what's my age again

mom (talking about some john wayne movie): it was 25 years ago, so...
me: 25 years? are you sure?
mom: yeah, it was the 70's...
me: mom, I'm 26 and I was born in 1982.
me: oh wait, I'm 27.

conversations about ninjas

here is a conversation i had with my team leader when i got into work this morning:

TL: Oh, hi Sara. You snuck in today.
Me: Like a ninja.
TL: A what?
Me: A ninja.
TL: I don't know what that means. I've only heard the word.
Me: Ninja -- Silent, sneaky.... deadly.
TL: What is it, like an animal?
Me: No, a person!
TL: Is that a real word?
Me: Yeah! Ninja! Silent assassins. You never see them. You never hear them. Until it's too late.
TL: But, what--- Nevermind.

Fin.

phone conversations with my mother

me: today is bianca's birthday.
mom: how old is she?
me: um...let's see, i'm 27--
mom: --YOU'RE 27?! i thought you were--- someone just asked me how old you were and i told them 26 but then i was like 'maybe she's 25'.
me: ...
mom: i can't believe you're 27. you're old!
me: ...and ricky's 30, so that means bianca is 29.




is this endearing or should i worry that my mother is losing it?

the girl with the face

the other day, i was asking a fellow boxing class member about the whereabouts of a third class member. i asked for the third by name, and the girl i was asking had a confused look on her face and asked who i was talking about. i started to say something descriptive, when the girl i was conversing with cut in with "oh! is she the one with the..." and then made a general hand gesture around her face. my response was "yes, her", even though i don't really know what she meant by that.

<3 moms

i was on my landline phone with me mom yesterday when i heard a wacky noise (it's hard to describe...like a mix of mechanical and reception, whatever that means to you), i then verified if it was only on my side of things, made a joke, and then pulled the phone away from my ear to see if my phone was still connected. when i did this, i accidentally hung the phone up. this is what my mom heard:

Sara: What's that noise? Do you hear that noise? I think aliens are abducting me! *click*

when i called her back, my mom was still laughing. (to be honest, i still chuckle thinking about it.) whence we were done laughing about it, it hit me that i could have actually been abducted by aliens-- all evidence pointed to it -- and my mom's response was to laugh!! between this and the zombie fakeout from last week, i don't know if the world is prepared for when the ACTUAL ZOMBIES AND ALIENS COME. come on, let's get serious about this...because it will happen.

on another mother related note, during the same phone conversation, my mom was telling me of some sort of upcoming teacher institute something or other day that the staff from the elementary schools through high schools have to go to. she was talking about the inconvenience of having to drive across the island to get there very early in the morning, and was considering taking a bus that her neighboring middle school had arranged for (she works at an elementary school). when she was weighing the pros and cons, this came out of her:


"Do I really want to ride with the middle school teachers? You know how crazy middle school teachers can be." (Mom, 2009)

an unwanted chicken burrito

here is the tale of how i ended up with a burrito different from the one i asked for...i will write out the conversation as it happened, and in parentheses i will write out how we misheard each other:

Me: can i have a vegetarian burrito? (Can i have an original burrito?)
Burrito Man: What kind of meat? (What kind of beans?)
Me: Pinto. (Pollo.)
BM: Okay, everything on it? (Ok, everything on it?)
Me: Yes, please. (Yes, please.)

the best part of this is that i saw him reach into the chicken and there was plenty of time for me to stop him and correct the order...but you know me, i like to ruffle as few feathers as possible. it's not that the chicken burrito is bad, it's pretty tasty...but i wanted the guacamole and the sour cream. argh! actually, the reason i didn't say anything is because i thought the burrito would come with that stuff anyway, but its only included on the vegetarian burrito. damn my luck.

A Phone Conversation with My Mother

MOM: (to something or someone on her side of things) Get! Get! Shoo! Oooops! I think i just hit a (mumbles some word that starts with p).

ME: You hit a panda?

MOM: No! A penguin!

ME: A penguin?!

MOM: Yes! A penguin.

ME: There are penguins walking around the street?!?!

MOM: Oh, no, not a penguin. A pigeon!

ME: Oh, that's different.