicia (fka Tyra Jr) - JOCK - brows on the loose!!! seriously, i'm jonesin for makeover episode for this girl. otherwise, lil tyra is fab

Cassandra (fka Fugalicious) - CHEERLEADER - i think it's hilarious that they made the fugster fuggleton the cheerleader. They took her shirt off so you wouldn't look at her face.

Jaslene (fka Jaslene) - WEIRDO - This girl can take a fucking picture.

Diana (fka Plus Size #1) - STUDENT BODY PRESIDENT - i tried really hard to make some sort of joke tying 'student body' with the fact that she's a plus size model, but then i gave up. Regardless, this is the plus size steed I'm choosing.

Brittany (fka soccer mom) - VALEDICTORIAN - i can't understand why the judges love this girl so much. Eck. I can't roll with this.

Dionne (fka Deanna) - BAD GIRL - We haven't really seen too much about this girl, but I'm pleased so far.

Natasha (fka Russian Mail Order Bride) - TEACHER'S PET - of course the russian's name is Natasha. i think the language thing is going to make things so difficult on her and that the judges are eventually going to cut her loose because they don't want to deal with trying to convey their thoughts to her.

Sarah (fka Sarah) - CLASS FLIRT - Is not a model to me. Does nothing for me.

Samantha (fka Brows) - BAD REPUTATION - She needs to get over who she is and step into her characters. She's such a dud. i don't think she realizes that if she wants to be a model, she's often going to be in situations (and have jobs) that require her to be a different person than she is...and she just seemed really resistant to that...


...Which is why Brows and her brows got the boot this week. Unfortunate because i really was looking forward to seeing her post-makeover, but whatevs - good riddance i say. she was one of the prettiest ones there, but she was also too conservative for this fickle fickle world.

Some final notes:

-CariDee's My Life As A Covergirl are byfar the best ones.

- People i would love to see leave: Cassandra, Renee, Sarah, Brittany, and Whitney.

OUR BIGGEST WEEK EVER!!! ...i think

i just wanted to give a shout out to all our loyal readers and a hello to any new guys pokin' around the joint. We had over 300 visits this week and I know that to any other blog that's effing pocket change or something, but to us that's pretty huge. We've had some big numbers as of late and here are the public thank yous i'd like to give. Becca can add on with any more that she might think of...

1) People who like to see Maggie Gyllenhaal's baby hole covered in fur.

- for a while, we were blindsided by the amount of traffic directed our way based solely on one picture and one mention of maggie gyllenhaal on this blog. but then we decided not to question and just to accept it--life hasn't been the same since.

2) Dolly Parton, Queen of the World

- we all know how fucking awesome dolly is so let's not waste any time there. Without Dolly, we wouldn't have the dolly fans who have come out in crowds THREE TIMES as large as gyllenhaal's supporters. Dolly wins everything. Dolly should be a contestant on american idol, america's next top model, AND the Amazing Race. and i don't even watch the amazing race.

3) Anyone with McPheever

- some kids at idol forum came across a post of mine and that day gave us record-breaking numbers (probably). never underestimate what kind of information superfans will scramble for.

4) fourfour.typepad.com

- if you're a consistent reader of this blog, then you know i have a special place in my heart for Rich from fourfour. aside from just having an awesome blog, he does amazing recaps of top model with screen shots and videos and sound clips and hilarious but spot-on observations. he also has a hamburger head cat named winston and another cat whose name i don't know. i pimp out his blog at any opportunity i have because i think the world would be a better place if everyone read it. anyway, he recently linked us on his blog and i couldn't be more excited.


5) the steadfast members of the coolfacelets

- all 3 official inductees. make your presence known and you could very well be inducted. i'm thinking our next inductee may or may not be a gentlelady named christine.

WRC: YOUR top 12

so i ended up watching the results show before i got a chance to finish watching the guys sing, but it appears i didn't really need to write much more than i had. I was correct about Jared getting kicked out. and THANK GOD, finally america got the hint and Antonella is out. carrie underwood comes out and performs and i wonder if she's thinking 'i'm a grammy winning superstar, when will i be able to stop coming back to perform for these wannabes'. then we get to the interesting part -- they send everyone through to the top 12 until 10 spots are filled and we're left with four people: Sanjaya, Sundance, Sabrina, and Haley. Sabrina and Haley are called up and you look at the two of them and think "oh, sara was right on because there's no WAY that sabrina/nosella is going home right now and that haley has ever done better than her. And then sabrina/nosella gets sent home and haley gets through to the top 12. and you can tell by how hard haley takes it that she knows it should've been her. then i start to wonder that maybe some people are confused and think that they are still voting for katharine mcphee when they vote for haley. then there's some long thing about how idol is gonna save the world or something. when it FINALLY ends, seacrest calls up sanjaya and sundance and the world thinks "well, sundance isn't gonna win, but he definitely deserves the last spot more than sanjaya does. god damn, sara is good!" so the last spot goes to sanjaya. it's just, really a waste of a top 12 spot there. he doesn't have a chance unless he is able to gain confidence and lose awkwardness and i will protest until these tween girls stop voting for the little boy whose hag they all totally want to be. ugh. i'm so over america sometimes.

WRC: Idol Top 16

****UPDATE****I still haven't seen all the boys, but apparently I clairvoyantly mentioned all the boys that were affected in last night's results show. i don't know when (or if) i'll get to watching the rest of that other show, so i'm probably not gonna add anymore to this post.

Here we go...we're almost at the top 12. Finally, i'll only have to commit one night to performances. I'm hoping that everything goes according to what i have planned in my noggin...otherwise it'll be a looong season having to put up with the lesser talented but more popular contestants.

BOYS:
BLAKE: i really don't think blake needs to worry about anything for the next 8 weeks or so
SANJAYA: It was nice of Sanjaya to let his sister sing for him this week. Too weak, too timid. He better be gone this week, because honestly, no matter what, this guy doesn't have a shot at taking this competition.
SUNDANCE: he'll most likely make the top 6, but he gets less appealing to me weekly. even though he finally found his footing again, he just hasn't blown my mind in performances like he did at his first audition.

** a stab in the dark guess until i see the rest of the episode -- sanjaya and jared (who is just so forgettable to me)

GIRLS:
JORDIN: she was pretty charismatic last night. i think she's safe.
SABRINA: no worries.
ANTONELLA: much better this week but seriously, she is zero compared to everyone else. she's amateurish and the weakest singer and kind of a brat. even the judges- in so many words- were like, america, kick this bitch out.
HALEY: just not good enough
STEPHANIE: woot! savannah!
LAKISHA: lakisha can do no wrong.
GINA: still reigning white girl
MELINDA: fucking melinda. sing me lullabies. i heart you.

if haley and antonella aren't out this week, i'll eat my fucking hat.

in other tragic news...

first the torso in a suitcase and now this!?!

I read on gothamist about some sad sad news for the city of new york... the party bike has been officially banned. sigh. this now means that groups of 6 overweight tourist can no longer pretend to pedal a huge bike-like contraption that takes up 3 lanes and goes five miles per hour through times square during rush hour. honestly, i don't know what goes through the lawmakers heads sometimes.

i guess it's back to those big red tour buses and single pedi-cabs for you out of towners!

SERIOUSLY, America?

America has been making some bad choices recently that not only make me uncomfortable, but that i think are forewarning us that the world is about to end. For one, Antonella Barba is still on American Idol. Secondly, Britney scrawls 666 on her forehead, screams that she is the antichrist, and then tries to kill herself with her bedsheets...and NOW, fucking WILD HOGS made 38 million at the box office. REALLY, AMERICA?!?!?! You're going to throw away your money on that load of crap??? are the four horsemen of the apocalypse really just john travolta, tim allen, martin lawrence, and william h. macy on motorcycles?!?! excuse me while i go vomit as much as i did when i read on the news that a woman's torso in a suitcase washed ashore.


Source: [MTV UK] via [BWE]
Source: [NY TIMES]

Subway Spotlight: Two Running Ladies!!

A few months ago, I was running a little bit early (a rare occasion indeed) and as i was heading to the train i was passed by two ladies fleeing towards the train exit. I thought to myself, i bet those bitches are late to work. Then today, another rare occasion where i was running the same amount of a little bit early I again am passed by these two same fleeing ladies. My question is this: why don't they just take an earlier train instead of sprinting to work every day?

WRC: AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL Y'ALL

a lotta stupid/hilarious things happened in these two hours, and i wish i had time to cover it all, but for now, we'll just do a general rundown of the girls...Oh also, i don't know all their names yet and i don't feel like looking them up, so I'll refer to them by affectionate nicknames for now...

Dummy - (kathleen i think...i'll never know her name for sure because she was kicked off) She was so dumb that it was trying, but it was such an innocent stupidity that it was kind of endearing and lovable. She really would've been a wealth of entertainment throughout the show if she stayed on. I've gotten hours of entertainment out of: judges: "We don't think you really understood the concept of the shoot." Kathleen: "I know, right?"

Russian Mail Order Bride - AMAZING that there is a mail order bride on top model. She's pretty but i think she needs some sunsilk hairapy

Jaslene - Welcome back, last year's trantastic latina. she's better looking this year but grossly skinny

Jael - i'm interested in seeing what she can do with her photos..i think she can probably do really well

Brows - She has great potential, i'm just waiting for the makeover episode to clean up those brows

Cassandra..? - Fugalicious definition make those boys go running. seriously, fug. like, no excuse, no escape fug. not even fashion fug.

2 Plus Size gals - awesome that there are two, but the plus size contestants never have a chance. i dare tyra to prove me wrong.

Sarah - i'm done with this self-righteous know it all.

Renee - In my opinion, one of the prettiest girls. Also, the most annoying and bitchy. i'm upset because i thought she'd represent hawaii, but now she's just shaming us.

Deana - i like her, but have no point of reference for her. at this point, i probably couldn't even pick her out of a lineup.

Soccer Mom - looks like a mixture of the worst parts of cameron diaz and sandra bernhardt

tyra jr - very pretty. her hair and brows can't wait for the makeover episode.

So there's the brief rundown of the potential 'models', soon i'll get a little more in depth- feel free to leave your thoughts about the episode in the comments!!

WRC: Idol Results

So...I was...kind of off on my guesses. i must've forgotten that america can be an idiot about things and people don't necessarily vote on who is the best. and the only reason i can think that antonella barba is still there is because of websites like that one vote for the worst place where they send massive amounts of votes to the worst contestant to make the producers (and me) angry. whatevs, at least i was 25% right with Alaina getting the boot. Her kickoff singing time was almost really embarrassing because she was crying so much she couldn't get a note out and then she called the girls down to hug her and it was kind of sad, but she was able to pull it together to sing a little bit. Leslie also got kicked off. I figured she'd go next week anyway, but i would have liked to see that QM perform again. Any little bit to unlock the mystery of leslie hunt.

kellie pickler performed and i was all 'kellie boobjob'? also, she's aged herself 20 years with that hairdo she was sporting. if i would've given fantasia a nickname last week i would've called her 'fantasia cheetohs'

So, I will admit that my opinion on nick was probably swayed because i thought he was cute, so i'll say i was way off on that one. but AJ?!?! not sweet lil most likely gay aj! he had a great voice and performed so much better than sanjaya. seriously. what the eff?

WRC: Top 20

BOYS
I think the following six boys are safe this week:

1.Chris Richardson - mmmmmm
2.Sundance Head - finally came back this week. we'll see if he can keep it up.
3.Blake Lewis - i just love this kid
4.Chris Sligh - so great. again - don't know about the whole "look" thing with him. Then again, taylor did win last year (zing!).
5.AJ Tibaldo - this cute lil monchichi finally did something where he sticks out.
6.Nick Pedro - i want to use his voice as a blanky.

I think unfortunately Sanjaya is done. he was too timid and it was like he was performing for an audience of 10. logistically i think probably phil (nosferatu) will be the second, but hear me out on this: brandon rogers.

Brandon Rogers pissed me the fuck off this week. I was completely warming up to him until his stupid bratty attitude. it is a show about singing, not who can 'feel' the best. it doesn't matter how much heart you put into it, you can't just make a dedication and rely on that as a great performance. he has to be able to stick out against these other boys and by doing a bullshit BORING performance and, when called out on it, acts like a complete baby, he isn't doing that. i think he maybe shot himself in the foot with the 'tude he gave the judges. he was likeable, now he's just stubborn and cocky.

GIRLS

1.Melinda Doolittle - i love love LOVE melinda doolittle. and that she's kind of dorky and all face.
2.Lakisha Jones - she has nothing to worry about this week...i did expect a little more from her out of this song, but she's still phenomenal.
3.Stephanie - big ups to savannah!
4.Nosella Noserton (Sabrina Sloan) - not her best today, but she'll be fine,
5.Gina Glocksen - reigning white girl
6.Jordin Sparks - aww. she loves her brother. she's melting my cold dark heart.

Ryan: "So antonella, what will you do differently this week?" Antonella: "Well, the entire nation has seen my scandalous pictures, so I'm counting on those votes." I think Antonella is for sure done. for sure. if it wasn't cemented by her terrible performance, it was by her ridiculous' tude. she sux. Beyond that, i'm guessing Alaina Alexander or Haley Scarnato. I really think there's only room for one white girl in the top 6 and neither of these girls are it.