Lindsay Lohan of the Week

Let's take some time to consider the following two quotes from the mouth of our favorite redhead, Lindsay Lohan:

From Nickelodeon magazine:
Q: if you were a teacher, what subject would you teach?
Linds: I think I could teach anything I set my mind to. Maybe Ethics.

--It's really great that Lindsay has such a positive attitude about her career in teaching. I'm sure she COULD teach anything she set her mind to. Except Ethics.

From NY Post via BWE

"If I'm going to give my body to someone I'd rather them not be with other people. But I want to be able to if I like someone else."

--This hypocrite wants to be your Ethics teacher.

that crazy redhead

As we've heard recently (and several times before), Lindsay Lohan was hospitalized for "dehydration" and "heat exhaustion" because, according to her publicist, she was "working" for 12 hours in 105 degree heat. Now, we all know that this kind of statement is merely part of a publicist's job; a client effs up somehow and the publicist earns her huge paycheck by putting a spin on the truth so that the star in question remains in the most positive light possible. the problem is, publicists underestimate the intelligence of the general public and don't realize that we've come to recognize certain statements as thinly veiled excuses for bad celebrity behavior.
here are some examples:
-usually anything that has to do with hospitalization due to dehydration and/or exhaustion equals too much partying plus enormous amounts of alcohol plus probably a lot of blow.
-"taking some time off" usually equals rehab
-"tom cruise is the happiest he's ever been" = tom cruise is feeling quite gay
-"i'm not gay" = i am gay

But, along with underestimating our intelligence, publicists once in a while try to be cute by throwing in seemingly unnecessary details that end up being clues that lead us on a scavenger hunt of truth. For example, when vitamin B shots are used in one of those dehydration/heat exhaustion instances, there's probably a pharmacist around somewhere that knows what that really means


UPDATE!! Check out this scandalous letter courtesy of TSG

Coolface wants to know..

what's with the aversion to underwear, linds?