FRC: ANTM - Aswirlin' Windmills

Previously: the clip show. before that, L.B. got the boot.

marjorie and elina bond over being emotionally closed off Europeans. samantha is all, 'uh, haven't you lived here since you were, like 8?" and I'm all "mmHMM!!" and Elina freaks out about it and cries. because her newfound ability to cry is like my bathtub in its current state -- constantly streaming water. elina and marjorie found something to blame their awkwardness on and are really overusing it. thankfully, sheena and mckey are with me on this.

and here were are with those tweedle dee and dum aswirl twins. i wonder what these two do off season. i feel like they are kept in a box in storage somewhere. they don't seem to really even know what they are talking about. then there's james st. james playing with greenscreen body suits. they must sign these guests into contract 10 seasons at a time. speaking of, fucking SHOKET comes out. the girls must all wear green bodysuits and model invisibly. or something.

shoket and the pink haired designer are less than impressed with the girls. well, nobody is TEACHING them anything. it's not like other reality competition shows like project runway and top chef, where those contestants possess full and professional knowledge of the necessary skills. these are just pretty (sometimes) girls that want to be on tv and think they are pretty enough and tall enough to do it by way of 'modeling'. they don't teach these girls anything anymore! anytime anybody asks tyra how to smile with one's eyes, she ALWAYS responds "okay okay okay, look at me. right now i'm not smiling with my eyes (doesn't smile with eyes) okay? and now, i am smiling with my eyes (smiles with eyes)". fucking GREAT tyra. we KNOW you can do it, but can you please teach us how? (not me though, i totally know how to do it) Elina wins the challenge and shares her prize (seventeen photo shoot) with Annaleigh and Marjorie. all the wet blankets stick together.

marjorie and elina have started being elite europeans. i'm surprised they aren't wearing berets and putting skinny cigarettes out on people's faces. sheena wins me over a little here by telling them to grow up and get over it. i wonder if annaleigh is jealous of marjorie's new love. yo.

photo shoot - covergirl commercial. whitney is there and analeigh is like 'this is huge!' that HAD to be a fat joke. samantha does pretty well, it seems. joslyn is feeling sick, elina is too controlled, mckey is "clueless", cute analeigh kind of is awesome, joslyn pukes everywhere, marjorie is all hunchbackica nervosa, sheena does really well, joslyn powers through her vomit...she overdoes it, but at least she did it. right? spoiler alert -- no.

marjorie of course thinks she'll be on the chopping block, but she keeps saying 'shopping block'. maybe it's an immigrant thing. at panel, tyra briefly and pointlessly brings back the panel challenge and makes the girls walk in clogs. oh i guess it wasn't pointless, but rather tyra's fun way of telling the bitches to pack their bags they're going to AMSTERDAM!!! the aswirl twins come out dressed as windmills. what is going on with this show?

seven girls remain, 6 are going to amsterdam. those 6 include analeigh, sheena, sam, marjorie, and mckey for sure. this leaves joslyn and elina. samantha is awesomely repeatedly whispering joslyn's name. one took great pics but has faltered, one took great pics, but can't let go of some control. sheena also whispers joslyn's name. tyra says it aloud and i guess elina goes home because this is where my dvr cuts off.

but i'm wrong. as discussed with my smart and handsome brother, my dvr cut out right in the middle of an unfortunate sentence structure of tyra's, and rather Joslyn is the one that got the boot.