stoopid birds

my mother lives on the fifteenth floor of an apartment building with a lanai (hawaiian for balcony). we used to have two cats (we have just one now :\) that hated each other and who also had different ailments requiring different food for each. because of this, my mom put one of the cats' food bowls on the lanai, and the other in the kitchen. while this was semi-effective in keeping the cats apart, it would often attract mooching birds looking for a free meal and a drink of water. before both of our cats were ill, they were great at chasing the birds away. a couple of times, my mom even came home to a living room full of feathers. once, our cats were kind enough to kill the bird and leave the carcass in the middle of the room like a trophy. however, as the cats got older and sicker, the birds would feel more comfortable taking advantage. they would work in teams -- one bird would distract the cats while another would swoop in, land on the edge of the food bowl, and start his meal. sneaky bastards. after our second cat died earlier in the year, his bowl was removed from the balcony. the birds did not get the message and they still come around looking for a snack. since there is no bowl for them to eat out of, they just march right on into the apartment looking for food. my mother has perfected her war cry to scare them off, but because there is no threat to them from our remaining feline, they still feel free to waltz right in when no one's home. today, they took it too far.

we got home from our day full of adventures, and i noticed a mark on the rug. i assumed it was a little vomit pile from our sick little mandy, but when i got closer i saw that it was actually the shit of a bird. a stupid fucking bird moseyed on in to our humble abode, saw that there was no food for him, and shat right in the middle of the floor. SO RUDE.