FRC: ANTM - there are 11 top models, y'all

previously: everyone kinda sucked, but the least suckiest (i guess) are samantha, mckey, and analeigh. will it be mckey - the weirdo ren faire boxer who has yet to be in the bottom? or analeigh, one figure skating half of this year's lesbian power couple? or samantha -- nah, it probably won't be samantha.

the girls are given their lines for the covergirl commercial. they are nervous because it contains some dutch. i wish it contained double dutch and a dutchie. they pretend to get excited about walmart. whitney shows up talking about lip gloss - as she does.

sam is first and not her usual perky self. mckey freaks out but pulls it together. analeigh freezes, crashes and burns. yuh oh. i do have a hard time believing that analeigh, the best actress of the group, would freeze up in this situation, but whatevs. they do their photos. it's boring as usual.

panel. don't get me started on the guest dutch's last name. sam gets a mediocre review, analeigh does not get good marks. um, so tyra picks on analeigh's lips in the shot and analeigh said if she closed them, the photographer said that it was too sexy. but instead of just pointing out analeigh's penchant for pursing her lips when they're closed, tyra does the "this is sexy lips, this is not sexy lips" thing. hilariously, after the sexy lips demonstration, analeigh emphatically agreed that it was, indeed, very sexy. mckey clearly does the best here.

whitney's last my life as a covergirl is like a target commercial. first called is mckey. obvs. analeigh is a modeling butterface, samantha is both too commercial and not commercial enough. oh tyra, what a twisted web you weave. holy cow...samantha is called. damn. i'm truly shocked. samantha and mckey. what an...interesting top 2.

sam and mckey do their seventeen shoot. samantha says "17! it's so me! i was 17 like three months ago!!" excuse me while i go stab myself.

whitney starts the runway show. mckey goes out and is better than i expected, but i guess i don't know what to expect since they barely practice runway anymore. holland's top model is also here. i wonder if this was part of her prize. sam is next to make her way around the pink hilly winding runway. honestly, neither of them are blowing me away.

final panel. you should see what tyra is wearing. and if you have --- i know, right?! ugh, i can't deal with her. they go over the walks and the photos. they break it down to this: they're both tall, beautiful, sweet tomboys...so...either way...

and after calling them out for being nervous, Tyra announces that america's next top model is.......................mckey. well, duh. she lifts tyra in celebration. tyra then dismisses sam so the bitches can partay!! mckey also lifts paulina, and then tyra one more time. tyra runs out of there before she can admit she liked it too much.