Pranking Question

if someone plays a prank in the woods, and no one is around to laugh at it, does that just make the prankster an asshole?

by telling this story, i'm invalidating my point. before, when i was just a victim with no audience, the prankster was an asshole. now i'm telling my tale, and others will laugh, and the prankster will have won.

you know everyone's favorite prank where you loosely screw the cap of a salt shaker on so that when someone goes to salt their food, you essentially ruin a perfectly good meal for them? well that happened to me, but at a pizza place. and with the red pepper flake shaker. and because i never try to cause a rumble, when the pizza man offered me a new slice i just told him i would 'wipe it off'. i don't know if i realized that this would be similar to an arts and crafts project - the cheese being glue and the pepper flakes glitter. needless to say, i could not just 'wipe it off'. i got most of it, but not without burning my fingertips and mouth. i was then sweaty for the next hour at work. thanks jerk mystery prankster. i hope you're happy now that others can laugh at me. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY!!!

Support the Elderly

Because of how far out in the BK i live, the train is usually pretty empty in the mornings and i have no trouble finding a seat. Today however, as I clumsily lumbered down the steps and saw that the platform was more populated than normal, i assumed that the train was running late, and it would come filled with more passengers than usual. The train showed up, and I was correct...all seats were already taken. i sadly made my way over to a pole and held on. about a minute later, i felt a tap on my arm and looked over to someone offering me their seat. how sweet! only catch? it was an OLD LADY! i know my place on the subway seat ladder, and i come below old people. I thanked her but no thanked her because i wasn't gonna take a seat from an older woman. She insisted, and so i sat down.

Every stop that she stood and no seats emptied up for her made me feel guiltier and guiltier. it actually wasn't too bad because she seemed like a pretty sturdy and active older lady. she wasn't really that old at all, and she was sporting her mom jeans, running shoes and trisonic earphones attached to what looked like boombox under her zip up sweater but was probably just a fanny pack. she was a granny on the go...or actually she kind of looked more like a lesbian great aunt. i still felt bad...there were 9 other people sitting in the area i was standing in, 7 who weren't elderly, and the person that jumped to her feet to give this cripple a seat was a kind old lady?! does no one else feel the shame i do when i don't notice a pregnant woman or old lady standing quick enough to be the first to offer her my seat??

RoboTinez

I'm not too sure if it's been mentioned here, but I've recently had some leg problems. I finally made it out to the doc last week and she believes it's the same thing i thought it was (with the help of webmd of course) - a stress fracture. so she sent me on my way to get xrays and an mri and prescribed me a boot.

the boot makes me feel like half a robot.

while this is mostly true, i also am pushing the robot angle because it makes my boot less nerdy and more badass, therefore pushing me to levels of badassness that have rarely been reached.

i told my oft-mentioned pal Bill about this, and he whipped up the following picture, which, upon viewing, caused me to faint at its awesomeness:



because it was so amazing, i forwarded it to my oft-mentioned brother, Ricky. A little while later, I received this in my inbox:



upon viewing this, i crumbled and disintegrated, forced out of existence by its sheer brilliance.


as a side note, though, can i just say that there really are some jerks in new york. i've been saying that the one advantage of this boot is that at least i'll get a seat on the subway. NOT TRUE. I boarded the train during rush hour and of course all the seats were taken and i sadly held on to a pole. I don't know what was worse -- the guy i saw out of the corner of my eye start to get up for me, but then change his mind and remain seated, or the lady that booked it to a newly available seat even though i was already lumbering over to it. needless to say, she beat me, and i remained with the pole.